Hate being a woman in the the dating scene

[Anonymous]

Went out with a guy four times. We fooled around a little but did not have sex on dates two and three (I think he was trying to sleep with me on date 3 but I put the brakes on that). Date four he kissed me goodnight very chastley (cheek), claimed he was tired, and walked me back to my car.

That was last Friday and nothing but one friendly text exchange since then (initiated by him). He hasn't asked me out and I don't think he will, since he didn't ask me over Friday night.

If I were a man, I could ask him out and pursue him and try to win him over.

As a woman, I know realistically he just isn't into me and I need to move on rather than try to pursue him.

[Anonymous]

You could win him over with sex.

[Anonymous]

He's not into you. And if he pursued you right now, it would be just to get you into bed, then disappear. So what would you rather happen, moving on before sex or after?

I know dating is tough. Don't take it personally and know that it's a numbers game. You are one person closer to meeting the right one.

[Anonymous]

Sorry. Dating sucks. I've kissed a lot of frogs before I got married. My good friends insisted I go out one night. I almost said no. I met my husband that night. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's not into you. And if he pursued you right now, it would be just to get you into bed, then disappear. So what would you rather happen, moving on before sex or after?

I know dating is tough. Don't take it personally and know that it's a numbers game. You are one person closer to meeting the right one.

Op. Yeah thanks. I think he was just interested in me for sex, and when I didn't sleep with him casually, he figured he better not pursue it. I guess that's better than if he pretended to like me just to sleep with me, but still......feeling rejected.

I was blasé and chipper and acted like it was totally normal to just go our separate ways after the date, so for all he knows I feel the same way, but still.....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You could win him over with sex.

But....where would that go if he isn't interested in me....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You could win him over with sex.

But....where would that go if he isn't interested in me....

After you put the brakes on, he may've wondered if you were into him. And then on your last date maybe something told him that you're not, even if that's not true. So he put his guard up and gave up.

Maybe that's what happened.

Tell us about the text exchange. If he's not into you at all he would not have texted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You could win him over with sex.

But....where would that go if he isn't interested in me....

After you put the brakes on, he may've wondered if you were into him. And then on your last date maybe something told him that you're not, even if that's not true. So he put his guard up and gave up.

Maybe that's what happened.

Tell us about the text exchange. If he's not into you at all he would not have texted.

Op here. Maybe. I think he's just a decent guy who thought the polite thing to do would be to text something friendly after dissing me. Are you a man or a woman?

He just asked if I'd gotten home safely and said he'd had a good time. I said yes, got home, thanks, etc. we exchanged a couple generic comments about the bar we'd gone to after dinner. He kinda ended it because s last text didn't beg a response.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You could win him over with sex.

But....where would that go if he isn't interested in me....

After you put the brakes on, he may've wondered if you were into him. And then on your last date maybe something told him that you're not, even if that's not true. So he put his guard up and gave up.

Maybe that's what happened.

Tell us about the text exchange. If he's not into you at all he would not have texted.

Op here. Maybe. I think he's just a decent guy who thought the polite thing to do would be to text something friendly after dissing me. Are you a man or a woman?

He just asked if I'd gotten home safely and said he'd had a good time. I said yes, got home, thanks, etc. we exchanged a couple generic comments about the bar we'd gone to after dinner. He kinda ended it because s last text didn't beg a response.

I'm a married man. Haven't dated in a while...

It's possible there's more in store for you two. You won't know if you don't try.

But if your gut is telling you to move on, you should. There are plenty of guys out there who will be easier to read after four dates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Went out with a guy four times. We fooled around a little but did not have sex on dates two and three (I think he was trying to sleep with me on date 3 but I put the brakes on that). Date four he kissed me goodnight very chastley (cheek), claimed he was tired, and walked me back to my car.

That was last Friday and nothing but one friendly text exchange since then (initiated by him). He hasn't asked me out and I don't think he will, since he didn't ask me over Friday night.

If I were a man, I could ask him out and pursue him and try to win him over.

As a woman, I know realistically he just isn't into me and I need to move on rather than try to pursue him.

If we're not having sex by the third date, I'm not talking to you afterward.

Grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's not into you. And if he pursued you right now, it would be just to get you into bed, then disappear. So what would you rather happen, moving on before sex or after?

I know dating is tough. Don't take it personally and know that it's a numbers game. You are one person closer to meeting the right one.

Op. Yeah thanks. I think he was just interested in me for sex, and when I didn't sleep with him casually, he figured he better not pursue it. I guess that's better than if he pretended to like me just to sleep with me, but still......feeling rejected.

I was blasé and chipper and acted like it was totally normal to just go our separate ways after the date, so for all he knows I feel the same way, but still.....

Listen to you complain. You're not rejecting yourself, you're rejecting him. YOU'RE the one who wants to play hard to get. He's being honest about his intention. YOU'RE not.

Go waste someone else's time on eharmony.com or in a church basement.

[Anonymous]

I'm not playing hard to get.

I'm just want to get to know someone well before sleeping with him. I don't want to sleep with someone too soon and then find out later he's a jerk or doesn't like me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not playing hard to get.

I'm just want to get to know someone well before sleeping with him. I don't want to sleep with someone too soon and then find out later he's a jerk or doesn't like me.

Oh poor you. You sound like a teenager. No relationship lasts forever and you're not entitled to any specific length of a relationship, be it long or short. You're lucky if this guy sticks around for another date, with the way you're treating him. If you treated me this way, I'd never talk to you again.

If you're not attracted to him, find someone else's time to waste.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not playing hard to get.

I'm just want to get to know someone well before sleeping with him. I don't want to sleep with someone too soon and then find out later he's a jerk or doesn't like me.

Yes you are playing too hard to get. You're not an 18 year old virgin I assume. You waited too long, and he moved on. I'm a guy and I'd do the same if I was dating a woman late 20's or above.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not playing hard to get.

I'm just want to get to know someone well before sleeping with him. I don't want to sleep with someone too soon and then find out later he's a jerk or doesn't like me.

Married guy here again.

Don't pay attention to the jerk, except for the fact that lots of guys will be moving on if you don't put out.

Your feelings are fine, but they may make it harder to really get to know guys as some will be moving on.