Keeps asking to be exclusive

[Anonymous]

This guy I'm dating keeps asking to be exclusive. We have been dating for maybe 6 weeks? I do like him but I think 6 weeks is too soon. I would like to get to know him a little more first. I'm conflicted because I do like him, but I've been hurt in the past. I don't want to wind up in a situation where he splits because he takes my lack of exclusivity as disinterest. He's really a good guy, and I'm not seeing other guys. He's a good guy but there is alway some small doubt of motive. I haven't slept with him and won't until we are are exclusive. He knows this. He has asked and been pushy for exclusivity for about two week now. I'm conflicted.

[Anonymous]

If he asked, you said you weren't ready, and he kept pushing anyway, end it and move on. This is someone who doesn't care about your boundaries and comfort level when it interferes with what he wants. Of course, if you didn't really give an answer when he asked and kept pushing it off, you should give him a clear answer instead of asking him to read between the lines.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This guy I'm dating keeps asking to be exclusive. We have been dating for maybe 6 weeks? I do like him but I think 6 weeks is too soon. I would like to get to know him a little more first. I'm conflicted because I do like him, but I've been hurt in the past. I don't want to wind up in a situation where he splits because he takes my lack of exclusivity as disinterest. He's really a good guy, and I'm not seeing other guys. He's a good guy but there is alway some small doubt of motive. I haven't slept with him and won't until we are are exclusive. He knows this. He has asked and been pushy for exclusivity for about two week now. I'm conflicted.

just tell him the truth; that you want to play the field and you are not ready of exclusivity. It is not fair to him that you are stringing him along while you are waiting to see if you can find something better.

[Anonymous]

Maybe he is only pretending to want exclusivity so you would sleep with him, since you made it clear you wouldn't otherwise. He's probably just horny and will dump you after you give it up to him.

[Anonymous]

Agree guy wants to sleep with you

[Anonymous]

Dump him and find some player who will tell you everything you want to hear.....6 weeks and you are not sleeping with him? Good luck

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree guy wants to sleep with you

OP here. I really don't think it's just sex but could be wrong. He asked me to be his date for Thanksgiving. I'm pretty much going to meet his whole family. I've meet his two brothers already. I've known him for around 2 months. He tried to get me to go on a date for like two weeks before I said yes. Maybe I'm being naive but word around is he a serial relationship guy. He doesn't sleep around, but that could be false.

He doesn't do it so pushy. He will jokingly say " so are you going to be my girlfriend yet?" " Can I introduce you as my girlfriend at X dinner". I normally just laugh it off but I can tell he wants a real answer. I think I'm just going to take the plunge and say yes. It still doesn't mean I have to sleep with him right away.

To pp: I'm not looking to play the field. I'm not talking to any guy but him. I'm just trying to be cautious and not rush.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dump him and find some player who will tell you everything you want to hear.....6 weeks and you are not sleeping with him? Good luck

There is nothing wrong with not having sex by 6 weeks. Our society puts too much pressure on having sex early. Then people wonder why the relationship or marriage fails after sex becomes boring and unfulfilling. What's so wrong with establishing a level of emotional connection before developing a sexual one?
Nothing!

[Anonymous]

Is it that you don't want to be exclusive or you don't think you are ready to sleep with him yet? To me, when you say you don't want to be exclusive you are fine if he is still dating and/or sleeping with other woman? Are you keeping other options open yourself because you aren't sure you want to focus on him? If your answer is yes to both questions than you are right not to agree to exclusivity at this point and you lose him over that you really weren't that compatible to begin with.

If you really don't want to date other people than be up front that you aren't dating anyone else, you aren't looking to date anyone else, you. You are focused on getting to know him and seeing if you guys have what it takes to be in a relationship with each other ..you want to wait until you feel you could make things work in a relationship before you say you are exclusive and at some point become intimate. See what he says. If he realizes exclusive doesn't mean ready to have sex that day, he still may say he doesn't want to date anyone else and wants to be exclusive knowing that doesn't mean you will be sleeping together right away. At some point, if it was just about easy sex, he could be on tinder and meet someone that wants to sleep with him and doesn't want a relationship or doesn't make having a relationship a requirement to sleeping with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it that you don't want to be exclusive or you don't think you are ready to sleep with him yet? To me, when you say you don't want to be exclusive you are fine if he is still dating and/or sleeping with other woman? Are you keeping other options open yourself because you aren't sure you want to focus on him? If your answer is yes to both questions than you are right not to agree to exclusivity at this point and you lose him over that you really weren't that compatible to begin with.

If you really don't want to date other people than be up front that you aren't dating anyone else, you aren't looking to date anyone else, you. You are focused on getting to know him and seeing if you guys have what it takes to be in a relationship with each other ..you want to wait until you feel you could make things work in a relationship before you say you are exclusive and at some point become intimate. See what he says. If he realizes exclusive doesn't mean ready to have sex that day, he still may say he doesn't want to date anyone else and wants to be exclusive knowing that doesn't mean you will be sleeping together right away. At some point, if it was just about easy sex, he could be on tinder and meet someone that wants to sleep with him and doesn't want a relationship or doesn't make having a relationship a requirement to sleeping with him.

OP here. I wrote in my post that I do not have interest in other men at this point. He knows I'm not seeing a anyone. He isn't either, as far as I know. I would prefer he only see me but I can't tell him what to do. I wouldn't mind exclusivity but I don't want to rush. My last ex wanted to rush everything and I says yes because I didn't know any better. It ended badly, and I'm trying to be smart this time around.

[Anonymous]

He sounds like a desperate loser. Bail.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree guy wants to sleep with you

OP here. I really don't think it's just sex but could be wrong. He asked me to be his date for Thanksgiving. I'm pretty much going to meet his whole family. I've meet his two brothers already. I've known him for around 2 months. He tried to get me to go on a date for like two weeks before I said yes. Maybe I'm being naive but word around is he a serial relationship guy. He doesn't sleep around, but that could be false.

He doesn't do it so pushy. He will jokingly say " so are you going to be my girlfriend yet?" " Can I introduce you as my girlfriend at X dinner". I normally just laugh it off but I can tell he wants a real answer. I think I'm just going to take the plunge and say yes. It still doesn't mean I have to sleep with him right away.

To pp: I'm not looking to play the field. I'm not talking to any guy but him. I'm just trying to be cautious and not rush.

I've been married forever and the Thanksgiving/are you my GF yet stuff makes me want to bolt.

My instincts say "run."

He's pushing you where you don't want to go. Very, very bad sign. Way to soon.

Break it off an go your parents' house for Thanksgiving.

Then Thank Good you're free to date anyone else.

[Anonymous]

^^
"and" sorry

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree guy wants to sleep with you

OP here. I really don't think it's just sex but could be wrong. He asked me to be his date for Thanksgiving. I'm pretty much going to meet his whole family. I've meet his two brothers already. I've known him for around 2 months. He tried to get me to go on a date for like two weeks before I said yes. Maybe I'm being naive but word around is he a serial relationship guy. He doesn't sleep around, but that could be false.

He doesn't do it so pushy. He will jokingly say " so are you going to be my girlfriend yet?" " Can I introduce you as my girlfriend at X dinner". I normally just laugh it off but I can tell he wants a real answer. I think I'm just going to take the plunge and say yes. It still doesn't mean I have to sleep with him right away.

To pp: I'm not looking to play the field. I'm not talking to any guy but him. I'm just trying to be cautious and not rush.

I've been married forever and the Thanksgiving/are you my GF yet stuff makes me want to bolt.

My instincts say "run."

He's pushing you where you don't want to go. Very, very bad sign. Way to soon.

Break it off an go your parents' house for Thanksgiving.

Then Thank Good you're free to date anyone else.

+1
Way too soon to meet the whole family in my opinion. I'd be inclined to think he wants this so he doesn't have to deal with the questions during the holiday season.

OP, you clearly aren't comfortable with this. if he is uncomfortable with the pace, he's not for you.
You are wise to want to move slowly this time.

[Anonymous]

Anytime a person is pressuring you to change your mind on something important you should be wary. You aren't ready and that's OK. He can wait or move along.