DH comment to me after visiting inlaws

[Anonymous]

DH and I have been married for 7 years and his parents live 45 minutes away so we see them a fair amount. It's no secret that I don't really like his mother for various reasons but 99% of the time I am pleasant and just go with the flow. One time years ago I told her off. Anyway, when we got home last night DH said "good job at my parents". It seems like such a weird thing to say like I'm auditioning for something or on a job interview, also kind of condescending g. Am I wrong?

[Anonymous]

I think he was just recognizing that it's difficult for you to be there. I think he meant it as a compliment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think he was just recognizing that it's difficult for you to be there. I think he meant it as a compliment.

Yup, and that he appreciated you making the effort to get along with his mother for the day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think he was just recognizing that it's difficult for you to be there. I think he meant it as a compliment.

This. Don't over analyze.

[Anonymous]

Ok thanks. It made me feel like he is watching and evaluating me. I am one to overthink though!

[Anonymous]

He is subtlety letting you know not to cross that line again.

[Anonymous]

My dh and I say this too - we're just recognizing that it can be hard and we appreciate the other trying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think he was just recognizing that it's difficult for you to be there. I think he meant it as a compliment.

Yup, and that he appreciated you making the effort to get along with his mother for the day.

+1

He's grateful. I have had my DH say similar things to me. It has been a long road.

[Anonymous]

It's his awkward show of appreciation. Smile and move on.

[Anonymous]

Bit condescending, though, isn't it? If instead he had said, "I appreciate all you did at my parents," that would have worked better. This sounds like he thinks he has all the power in the relationship and is complimenting you as one would a puppy, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bit condescending, though, isn't it? If instead he had said, "I appreciate all you did at my parents," that would have worked better. This sounds like he thinks he has all the power in the relationship and is complimenting you as one would a puppy, etc.

Seriously? Not everyone is able to use just the right words. Give credit for intention and tone of voice when delivered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bit condescending, though, isn't it? If instead he had said, "I appreciate all you did at my parents," that would have worked better. This sounds like he thinks he has all the power in the relationship and is complimenting you as one would a puppy, etc.

There's always one.

[Anonymous]

I would be so, so happy if my DH said this to me. Any kind of show of appreciation of how much effort it takes to deal with his parents would be so, so welcome.

Please stop looking a gift horse in the mouth. Geez.

[Anonymous]

Why are you asking people here? How would we know? Ask your husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think he was just recognizing that it's difficult for you to be there. I think he meant it as a compliment.

Yup, and that he appreciated you making the effort to get along with his mother for the day.

+1

He's grateful. I have had my DH say similar things to me. It has been a long road.

To me, it sounds as though he notices when his parents are being irritating and is giving you credit for powering through. I'd much prefer that to someone who doesn't see what the problem is.