Uncomfortable with sister's request

[Anonymous]

My sister has invited me to her home birth.
The backstory is my mother was in the room with me for the birth of my children. Sadly, our mother is no longer with us. I was in the room with my other sister.
I truly want to carry on the tradition and be a support to my sister.
I think what's bothering me is that it seems like it's going to be very "Earthy crunchy" with a birthing pool and her husband is going to be in the pool with her etc., and I think it might be just to intimate for me.
I'm not sure I'd be much help.
Have no idea how to communicate this without hurting feelings.

[Anonymous]

Too bad Op - you don't get to decide the details. You should do it. Your sister wants you there. Deal with it.

[Anonymous]

Don't do it.

[Anonymous]

Do it

[Anonymous]

In the end, there's not much more intimate than being there for the birth, whether it happens in a birthing pool or not.

[Anonymous]

If she were giving birth in a hospital wouldn't her husband be there? What's the difference?

You should go. View it as you learning about a new culture you don't know much about. Except that you know about birthing a baby, and having family support while you do that, and now you get the opportunity to be family support for someone while THEY do it.

[Anonymous]

If you're uncomfortable then don't do it. You don't want to make the situation tense or awkward.

I'm pretty crunchy but I'm not sure I would do it. Maybe be in the house but different room. You can then be immediately available to see the baby and sis.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you're uncomfortable then don't do it. You don't want to make the situation tense or awkward.

I'm pretty crunchy but I'm not sure I would do it. Maybe be in the house but different room. You can then be immediately available to see the baby and sis.

This is what I'm most worried about.
Sister and her husband are very much free spirits and I love them both for that dearly. I'm sure my "prudish" will come through and I don't want to ruin things for them, but at the same time I don't want to be a jerk and say no can do.

[Anonymous]

How would this be different from being in the room when your other sister gave birth? I think you should do it, it means a lot to her. I cannOT imagine having family in the room during delivery, but your family evidently does that, so you should continue the tradition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she were giving birth in a hospital wouldn't her husband be there? What's the difference?

You should go. View it as you learning about a new culture you don't know much about. Except that you know about birthing a baby, and having family support while you do that, and now you get the opportunity to be family support for someone while THEY do it.

When I was with my other sister I and her husband stayed up by her head for the most part. I don't to me it's different than being in the pool together, and her sitting on his lap.

Your right about it being a learning experience I tend to be slightly more conservative, and I have never witnessed a home birth.

[Anonymous]

I think you should talk to her about your reservations. It's your sister, not a stranger. I imagine that she is spending a lot of time playing things over and over in her head and probably would love the chance to talk about some of them with you. I imagine it won't come as a surprise to her that you are more reserved than she is, right? What you are imagining might be different than what is planned. Maybe just talking things through will be beneficial for both of you.

[Anonymous]

If you both lost your mother, then this is important to her. It's an honor to be asked to share in the birth experience of someone you love. Put away your preconceived notions and be there for HER. This is not about you.

[Anonymous]

Disgusting, which trailer park

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're uncomfortable then don't do it. You don't want to make the situation tense or awkward.

I'm pretty crunchy but I'm not sure I would do it. Maybe be in the house but different room. You can then be immediately available to see the baby and sis.

This is what I'm most worried about.
Sister and her husband are very much free spirits and I love them both for that dearly. I'm sure my "prudish" will come through and I don't want to ruin things for them, but at the same time I don't want to be a jerk and say no can do.

Talk to your sister and tell her this! If you let her know you have reservations because you don't want to spoil anything, perhaps you can work something out. If it were me, I would go though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In the end, there's not much more intimate than being there for the birth, whether it happens in a birthing pool or not.

+1 It's not more intimate at home, just more personal than the hospital. If you'd agree to go to the hospital, I think you should go to her house. If you would say no to a hospital birth, then you can say no to this too.