Uncomfortable with sister's request

[Anonymous]

Tell her what you wrote in your original post just leave out the "earthy crunchy" bit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you should talk to her about your reservations. It's your sister, not a stranger. I imagine that she is spending a lot of time playing things over and over in her head and probably would love the chance to talk about some of them with you. I imagine it won't come as a surprise to her that you are more reserved than she is, right? What you are imagining might be different than what is planned. Maybe just talking things through will be beneficial for both of you.

+1 talk to her about it. See if you can develop an approach that makes you more comfortable.

I had both sisters in with me. One preferred to not "see anything". She stayed by my head. The other would've done the delivery if they let her. She was with the dr watching the delivery. I didn't think my delivery was all about me. It was also about the comfort of the people I wanted to be there as well.

[Anonymous]

If my sister told me no I'd be done with her. Are you ok with being cut off from her

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In the end, there's not much more intimate than being there for the birth, whether it happens in a birthing pool or not.

+1

I doubt he will be naked or that they will shared a meal of raw placenta in front of you.

[Anonymous]

I say you go. Ask her for her doula or midwifes contact info upfront. Then contact them and explain your hesitations so they are aware. On the day of, you can help your sister labor, and when things get intense, she won't even know whose in the room. You can help the doula by fetching things outside of the room. I'm sure someone would appreciate a person in the kitchen tidying up and keeping Dad fed. Your sister will be hungry when it's all said and done, you can help with that.

You don't have to strip down and get in the tub with her. You can be a support without catching the baby.

I would do ALL your research (reading about home births, talking to people, educating yourself about it 100%) before you even think of saying no. After all that, if you still feel "too prude" come clean to your sister. But I would guess she will be hurt.

[Anonymous]

I agree, talk to the midwife. See what you can be doing while they are in the pool if you're still uncomfortable. I doubt they'll be stark naked in the pool.

For me, it would be more important to be there. Talk to your sister, and her midwife or doula. Your sister has asked you to be there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you both lost your mother, then this is important to her. It's an honor to be asked to share in the birth experience of someone you love. Put away your preconceived notions and be there for HER. This is not about you.

This. I can't imagine how sad it would be go to through having your first child without your mom. Be there for her but I'd talk we here ahead of time about how they expect it to go, what kind of support you can offer.

[Anonymous]

I'm not the type to wind up in someone's birthing room, but a few years I wound up seeing a good friend give birth. It wasn't at all planned. She had a very long labor, wanted friends to pass the time in the hospital -- and then it just happened quickly at the end. I expected to be really freaked out by what I would see - but the weirdness went away in about 10 minutes and instead it was one of the most incredible experiences of my lifetime. I'd encourage you to go.

[Anonymous]

What is so "earthy crunchy" about a birthing pool? He is not going to be naked, and she will probably be wearing a top. I think you have some misconceptions. Why not, at the very least, take a tour of the facility?

[Anonymous]

Its unclear - is she going to have a doula and a midwife? If so, you are kind of superfluous and can probably float in and out of the background without drawing too much attention to your presence (or lack of it). I had my sons in a birth pool at home. I had very little sense of what was going on around me once things got intense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is so "earthy crunchy" about a birthing pool? He is not going to be naked, and she will probably be wearing a top. I think you have some misconceptions. Why not, at the very least, take a tour of the facility?

Agree with this. I've seen so many pictures of dad's in birthing pools and half the time they're wearing a t-shirt as well as shorts. Shorts are a given. Do you avoid the beach?

[Anonymous]

You should be there so someone can call 911 if needed.

[Anonymous]

Oh my goodness. I don't see how you could possibly deny your sister's request. This is her birth. Don't try to control the process. Just be there to hold her hand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is so "earthy crunchy" about a birthing pool? He is not going to be naked, and she will probably be wearing a top. I think you have some misconceptions. Why not, at the very least, take a tour of the facility?

The facility is her house - I'm sure she's seen it already. But I disagree with the "she will probably be wearing a top" - that's maybe a 50/50 chance there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should be there so someone can call 911 if needed.

+1