Mom Cliques. I had no idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ll never understand people who think any group of friends is a clique, and that everybody has to be invited to everything. If you have a dinner party with 3 other couples, are you a clique because you didn’t invite every couple you know? If you have a sleepover and only invite 2 kids, are they a clique? No. Get a grip.

I don't think anyone is saying that. It sounds like OP is hurt because this specific group felt like a clique that excluded her. I don't think she included all the nuance as to why she felt that way. But there was something about this specific group that seemed exclusionary, probably because she thought she was good enough friends with the other women in the group to have been invited but wasn't. Only OP knows enough about the situation to know.

The problem is that OP asserted that these women were being clique-ish and she was hurt, and then a bunch of posters decided OP was overreacting and it obviously wasn't a clique and oh do you think anytime people get together with friends it's a clique?!?! People are assuming all this stuff about the situation, including what OP is like and the backstory of her interactions with other people in this group, based on nothing. Probably just projecting their own issues onto it.

My assumption is that if the situation seemed exclusionary to OP, it probably was. Sure, OP might be overreacting, but also might not. No way to know, so might as well just take OP at her word because what is the point in bickering with her about her own experience. I don't know her life.

Um, no. People are reacting to OP's posts, which say a lot about what she's like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Regardless of what the full details of the scenario actually were, it boils down to this:

If your first reaction was judgment rather than empathy, or at least sympathy, you are a part of the "Mean Girl" stereotype.

I understand that some PPs were rude in their delivery, but why wouldn't it make OP feel BETTER, not worse, to know that the majority of those hearing about this encounter, including Jeff, do NOT think these women were a clique, mean, or exclusionary?

But a few were really rabid about it, created massive analyses about OP’s character and experience.

Probably because of OP’s delivery! LMAO! They felt soo awkward about it! Bus stop will be INTERESTING! Emoji!
Why so brash? And how can OP know how they felt? What sane person would text a follow up?

I mean, I hope OP is trolling, or maybe had the experience but is being tongue in cheek, but ugh.

The irony of you drawing all kinds of conclusions about OP based on word choice in a brief DCUM post, but then claiming that OP could not possibly intuit whether there was an awkward vibe based on an in person interaction with women she knows/has met before. You and so many others are acting like you know everything about OP's character based on a few posts here, but when she says "they looked uber awkward" you're freaking out and saying she couldn't possibly KNOW that and what is her evidence.

No. I'm permitted to bring both common sense and my life experiences to interpret OP's or any other post. All signs point to OP being socially inept and immature and her therefore misinterpreting the situation and/or creating the awkwardness herself.

(Also, even if there was some palpable awkwardness it still does not mean these women are a clique or that OP was excluded.)

You are filtering very little info through your own biases. And if you are defending being unkind on the internet and tearing down OP because you deem her immature or socially inept, well, perhaps you should look in the mirror. Mean and immature on your part.

DP. I’ve read and reread the OP at least 5 times now, trying really hard to understand what some of you are trying to defend, and each time she sounds worse and worse. She might be a lovely person in real life and is just not good at relaying a story, but as far as this thread goes, her choice of words just don’t make a great case for her. If that makes me mean and immature, so be it.

We aren't trying to "defend" OP so much as ask that if you have helpful advice for someone you think is struggling socially, why can you not relay that in a kinder manner. Some of the posts on this thread are harsh and unnecessary. Just because it's anonymous you unload?

And some of you are really making some assumptions that seem...overstepping. That is all.

But OP didn’t ask for advice. She came out swinging, with that stupid green emoji and ALL CAPS and four ????s in a row. If the responses seemed harsh, they were just responding in kind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Regardless of what the full details of the scenario actually were, it boils down to this:

If your first reaction was judgment rather than empathy, or at least sympathy, you are a part of the "Mean Girl" stereotype.

I understand that some PPs were rude in their delivery, but why wouldn't it make OP feel BETTER, not worse, to know that the majority of those hearing about this encounter, including Jeff, do NOT think these women were a clique, mean, or exclusionary?

But a few were really rabid about it, created massive analyses about OP’s character and experience.

Probably because of OP’s delivery! LMAO! They felt soo awkward about it! Bus stop will be INTERESTING! Emoji!
Why so brash? And how can OP know how they felt? What sane person would text a follow up?

I mean, I hope OP is trolling, or maybe had the experience but is being tongue in cheek, but ugh.

The irony of you drawing all kinds of conclusions about OP based on word choice in a brief DCUM post, but then claiming that OP could not possibly intuit whether there was an awkward vibe based on an in person interaction with women she knows/has met before. You and so many others are acting like you know everything about OP's character based on a few posts here, but when she says "they looked uber awkward" you're freaking out and saying she couldn't possibly KNOW that and what is her evidence.

No. I'm permitted to bring both common sense and my life experiences to interpret OP's or any other post. All signs point to OP being socially inept and immature and her therefore misinterpreting the situation and/or creating the awkwardness herself.

(Also, even if there was some palpable awkwardness it still does not mean these women are a clique or that OP was excluded.)

You are filtering very little info through your own biases. And if you are defending being unkind on the internet and tearing down OP because you deem her immature or socially inept, well, perhaps you should look in the mirror. Mean and immature on your part.

DP. I’ve read and reread the OP at least 5 times now, trying really hard to understand what some of you are trying to defend, and each time she sounds worse and worse. She might be a lovely person in real life and is just not good at relaying a story, but as far as this thread goes, her choice of words just don’t make a great case for her. If that makes me mean and immature, so be it.

We aren't trying to "defend" OP so much as ask that if you have helpful advice for someone you think is struggling socially, why can you not relay that in a kinder manner. Some of the posts on this thread are harsh and unnecessary. Just because it's anonymous you unload?

And some of you are really making some assumptions that seem...overstepping. That is all.

But OP didn’t ask for advice. She came out swinging, with that stupid green emoji and ALL CAPS and four ????s in a row. If the responses seemed harsh, they were just responding in kind.

The mom organizing the clique has re-entered the chat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Regardless of what the full details of the scenario actually were, it boils down to this:

If your first reaction was judgment rather than empathy, or at least sympathy, you are a part of the "Mean Girl" stereotype.

I understand that some PPs were rude in their delivery, but why wouldn't it make OP feel BETTER, not worse, to know that the majority of those hearing about this encounter, including Jeff, do NOT think these women were a clique, mean, or exclusionary?

But a few were really rabid about it, created massive analyses about OP’s character and experience.

Probably because of OP’s delivery! LMAO! They felt soo awkward about it! Bus stop will be INTERESTING! Emoji!
Why so brash? And how can OP know how they felt? What sane person would text a follow up?

I mean, I hope OP is trolling, or maybe had the experience but is being tongue in cheek, but ugh.

The irony of you drawing all kinds of conclusions about OP based on word choice in a brief DCUM post, but then claiming that OP could not possibly intuit whether there was an awkward vibe based on an in person interaction with women she knows/has met before. You and so many others are acting like you know everything about OP's character based on a few posts here, but when she says "they looked uber awkward" you're freaking out and saying she couldn't possibly KNOW that and what is her evidence.

No. I'm permitted to bring both common sense and my life experiences to interpret OP's or any other post. All signs point to OP being socially inept and immature and her therefore misinterpreting the situation and/or creating the awkwardness herself.

(Also, even if there was some palpable awkwardness it still does not mean these women are a clique or that OP was excluded.)

You are filtering very little info through your own biases. And if you are defending being unkind on the internet and tearing down OP because you deem her immature or socially inept, well, perhaps you should look in the mirror. Mean and immature on your part.

DP. I’ve read and reread the OP at least 5 times now, trying really hard to understand what some of you are trying to defend, and each time she sounds worse and worse. She might be a lovely person in real life and is just not good at relaying a story, but as far as this thread goes, her choice of words just don’t make a great case for her. If that makes me mean and immature, so be it.

We aren't trying to "defend" OP so much as ask that if you have helpful advice for someone you think is struggling socially, why can you not relay that in a kinder manner. Some of the posts on this thread are harsh and unnecessary. Just because it's anonymous you unload?

And some of you are really making some assumptions that seem...overstepping. That is all.

But OP didn’t ask for advice. She came out swinging, with that stupid green emoji and ALL CAPS and four ????s in a row. If the responses seemed harsh, they were just responding in kind.

The mom organizing the clique has re-entered the chat.

DP. Since when is a group of women convening automatically a clique? Ciique has lost all meaning at this point. It's all or nothing I guess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Regardless of what the full details of the scenario actually were, it boils down to this:

If your first reaction was judgment rather than empathy, or at least sympathy, you are a part of the "Mean Girl" stereotype.

I understand that some PPs were rude in their delivery, but why wouldn't it make OP feel BETTER, not worse, to know that the majority of those hearing about this encounter, including Jeff, do NOT think these women were a clique, mean, or exclusionary?

But a few were really rabid about it, created massive analyses about OP’s character and experience.

Probably because of OP’s delivery! LMAO! They felt soo awkward about it! Bus stop will be INTERESTING! Emoji!
Why so brash? And how can OP know how they felt? What sane person would text a follow up?

I mean, I hope OP is trolling, or maybe had the experience but is being tongue in cheek, but ugh.

The irony of you drawing all kinds of conclusions about OP based on word choice in a brief DCUM post, but then claiming that OP could not possibly intuit whether there was an awkward vibe based on an in person interaction with women she knows/has met before. You and so many others are acting like you know everything about OP's character based on a few posts here, but when she says "they looked uber awkward" you're freaking out and saying she couldn't possibly KNOW that and what is her evidence.

No. I'm permitted to bring both common sense and my life experiences to interpret OP's or any other post. All signs point to OP being socially inept and immature and her therefore misinterpreting the situation and/or creating the awkwardness herself.

(Also, even if there was some palpable awkwardness it still does not mean these women are a clique or that OP was excluded.)

You are filtering very little info through your own biases. And if you are defending being unkind on the internet and tearing down OP because you deem her immature or socially inept, well, perhaps you should look in the mirror. Mean and immature on your part.

DP. I’ve read and reread the OP at least 5 times now, trying really hard to understand what some of you are trying to defend, and each time she sounds worse and worse. She might be a lovely person in real life and is just not good at relaying a story, but as far as this thread goes, her choice of words just don’t make a great case for her. If that makes me mean and immature, so be it.

We aren't trying to "defend" OP so much as ask that if you have helpful advice for someone you think is struggling socially, why can you not relay that in a kinder manner. Some of the posts on this thread are harsh and unnecessary. Just because it's anonymous you unload?

And some of you are really making some assumptions that seem...overstepping. That is all.

But OP didn’t ask for advice. She came out swinging, with that stupid green emoji and ALL CAPS and four ????s in a row. If the responses seemed harsh, they were just responding in kind.

The mom organizing the clique has re-entered the chat.

DP. Since when is a group of women convening automatically a clique? Ciique has lost all meaning at this point. It's all or nothing I guess.

Well if a group of women socialize they are apparently now a clique and doing something wrong by not inviting everyone they know in their contacts list.

[Anonymous]

What is the difference between a group of friends who have children at the same elementary school and a clique?

Our neighbors just had a discussion about this because we have 11 families with a total of 28 kids on our block that all have kids at the elementary school. (6 families have kids in the 3rd grade!). We see each other daily, walking to and from school and hanging out on the block while kids ride bikes and play. Naturally, happy hours and dinners and excursions get planned and birthdays get celebrated. We plan Ladies Nights a few times a year where the mom's go out to dinner. A parent of a child who doesn't live in our neighborhood made a (seemingly) passive aggressive comment about our "exclusive neighborhood clique" at a soccer game. We were all genuinely baffled and it sparked an interesting conversation. We feel that it is just proximity and genuinely enjoying our neighborhood but where do you draw the line? You can't possibly invite every mom at the school to every social gathering??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Regardless of what the full details of the scenario actually were, it boils down to this:

If your first reaction was judgment rather than empathy, or at least sympathy, you are a part of the "Mean Girl" stereotype.

Sympathy for what? OP didn’t post about it making her sad, she explicitly posted to make fun of them and get others to pile on making fun of other women and the mom clique stereotype (which she gave zero information in her post that would make this a mom clique, other than it was a group of mothers).

Many of us have the emotional intelligence to understand that OP was obviously posting out of hurt feelings at not having been included in this gathering. This was obvious from her post, as well as follow ups. I also don't see her attacking or making fun of these other women other than to call it a "clique" (which as has been discussed ad nauseum in this thread, it probably was not). She doesn't make fun of them for being at the winery or getting together or being friends or whatever. She's just clearly hurt not to have been invited and to realize that these women get together like this without her. That's why at least some of us were sympathetic, because we could see she was reacting from a place of hurt. I posted early on that the text she sent was definitely a bad idea and she should have just played it off like it was fine, but I also understand that when people feel excluded or ostracized in some way, they don't always think rationally.

But she didn't make fun of these women. She lashed out a bit. Not great, but not unrelateable -- I feel like I'd handle that better at this stage in my life, but I could imagine doing exactly what OP did (meaning the overreaction to seeing these women together) back in my 20s. You live and learn.

She drip dripped information and bit by bit we find out more. They don't all live in her neighborhood, some of them are in her kids (plural) classes and they are all SAHM. She's been trolling all along and people are still passionately defending her attempt to get women to go after other women who dared to meet midday without her as if its some giant conspiracy. So, another WOHM vs SAHM argument in disguise?

DP than the one you’re responding to and I think your post gets at why I’ve been so drawn to this thread.

I’m really bothered by the misogyny that is the basis of this post. OP didn’t simply say wow I’m bummed, I wish I had an invite. She described the situation in a negative light (clique doesn’t have a particularly good connotation) and continued to dribble out information as if how dare these women have the gall to meet up in a big group and socialize on a Friday. And then other posters jumped on the bandwagon adding comments that these women are drunks, frivolous SAHMs with nothing better to do, that this is why they’d rather talk to dads, that middle aged moms are the worst at being annoying to serve food, etc.

I am someone who often socializes in big groups of women. I love girls’ trips and mom’s nights out. I have text chains going at any given time with my closest girlfriends. I truly value my female friendships.

I feel bad for women who have so internalized societal misogyny that their knee jerk reaction is to think of it as a bad thing, lash out in a text, and then post online asking people to share negative stories about women. And the posters who are adding on and basically making the middle age equivalent to teen girl comments about “oh I’m not like other girls, I’m a guys’ girl.” Umm okay. Have fun hating other women and hanging with dads all the time.

Translation: I love mom cliques.

But seriously, the posts calling moms drunks are whatever are not defensible. But most of the posts in support of OP are not these. They are aimed at people who made mean comments about OP based on little information. You are honing in on a small subset.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Regardless of what the full details of the scenario actually were, it boils down to this:

If your first reaction was judgment rather than empathy, or at least sympathy, you are a part of the "Mean Girl" stereotype.

I understand that some PPs were rude in their delivery, but why wouldn't it make OP feel BETTER, not worse, to know that the majority of those hearing about this encounter, including Jeff, do NOT think these women were a clique, mean, or exclusionary?

But a few were really rabid about it, created massive analyses about OP’s character and experience.

Probably because of OP’s delivery! LMAO! They felt soo awkward about it! Bus stop will be INTERESTING! Emoji!
Why so brash? And how can OP know how they felt? What sane person would text a follow up?

I mean, I hope OP is trolling, or maybe had the experience but is being tongue in cheek, but ugh.

The irony of you drawing all kinds of conclusions about OP based on word choice in a brief DCUM post, but then claiming that OP could not possibly intuit whether there was an awkward vibe based on an in person interaction with women she knows/has met before. You and so many others are acting like you know everything about OP's character based on a few posts here, but when she says "they looked uber awkward" you're freaking out and saying she couldn't possibly KNOW that and what is her evidence.

No. I'm permitted to bring both common sense and my life experiences to interpret OP's or any other post. All signs point to OP being socially inept and immature and her therefore misinterpreting the situation and/or creating the awkwardness herself.

(Also, even if there was some palpable awkwardness it still does not mean these women are a clique or that OP was excluded.)

You are filtering very little info through your own biases. And if you are defending being unkind on the internet and tearing down OP because you deem her immature or socially inept, well, perhaps you should look in the mirror. Mean and immature on your part.

DP. I’ve read and reread the OP at least 5 times now, trying really hard to understand what some of you are trying to defend, and each time she sounds worse and worse. She might be a lovely person in real life and is just not good at relaying a story, but as far as this thread goes, her choice of words just don’t make a great case for her. If that makes me mean and immature, so be it.

We aren't trying to "defend" OP so much as ask that if you have helpful advice for someone you think is struggling socially, why can you not relay that in a kinder manner. Some of the posts on this thread are harsh and unnecessary. Just because it's anonymous you unload?

And some of you are really making some assumptions that seem...overstepping. That is all.

But OP didn’t ask for advice. She came out swinging, with that stupid green emoji and ALL CAPS and four ????s in a row. If the responses seemed harsh, they were just responding in kind.

The mom organizing the clique has re-entered the chat.

DP. Since when is a group of women convening automatically a clique? Ciique has lost all meaning at this point. It's all or nothing I guess.

Well if a group of women socialize they are apparently now a clique and doing something wrong by not inviting everyone they know in their contacts list.

What is the end game here? To prevent women from getting together?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is the difference between a group of friends who have children at the same elementary school and a clique?

Our neighbors just had a discussion about this because we have 11 families with a total of 28 kids on our block that all have kids at the elementary school. (6 families have kids in the 3rd grade!). We see each other daily, walking to and from school and hanging out on the block while kids ride bikes and play. Naturally, happy hours and dinners and excursions get planned and birthdays get celebrated. We plan Ladies Nights a few times a year where the mom's go out to dinner. A parent of a child who doesn't live in our neighborhood made a (seemingly) passive aggressive comment about our "exclusive neighborhood clique" at a soccer game. We were all genuinely baffled and it sparked an interesting conversation. We feel that it is just proximity and genuinely enjoying our neighborhood but where do you draw the line? You can't possibly invite every mom at the school to every social gathering??

Not disagreeing PP, but how does the non-neighbor lady KNOW about your neighborhood activities? And at soccer are you all bunched together in an excluding way? That's the difference. I get that it's hard not to chit chat with people outside your group, but maybe sit next to a non-neighbor here and there?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Regardless of what the full details of the scenario actually were, it boils down to this:

If your first reaction was judgment rather than empathy, or at least sympathy, you are a part of the "Mean Girl" stereotype.

I understand that some PPs were rude in their delivery, but why wouldn't it make OP feel BETTER, not worse, to know that the majority of those hearing about this encounter, including Jeff, do NOT think these women were a clique, mean, or exclusionary?

But a few were really rabid about it, created massive analyses about OP’s character and experience.

Probably because of OP’s delivery! LMAO! They felt soo awkward about it! Bus stop will be INTERESTING! Emoji!
Why so brash? And how can OP know how they felt? What sane person would text a follow up?

I mean, I hope OP is trolling, or maybe had the experience but is being tongue in cheek, but ugh.

The irony of you drawing all kinds of conclusions about OP based on word choice in a brief DCUM post, but then claiming that OP could not possibly intuit whether there was an awkward vibe based on an in person interaction with women she knows/has met before. You and so many others are acting like you know everything about OP's character based on a few posts here, but when she says "they looked uber awkward" you're freaking out and saying she couldn't possibly KNOW that and what is her evidence.

No. I'm permitted to bring both common sense and my life experiences to interpret OP's or any other post. All signs point to OP being socially inept and immature and her therefore misinterpreting the situation and/or creating the awkwardness herself.

(Also, even if there was some palpable awkwardness it still does not mean these women are a clique or that OP was excluded.)

You are filtering very little info through your own biases. And if you are defending being unkind on the internet and tearing down OP because you deem her immature or socially inept, well, perhaps you should look in the mirror. Mean and immature on your part.

DP. I’ve read and reread the OP at least 5 times now, trying really hard to understand what some of you are trying to defend, and each time she sounds worse and worse. She might be a lovely person in real life and is just not good at relaying a story, but as far as this thread goes, her choice of words just don’t make a great case for her. If that makes me mean and immature, so be it.

We aren't trying to "defend" OP so much as ask that if you have helpful advice for someone you think is struggling socially, why can you not relay that in a kinder manner. Some of the posts on this thread are harsh and unnecessary. Just because it's anonymous you unload?

And some of you are really making some assumptions that seem...overstepping. That is all.

But OP didn’t ask for advice. She came out swinging, with that stupid green emoji and ALL CAPS and four ????s in a row. If the responses seemed harsh, they were just responding in kind.

DP. Look, I think OP overreacted to the group gathering and made some assumptions about it (that she'd been excluded on purpose, that it was a regular thing) that are likely not right. I have said as much in other posts in this thread. But I can at least understand that her overreaction was probably a very human response to feeling left out. To me that's such a universal feeling that I can have empathy for her even as I tell her that her text wasn't a great idea and try to put this in perspective for her.

But you are having an extreme overreaction to the style of an anonymous DCUM post. I think she was trying to be lighthearted and funny about it. I don't really get the green emoji, but also DCUM has somewhat limited emoji offerings. I just can't imagine being so provoked by the way she posted to have the extremely strong, negative reaction some of you are having.

If OP was being a little overreactive in her response to seeing those women, so are many of you. At least OP actually knows those women and is part of the same community. You're flipping out on a total stranger over an emoji and some punctuation. Look in the mirror.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Regardless of what the full details of the scenario actually were, it boils down to this:

If your first reaction was judgment rather than empathy, or at least sympathy, you are a part of the "Mean Girl" stereotype.

I understand that some PPs were rude in their delivery, but why wouldn't it make OP feel BETTER, not worse, to know that the majority of those hearing about this encounter, including Jeff, do NOT think these women were a clique, mean, or exclusionary?

But a few were really rabid about it, created massive analyses about OP’s character and experience.

Probably because of OP’s delivery! LMAO! They felt soo awkward about it! Bus stop will be INTERESTING! Emoji!
Why so brash? And how can OP know how they felt? What sane person would text a follow up?

I mean, I hope OP is trolling, or maybe had the experience but is being tongue in cheek, but ugh.

The irony of you drawing all kinds of conclusions about OP based on word choice in a brief DCUM post, but then claiming that OP could not possibly intuit whether there was an awkward vibe based on an in person interaction with women she knows/has met before. You and so many others are acting like you know everything about OP's character based on a few posts here, but when she says "they looked uber awkward" you're freaking out and saying she couldn't possibly KNOW that and what is her evidence.

No. I'm permitted to bring both common sense and my life experiences to interpret OP's or any other post. All signs point to OP being socially inept and immature and her therefore misinterpreting the situation and/or creating the awkwardness herself.

(Also, even if there was some palpable awkwardness it still does not mean these women are a clique or that OP was excluded.)

You are filtering very little info through your own biases. And if you are defending being unkind on the internet and tearing down OP because you deem her immature or socially inept, well, perhaps you should look in the mirror. Mean and immature on your part.

DP. I’ve read and reread the OP at least 5 times now, trying really hard to understand what some of you are trying to defend, and each time she sounds worse and worse. She might be a lovely person in real life and is just not good at relaying a story, but as far as this thread goes, her choice of words just don’t make a great case for her. If that makes me mean and immature, so be it.

We aren't trying to "defend" OP so much as ask that if you have helpful advice for someone you think is struggling socially, why can you not relay that in a kinder manner. Some of the posts on this thread are harsh and unnecessary. Just because it's anonymous you unload?

And some of you are really making some assumptions that seem...overstepping. That is all.

But OP didn’t ask for advice. She came out swinging, with that stupid green emoji and ALL CAPS and four ????s in a row. If the responses seemed harsh, they were just responding in kind.

REALLY ???? THE HORROR !!!!

[Anonymous]

Ack, I meant hard to talk to people outside your circle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Regardless of what the full details of the scenario actually were, it boils down to this:

If your first reaction was judgment rather than empathy, or at least sympathy, you are a part of the "Mean Girl" stereotype.

I understand that some PPs were rude in their delivery, but why wouldn't it make OP feel BETTER, not worse, to know that the majority of those hearing about this encounter, including Jeff, do NOT think these women were a clique, mean, or exclusionary?

But a few were really rabid about it, created massive analyses about OP’s character and experience.

Probably because of OP’s delivery! LMAO! They felt soo awkward about it! Bus stop will be INTERESTING! Emoji!
Why so brash? And how can OP know how they felt? What sane person would text a follow up?

I mean, I hope OP is trolling, or maybe had the experience but is being tongue in cheek, but ugh.

The irony of you drawing all kinds of conclusions about OP based on word choice in a brief DCUM post, but then claiming that OP could not possibly intuit whether there was an awkward vibe based on an in person interaction with women she knows/has met before. You and so many others are acting like you know everything about OP's character based on a few posts here, but when she says "they looked uber awkward" you're freaking out and saying she couldn't possibly KNOW that and what is her evidence.

No. I'm permitted to bring both common sense and my life experiences to interpret OP's or any other post. All signs point to OP being socially inept and immature and her therefore misinterpreting the situation and/or creating the awkwardness herself.

(Also, even if there was some palpable awkwardness it still does not mean these women are a clique or that OP was excluded.)

You are filtering very little info through your own biases. And if you are defending being unkind on the internet and tearing down OP because you deem her immature or socially inept, well, perhaps you should look in the mirror. Mean and immature on your part.

DP. I’ve read and reread the OP at least 5 times now, trying really hard to understand what some of you are trying to defend, and each time she sounds worse and worse. She might be a lovely person in real life and is just not good at relaying a story, but as far as this thread goes, her choice of words just don’t make a great case for her. If that makes me mean and immature, so be it.

We aren't trying to "defend" OP so much as ask that if you have helpful advice for someone you think is struggling socially, why can you not relay that in a kinder manner. Some of the posts on this thread are harsh and unnecessary. Just because it's anonymous you unload?

And some of you are really making some assumptions that seem...overstepping. That is all.

But OP didn’t ask for advice. She came out swinging, with that stupid green emoji and ALL CAPS and four ????s in a row. If the responses seemed harsh, they were just responding in kind.

REALLY ???? THE HORROR !!!!

I know, right? So juvenile.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The mean girl pta vibe is heavy handed here. The defensive posture in favor of this group and antagonistic approach to op is wild.

+1, we actually don't get much info from OP here, certainly not enough to draw conclusions. The people who are assuming good intent by this group and hurling insults at OP are simply showing themselves up.

Pot, meet kettle.

It always fascinates me when people go after people doing the exact same thing they are doing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is wild! Did OP ever explain if she was friends with several of these women or not???

OP Here—Yes. Two of the moms that live in my subdivision are always invited to all of the events I host and I have been invited to their events as well. They live in my subdivision. There were three other moms that I am always friendly with, no issues.

So...you knew 1/3 of the people at the event...got it.