Married female: jealous of AP's wife?

[Anonymous]

I have been in a long term affair with a coworker for a long time. Even though I'm younger and in better shape that my AP's wife, I'm still jealous of her! I know she's a victim in all of this but I still feel that way and have fantasize of telling her about my relationship with her husband. Just fantasy and I would never ever do that. I wonder if it's normal to feel that way.

[Anonymous]

Just gonna go grab my popcorn. I'll be right back . . .

[Anonymous]

I'll get my chair. Hold on..

[Anonymous]

Likely normal. Seriously. If you are in this type of romantic situation, then you likely have low self-esteem. And people with low self-esteem envy others often. Might be worth trying to boost self worth.

[Anonymous]

Some might argue its normal to feel like a piece of shit for cheating on your husband and potentially ruining someone else's marriage but you obviously don't so I guess you're not normal.

[Anonymous]

Maybe he'll leave his wife for you. Then you'll have your scumbag all to yourself. And you should be jealous of the wife. She's way cooler than you.

[Anonymous]

If he'll do it with you, he'll do it to you. Just a thought if he ever does leave his wife ...

[Anonymous]

Yaas! Just what I needed for my lazy Sunday some DCUM messiness.
Got my chair and popcorn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have been in a long term affair with a coworker for a long time. Even though I'm younger and in better shape that my AP's wife, I'm still jealous of her! I know she's a victim in all of this but I still feel that way and have fantasize of telling her about my relationship with her husband. Just fantasy and I would never ever do that. I wonder if it's normal to feel that way.

Yeah, just do her a favor and let her know, so you can have the loser all to yourself!

[Anonymous]

OP: I felt this way too. I'm not younger than his wife, but in way better shape and far prettier. We also shared a very strong emotional connection, something that by his own admission was missing from his marital relationship. The 'affair' such as it was has ended, although in our case it was a lot more emotional than physical. The emotional connection I had with him made me extremely jealous of his wife - the fact that he didn't connect with her emotionally made things worse for me, not better, with me frequently thinking "why could it not have been me". We didn't have a future together, and had to break it off, but I still feel slightly triumphant that he felt for me what he didn't feel for her.... But in the end, she has him, permanently, while I don't. That always kills any feelings of 'victory' that I might have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: I felt this way too. I'm not younger than his wife, but in way better shape and far prettier. We also shared a very strong emotional connection, something that by his own admission was missing from his marital relationship. The 'affair' such as it was has ended, although in our case it was a lot more emotional than physical. The emotional connection I had with him made me extremely jealous of his wife - the fact that he didn't connect with her emotionally made things worse for me, not better, with me frequently thinking "why could it not have been me". We didn't have a future together, and had to break it off, but I still feel slightly triumphant that he felt for me what he didn't feel for her.... But in the end, she has him, permanently, while I don't. That always kills any feelings of 'victory' that I might have.

If it "would have been you", you'd be busy raising his kids and daily chores, work and whatnot. Not a lot of time for emotional connection during that period in life. Especially if the scumbag is out screwing women who devotes ALL their free time to boosting his ego.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: I felt this way too. I'm not younger than his wife, but in way better shape and far prettier. We also shared a very strong emotional connection, something that by his own admission was missing from his marital relationship. The 'affair' such as it was has ended, although in our case it was a lot more emotional than physical. The emotional connection I had with him made me extremely jealous of his wife - the fact that he didn't connect with her emotionally made things worse for me, not better, with me frequently thinking "why could it not have been me". We didn't have a future together, and had to break it off, but I still feel slightly triumphant that he felt for me what he didn't feel for her.... But in the end, she has him, permanently, while I don't. That always kills any feelings of 'victory' that I might have.

That's what he told you and led you to believe. It often works when people (both men and women) seek to hold on to an affair.

[Anonymous]

Ofcourse it's normal OP, she seemingly has something that you don't, -him. I say "seemingly" because if he's screwing around with you, then, obviously she doesn't have all of him like she should.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: I felt this way too. I'm not younger than his wife, but in way better shape and far prettier. We also shared a very strong emotional connection, something that by his own admission was missing from his marital relationship. The 'affair' such as it was has ended, although in our case it was a lot more emotional than physical. The emotional connection I had with him made me extremely jealous of his wife - the fact that he didn't connect with her emotionally made things worse for me, not better, with me frequently thinking "why could it not have been me". We didn't have a future together, and had to break it off, but I still feel slightly triumphant that he felt for me what he didn't feel for her.... But in the end, she has him, permanently, while I don't. That always kills any feelings of 'victory' that I might have.

That's what he told you and led you to believe. It often works when people (both men and women) seek to hold on to an affair.

Actually, it can't be a lie, even if he is telling the PP what she wants to hear. A person who connects with their spouse emotionally, by default, doesn't betray their trust by cheating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have been in a long term affair with a coworker for a long time. Even though I'm younger and in better shape that my AP's wife, I'm still jealous of her! I know she's a victim in all of this but I still feel that way and have fantasize of telling her about my relationship with her husband. Just fantasy and I would never ever do that. I wonder if it's normal to feel that way.

Are you single?