Give me a game plan for getting through a 3 day visit. How do I handle SIL who makes passive aggressive remarks, comments about my parenting, or invites friends over and then hangs out with them in another room and completely ignores me. |
I'm confrontational, so I would pull her aside and say "Gayle, you keep making mpassive aggressive remarks, commenting on my parenting, and then ignoring me by hanging out with your friends in another room after that. If you tell me what I've done to upset you so much, I can explain or apologize as appropriate, but if you continue on this way, our relationship will never improve. It would be nice for everyone in the family to get along, don't you think?" |
Sounds like a dream come true. Bring a good book and hang out. My in-laws follow me from room to room expecting hours of conversation about nothing. |
Make yourself a deal - 1 point for every passive aggressive thing she does. If you get to 10 points, you get a massage. |
Read a book or go to a matinee movie! This is an introvert's dream visit, lol! |
Kindle, wine hid in a coffee cup, shopping at boutiques, pedicure, sex, facial, I think you got it made. Lucky you! |
Mine, too! UGH! I would love for them to ignore me, just for a little bit! Sorry, OP. I suggest just ignoring the behavior you don't like, and always taking the high road and being the pleasant one. It sounds like she's just not going to foster a good relationship with you, but so what? Life is too short to worry about someone like that. Just always say hello and be pleasant, and if she's rude, that's her problem, not yours. |
OP here, How do I get out of the house without 20 questions about where I am going, why I need to be going etc... |
go for a walk.
Do you bring kids or a dog? they really help me..go to the park, go for a walk. go buy coffee, volunteer for a grocery run. what about your spouse? |
Really? You said they ignore you. Just tell your spouse your leaving and as your walking out the door tell your IL's you have an errand to run and you'll be back at x time. You are an adult you don't need an explanation assuming however you are not skipping out on a family event (meal or whatever). |
Just do whatever you're going to do, as long as you and DH have discussed it first and he knows he's in charge of your kids or whatever. "I'm going to go get coffee at that cute place on Baker Street. Does anyone want me to bring something back?" "The weather's so nice, I'm going to take a walk and finally put some mileage on my FitBit. Kevin is watching the kids. See you in 30!" "Kohl's is having a sale, and I'm going to stock up on kid's clothes. Does anyone want me to pick up something while I'm there?" It's not a request for permission to go. It's an announcement that you're going. |
"I'm going for a walk around the neighborhood." And then just ... walk out. |
Handle them by booking them a hotel room, at their expense. Life is too short to be treated like shit in your own home. Time to set some boundaries and let them know what you won't tolerate. |
In your home or theirs? If in yours, I'd invite your friends over and ignore her. If in theirs, I'd totally look up things I want to do around there, and leave in the morning and go do them. |
If it isn't your house then it's odd that you would care. ~ there's some real gaps here in what you are revealing, Op. |