Hate being a woman in the the dating scene

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You could win him over with sex.

But....where would that go if he isn't interested in me....

After you put the brakes on, he may've wondered if you were into him. And then on your last date maybe something told him that you're not, even if that's not true. So he put his guard up and gave up.

Maybe that's what happened.

Tell us about the text exchange. If he's not into you at all he would not have texted.

Op here. Maybe. I think he's just a decent guy who thought the polite thing to do would be to text something friendly after dissing me. Are you a man or a woman?

He just asked if I'd gotten home safely and said he'd had a good time. I said yes, got home, thanks, etc. we exchanged a couple generic comments about the bar we'd gone to after dinner. He kinda ended it because s last text didn't beg a response.

I'm a married man. Haven't dated in a while...

It's possible there's more in store for you two. You won't know if you don't try.

But if your gut is telling you to move on, you should. There are plenty of guys out there who will be easier to read after four dates.

That's interesting. My friends are very much all "he's not that into you." How would I "try"? I don't feel comfortable asking out a guy generally, much less a guy who knows he probably could have gotten me to go home with him since I had the date before but didn't even try.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
That's interesting. My friends are very much all "he's not that into you." How would I "try"? I don't feel comfortable asking out a guy generally, much less a guy who knows he probably could have gotten me to go home with him since I had the date before but didn't even try.

You're a mental mess, full of contradictory thoughts and feelings. Obviously you don't leave your comfort zone much, which is why you have trouble relating to today's modern man and modern relationships.

Time to chin up, honey, and take some risks before your next suitor has to dust off your vagina before using it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not playing hard to get.

I'm just want to get to know someone well before sleeping with him. I don't want to sleep with someone too soon and then find out later he's a jerk or doesn't like me.

Married guy here again.

Don't pay attention to the jerk, except for the fact that lots of guys will be moving on if you don't put out.

Your feelings are fine, but they may make it harder to really get to know guys as some will be moving on.

Thanks. Maybe....but I've been dating for a while and not sleeping with a guy early on has never lead to a guy dissing me after a fourth date. I feel like most guys try to sleep with girls on the third date. I always don't quite let that happen but do other stuff... And other guys I've dated have waited until I was ready.

I've actually never had this happen before. Usually If I get to a third or fourth date with a guy, it's turned into a relationship if I wanted it to (and I tend not to say yes to third or fourth dates unless I am into a guy).

How old are you guys I wonder? I feel like people who came of age in the 80s and earlier are more likely to sleep with people by the third date than people who were teenagers in the 90s and later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You could win him over with sex.

But....where would that go if he isn't interested in me....

After you put the brakes on, he may've wondered if you were into him. And then on your last date maybe something told him that you're not, even if that's not true. So he put his guard up and gave up.

Maybe that's what happened.

Tell us about the text exchange. If he's not into you at all he would not have texted.

Op here. Maybe. I think he's just a decent guy who thought the polite thing to do would be to text something friendly after dissing me. Are you a man or a woman?

He just asked if I'd gotten home safely and said he'd had a good time. I said yes, got home, thanks, etc. we exchanged a couple generic comments about the bar we'd gone to after dinner. He kinda ended it because s last text didn't beg a response.

I'm a married man. Haven't dated in a while...

It's possible there's more in store for you two. You won't know if you don't try.

But if your gut is telling you to move on, you should. There are plenty of guys out there who will be easier to read after four dates.

That's interesting. My friends are very much all "he's not that into you." How would I "try"? I don't feel comfortable asking out a guy generally, much less a guy who knows he probably could have gotten me to go home with him since I had the date before but didn't even try.

Your friends are probably right. But if part of you wants to text him just do it. Ask if he wants to go out again. You might be surprised. What do you have to lose?

He's into you somewhat. He went out with you again after you put the brakes on...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not playing hard to get.

I'm just want to get to know someone well before sleeping with him. I don't want to sleep with someone too soon and then find out later he's a jerk or doesn't like me.

Married guy here again.

Don't pay attention to the jerk, except for the fact that lots of guys will be moving on if you don't put out.

Your feelings are fine, but they may make it harder to really get to know guys as some will be moving on.

Thanks. Maybe....but I've been dating for a while and not sleeping with a guy early on has never lead to a guy dissing me after a fourth date. I feel like most guys try to sleep with girls on the third date. I always don't quite let that happen but do other stuff... And other guys I've dated have waited until I was ready.

I've actually never had this happen before. Usually If I get to a third or fourth date with a guy, it's turned into a relationship if I wanted it to (and I tend not to say yes to third or fourth dates unless I am into a guy).

How old are you guys I wonder? I feel like people who came of age in the 80s and earlier are more likely to sleep with people by the third date than people who were teenagers in the 90s and later.

I'm in my early 30s.

Never? Then maybe you're not a good match for each other and you should just move on.

[Anonymous]

Op here. Maybe if I don't hear from him in a few days or so, I will text him and ask how his Xmas was? But not ask him out? We are both in in different cities right now with our families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Maybe if I don't hear from him in a few days or so, I will text him and ask how his Xmas was? But not ask him out? We are both in in different cities right now with our families.

Do whatever feels right to you. Personally, I wouldn't beat around the bush.

[Anonymous]

you sound like a teenager...

[Anonymous]

Yes, it is so difficult being a woman in the dating scene.

Except for getting everything you want, if and when you want it.

[Anonymous]

Early 30's and acting like a teenager. They guy is probably thinking you're not that into him if you still aren't putting out.

[Anonymous]

Dudes here lie like rugs about all this third date fucking so ignore that. A decent guy who is interested in more than just bending you over will wait until you feel comfortable.

[Anonymous]

You have to get over the "rejected" feeling. He doesn't really know you, so he can't really reject you. He is trying to find someone that fits into the movie of his life, and you aren't it. Same for you. Not everyone is meant to be cast in that part.

It's like finding out that Indiana Jones was supposed to be Tom Selleck (Magnum PI) instead of Harrison Ford. But can you imagine that part with Tom instead of Harrison?

So realize your worth and know that someone out there is looking for someone exactly like you. And keep dating until you find them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it is so difficult being a woman in the dating scene.

Except for getting everything you want, if and when you want it.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dudes here lie like rugs about all this third date fucking so ignore that. A decent guy who is interested in more than just bending you over will wait until you feel comfortable.

Op here. Yeah, that's pretty much been my experience so far....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dudes here lie like rugs about all this third date fucking so ignore that. A decent guy who is interested in more than just bending you over will wait until you feel comfortable.

No.. It will make him think.. if she can't decide on something like this easily, what about other decisions in life? Maybe that's why she's in her 30's and still not married.