Do your spouses tell you about/invite you to work functions like Christmas party?

[Anonymous]

I went to one Christmas party with DH when we were dating and never again. My girlfriend just called to see when we were going dress shopping for our husbands parties and I embarrassingly had to tell her I don't attend them. My DH doesn't really have like the people in his small office so I think it's more he doesn't want to waste a night with them
He never wants to go to any work events though. Anyone else's spouse like this? We are newlyweds so I had visions of Christmas parties and fancy party dresses. Is that outdated? Or still the norm? Happy thanksgiving!

[Anonymous]

Depends on so many things! Industry mostly I think.

I was shocked recently to find out that my girlfriend wasn't invited to her husband's work holiday party (company not paying for spouses, apparently). He works at a wildly successful hedge fund full of pretty much all men... they really want to party without spouses at a sausage fest? So odd.

[Anonymous]

My DH's company has a very fancy Xmas party and yes, we go every year. But he hates it and would happily skip the whole thing but has to go make an appearance.

I've worked at a few different companies. Some did the huge fancy party, some had an employees-only party at the office to keep costs down. My current employer has a large on-site party and DH is invited but he doesn't really enjoy it (it's very crowded) so most of the time he skips it. Last year my DD (11) came with me.

[Anonymous]

I have gone once to work thing with DH. He frequently comes to mind but we have a ton of fancy fun events. His official parties are lame. We do go to things that his colleagues organize.

[Anonymous]

We have a potluck at work that costs $20 to attend. So yeah I don't attend and spouses aren't welcome.

[Anonymous]

My job doesn't do them or I would invite mine, but he does not invite me to his. He's kinda a dick like that.

[Anonymous]

My husband ONLY goes to the holiday parties that I can attend with him. We host his company's party at our house (small company). Some of the parties are fancy and I buy a cute dress on principle. Others are pretty boring, but it's politically important for him to be there, so we go and leave as early as we can.

[Anonymous]

I almost never go. About once a year, I can't get out of it and end up having to show up - usually for a holiday party. Now that my kids are older and don't need a sitter, I'll probably have to go more often. But, they are so boring that I only go because I am asked to go. These people are not my friends and I get tired of small talk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a potluck at work that costs $20 to attend. So yeah I don't attend and spouses aren't welcome.

omg, that is NUTS! How crappy of them! I don't blame you for skipping it, it sounds horrible!

[Anonymous]

When we were both in law firms, spouses were kind of necessary (HR demanded it actually, lol).

But DH is in the corporate world now, and I've only been invited to DH's office events once in 12 years. Budget restrictions. Nobody's allowed to have fun anymore, it seems.

[Anonymous]

His company went from huge blowouts to small dinners hosted by team by their leadership. Spouses not invited for finance reasons.
My company went from huge blowouts to still large parties. We now get 2 drink tickets instead of open bar, guests are $75/ea, and they no longer offer cab rides home like they used to.

We went to his blowout party once. He goes to the dinners since he's senior enough he has to. We do not go to my company's party. Both in government contracting and the money isn't what it used to be

[Anonymous]

I would personally encourage him to attend these social work functions and bring you along.

Even though he may not be too fond of the people he works with, it shows goodwill for him to participate in these social events.

If it seems like the issue is more that the seems to not want to bring you along, then I would find out why.

[Anonymous]

I went to holiday parties with DH while we were still dating. Since then the parties have gotten smaller and are for employees only-budget cuts.

[Anonymous]

I don't usually attend my DH's party, no particular reason. But this year he is getting a big award, so I'm going, LOL. They changed the venue from the last time I went. I said something about it being at ABC and he said "no XYZ. It hasn't been at ABC for at least 3 years!" Whoops!

[Anonymous]

Oh, forgot about my party, LOL. We've gone to mine before, but this year we will be out of the country, darn the luck =)