Love is Blind Season 3 - Dallas

[Anonymous]

The cuties clip happened at 4:30. Dinner reservation is at 7pm. That means they wouldn’t be eating for another 3 hours. I don’t buy Coles “save your appetite”. A small snack is appropriate at this time before a late dinner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Such a bummer trying to watch a relaxing lighthearted show and then getting triggered because Z is exactly like my mom. Imagine growing up when everything you say is purposefully twisted because the other person is so damaged and insecure. I am sorry for what she went through but I hope she never has kids.

Or, and I'm just tossing this out as a suggestion, she could get therapy and iron out her issues, become more secure in herself and less controlling and be a GREAT mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://time.com/6231990/love-is-blind-zanab-cole-cuties/

I think this is a very honest take on the cuties scene. I stand by my opinion that Cole is an immature ass. He didn’t realize the impact his words had. Not just in individual moments, but cumulatively. When you take all the comments together (you’re a 9 to Colleen’s 10, you’re not my usual type, you’re going to eat 2?, etc.) and you say them to someone with insecurity issues, you’re inflicting real damage. I don’t think it was intentional, but he needs to learn how to filter.

I read this article honestly with an open mind as I went into yesterday's episodes with this essential interpretation of Zanab and have left those episodes convinced she is abusive.

You know what this article leaves out VERY conveniently? The same thing Zanab leaves out. The fact that when alerted to the fact that she had only eaten a banana that day he becomes audibly and visibly concerned, asks why she didn't eat food offered earlier and reiterates his question of why when brushed off.

THAT moment is the crux of intent in the scene. If he was trying to get at her, he would not have reacted that way.

He’s definitely surprised by her not eating more that day. But he doesn’t sound concerned to me. Instead he immediately jumps to the old “trying to fit into your wedding dress” crap. You can practically hear the internal eye roll when she says “something like that.” Because the “something like that” leaves out “for YOU!” She’s doing it because she’s not his type and she’s a 9 and all those comments. He doesn’t see it. He doesn’t make those connections. I get that. Doesn’t make her a liar.

And to be clear, I’m not defending the way she talks to him. The nagging and negativity is absolutely an issue. She’s the other half of what went wrong. But her bad behavior does not excuse his, and vice versa.

NO he does not. He says, and I'm going to quote it based on the captions, because the distortion here is shocking to me that you guys are leaving out critical parts of the exchange:

Zanab: I've only had a banana and a scoop of peanut butter today

<Cole is goofing around making hand gestures illustrating the size of the big dinner they are planning to go to, then he stops and pauses after her comment sinks in and immediately drops the fun>

Cole: You only had a banana today??? <I add the question marks because he seems genuinely concerned to me

Zaneb: mmm-hmm

Cole: Why?

Zaneb: Of I could tell you but I probably shouldn't

Cole: I offered you a poke bowl

Zanab: I know you did, but we had that last night.

<Cole taking a sip of coffee, swallows quickly as if he suddenly gets it>

Cole: OH are you getting a wedding dress...

Zaneb: Something like that

Cole: ....wedding dress bod? (being obviously kind of silly)

How on earth are you reading this? He brings up “the wedding dress bod.” What critical parts am I missing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://time.com/6231990/love-is-blind-zanab-cole-cuties/

I think this is a very honest take on the cuties scene. I stand by my opinion that Cole is an immature ass. He didn’t realize the impact his words had. Not just in individual moments, but cumulatively. When you take all the comments together (you’re a 9 to Colleen’s 10, you’re not my usual type, you’re going to eat 2?, etc.) and you say them to someone with insecurity issues, you’re inflicting real damage. I don’t think it was intentional, but he needs to learn how to filter.

I read this article honestly with an open mind as I went into yesterday's episodes with this essential interpretation of Zanab and have left those episodes convinced she is abusive.

You know what this article leaves out VERY conveniently? The same thing Zanab leaves out. The fact that when alerted to the fact that she had only eaten a banana that day he becomes audibly and visibly concerned, asks why she didn't eat food offered earlier and reiterates his question of why when brushed off.

THAT moment is the crux of intent in the scene. If he was trying to get at her, he would not have reacted that way.

He’s definitely surprised by her not eating more that day. But he doesn’t sound concerned to me. Instead he immediately jumps to the old “trying to fit into your wedding dress” crap. You can practically hear the internal eye roll when she says “something like that.” Because the “something like that” leaves out “for YOU!” She’s doing it because she’s not his type and she’s a 9 and all those comments. He doesn’t see it. He doesn’t make those connections. I get that. Doesn’t make her a liar.

And to be clear, I’m not defending the way she talks to him. The nagging and negativity is absolutely an issue. She’s the other half of what went wrong. But her bad behavior does not excuse his, and vice versa.

NO he does not. He says, and I'm going to quote it based on the captions, because the distortion here is shocking to me that you guys are leaving out critical parts of the exchange:

Zanab: I've only had a banana and a scoop of peanut butter today

<Cole is goofing around making hand gestures illustrating the size of the big dinner they are planning to go to, then he stops and pauses after her comment sinks in and immediately drops the fun>

Cole: You only had a banana today??? <I add the question marks because he seems genuinely concerned to me

Zaneb: mmm-hmm

Cole: Why?

Zaneb: Of I could tell you but I probably shouldn't

Cole: I offered you a poke bowl

Zanab: I know you did, but we had that last night.

<Cole taking a sip of coffee, swallows quickly as if he suddenly gets it>

Cole: OH are you getting a wedding dress...

Zaneb: Something like that

Cole: ....wedding dress bod? (being obviously kind of silly)

How on earth are you reading this? He brings up “the wedding dress bod.” What critical parts am I missing?

Your comment implied he immediately pivoted to the wedding dress bod as if that had been on his mind and he had been thinking about her wedding dress bod. He did not immediately pivot to that, he started thinking about how much they ate that day and if she'd had opportunities for food and brought up the meal. Then he clearly pauses and was thinking trying to figure out why on earth she wouldn't be eating after making that cryptic comment and then he thinks of wedding dress bod like it makes sense.

We can speculate on whether she herself had been talking to him about how she'd look in her wedding dress, something I think is likely based on how frequently she would make put down comments about her body and face in front of him in the scenes we did see.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Such a bummer trying to watch a relaxing lighthearted show and then getting triggered because Z is exactly like my mom. Imagine growing up when everything you say is purposefully twisted because the other person is so damaged and insecure. I am sorry for what she went through but I hope she never has kids.

Or, and I'm just tossing this out as a suggestion, she could get therapy and iron out her issues, become more secure in herself and less controlling and be a GREAT mom.

This will work if she's just insecure. If she's a straight up liar (cole getting the girl's number might be an example of this) then she's BPD or something and should not.

Personally I am like the pp and was quite triggered by this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the cities scenes was completely ambiguous and could be exactly how they each represented it as seen through their own lens.

The real deciding factor would be whether he actually asked someone for their number at the bachelor party because one of them is lying about that.

I honestly believe him. The guys' bachelor party involved no girls. If he had done anything like that one of the other guys would have sold him out that they had gone out afterwards. All of them looked confused.

Another thing that REALLY stood out to me at the wedding AND at the reunion was how Zay was not particularly emotional EXCEPT being nervous about walking down the aisle. She was nervous, like she had a big moment coming up. That was 1000% a planned and rehearsed speech. At the reunion he is saying she's lying and she's not even getting that upset. He is on one side crying, and his emotion came off extraordinarily genuine to me both day of wedding and reunion, and she is coldly just burying him deeper. Is someone who's confidence is completely shattered able to cooly dig the knife in again and again and again? In my opinion no.

I honestly believe Zay knew she wasn't going to marry him, decided she wanted to be the Deepti of the season and executed a pretty calculated plan to make it happen. I was pretty upset honestly after watching the finale being really triggered by just how much her behavior is like an immediate family member who is extremely emotionally abusive while also being extremely successful and no one outside our family would know she is that way. Cole is not a perfect person, but she is the abusive person in that relationship. And in a calculated and intentional way that was honestly really distressing to watch.

I noticed the same thing re Zanab before the wedding. And in the convo afterwards with her stepmother. she clearly indicated that it was planned-- she didn't plan to go into her whole diabtribe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://time.com/6231990/love-is-blind-zanab-cole-cuties/

I think this is a very honest take on the cuties scene. I stand by my opinion that Cole is an immature ass. He didn’t realize the impact his words had. Not just in individual moments, but cumulatively. When you take all the comments together (you’re a 9 to Colleen’s 10, you’re not my usual type, you’re going to eat 2?, etc.) and you say them to someone with insecurity issues, you’re inflicting real damage. I don’t think it was intentional, but he needs to learn how to filter.

I read this article honestly with an open mind as I went into yesterday's episodes with this essential interpretation of Zanab and have left those episodes convinced she is abusive.

You know what this article leaves out VERY conveniently? The same thing Zanab leaves out. The fact that when alerted to the fact that she had only eaten a banana that day he becomes audibly and visibly concerned, asks why she didn't eat food offered earlier and reiterates his question of why when brushed off.

THAT moment is the crux of intent in the scene. If he was trying to get at her, he would not have reacted that way.

He’s definitely surprised by her not eating more that day. But he doesn’t sound concerned to me. Instead he immediately jumps to the old “trying to fit into your wedding dress” crap. You can practically hear the internal eye roll when she says “something like that.” Because the “something like that” leaves out “for YOU!” She’s doing it because she’s not his type and she’s a 9 and all those comments. He doesn’t see it. He doesn’t make those connections. I get that. Doesn’t make her a liar.

And to be clear, I’m not defending the way she talks to him. The nagging and negativity is absolutely an issue. She’s the other half of what went wrong. But her bad behavior does not excuse his, and vice versa.

NO he does not. He says, and I'm going to quote it based on the captions, because the distortion here is shocking to me that you guys are leaving out critical parts of the exchange:

Zanab: I've only had a banana and a scoop of peanut butter today

<Cole is goofing around making hand gestures illustrating the size of the big dinner they are planning to go to, then he stops and pauses after her comment sinks in and immediately drops the fun>

Cole: You only had a banana today??? <I add the question marks because he seems genuinely concerned to me

Zaneb: mmm-hmm

Cole: Why?

Zaneb: Of I could tell you but I probably shouldn't

Cole: I offered you a poke bowl

Zanab: I know you did, but we had that last night.

<Cole taking a sip of coffee, swallows quickly as if he suddenly gets it>

Cole: OH are you getting a wedding dress...

Zaneb: Something like that

Cole: ....wedding dress bod? (being obviously kind of silly)

How on earth are you reading this? He brings up “the wedding dress bod.” What critical parts am I missing?

Your comment implied he immediately pivoted to the wedding dress bod as if that had been on his mind and he had been thinking about her wedding dress bod. He did not immediately pivot to that, he started thinking about how much they ate that day and if she'd had opportunities for food and brought up the meal. Then he clearly pauses and was thinking trying to figure out why on earth she wouldn't be eating after making that cryptic comment and then he thinks of wedding dress bod like it makes sense.

We can speculate on whether she herself had been talking to him about how she'd look in her wedding dress, something I think is likely based on how frequently she would make put down comments about her body and face in front of him in the scenes we did see.

Wow, ok. So he didn’t immediately jump to wedding dress bod. I retract that one word. He asked about poke first. The fact stands, he implied she was dieting to fit into a wedding dress, a tired old trope women have been hearing forever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the cities scenes was completely ambiguous and could be exactly how they each represented it as seen through their own lens.

The real deciding factor would be whether he actually asked someone for their number at the bachelor party because one of them is lying about that.

I completely agree. I think Zanab believes she is telling the truth about Cole's comments about what she's eating. Perception is reality. She's insecure given what has transpired between them so if he makes any comment, she hears "you're fat and need to lose weight." I don't believe Cole said anything to intentionally be hurtful or critical. At the end of the day, they were a bad match. I am curious about who is lying about the bachelor party.

I am disappointed that Matt wasn't called out for his explosive anger episodes. Watching Colleen at the reunion was like watching a hostage video with pre-rehearsed lines..."I'm so happy. I'm very happy. I love him so much. We're happy." She looked incredibly uncomfortable and the way he was hovering over her was creepy.

Yes. This 100%!! Anyone else notice that he didn't apologize for being a rag-oholic? He minimized it. In that sense maybe it's good they are living apart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://time.com/6231990/love-is-blind-zanab-cole-cuties/

I think this is a very honest take on the cuties scene. I stand by my opinion that Cole is an immature ass. He didn’t realize the impact his words had. Not just in individual moments, but cumulatively. When you take all the comments together (you’re a 9 to Colleen’s 10, you’re not my usual type, you’re going to eat 2?, etc.) and you say them to someone with insecurity issues, you’re inflicting real damage. I don’t think it was intentional, but he needs to learn how to filter.

I read this article honestly with an open mind as I went into yesterday's episodes with this essential interpretation of Zanab and have left those episodes convinced she is abusive.

You know what this article leaves out VERY conveniently? The same thing Zanab leaves out. The fact that when alerted to the fact that she had only eaten a banana that day he becomes audibly and visibly concerned, asks why she didn't eat food offered earlier and reiterates his question of why when brushed off.

THAT moment is the crux of intent in the scene. If he was trying to get at her, he would not have reacted that way.

He’s definitely surprised by her not eating more that day. But he doesn’t sound concerned to me. Instead he immediately jumps to the old “trying to fit into your wedding dress” crap. You can practically hear the internal eye roll when she says “something like that.” Because the “something like that” leaves out “for YOU!” She’s doing it because she’s not his type and she’s a 9 and all those comments. He doesn’t see it. He doesn’t make those connections. I get that. Doesn’t make her a liar.

And to be clear, I’m not defending the way she talks to him. The nagging and negativity is absolutely an issue. She’s the other half of what went wrong. But her bad behavior does not excuse his, and vice versa.

NO he does not. He says, and I'm going to quote it based on the captions, because the distortion here is shocking to me that you guys are leaving out critical parts of the exchange:

Zanab: I've only had a banana and a scoop of peanut butter today

<Cole is goofing around making hand gestures illustrating the size of the big dinner they are planning to go to, then he stops and pauses after her comment sinks in and immediately drops the fun>

Cole: You only had a banana today??? <I add the question marks because he seems genuinely concerned to me

Zaneb: mmm-hmm

Cole: Why?

Zaneb: Of I could tell you but I probably shouldn't

Cole: I offered you a poke bowl

Zanab: I know you did, but we had that last night.

<Cole taking a sip of coffee, swallows quickly as if he suddenly gets it>

Cole: OH are you getting a wedding dress...

Zaneb: Something like that

Cole: ....wedding dress bod? (being obviously kind of silly)

How on earth are you reading this? He brings up “the wedding dress bod.” What critical parts am I missing?

Your comment implied he immediately pivoted to the wedding dress bod as if that had been on his mind and he had been thinking about her wedding dress bod. He did not immediately pivot to that, he started thinking about how much they ate that day and if she'd had opportunities for food and brought up the meal. Then he clearly pauses and was thinking trying to figure out why on earth she wouldn't be eating after making that cryptic comment and then he thinks of wedding dress bod like it makes sense.

We can speculate on whether she herself had been talking to him about how she'd look in her wedding dress, something I think is likely based on how frequently she would make put down comments about her body and face in front of him in the scenes we did see.

Wow, ok. So he didn’t immediately jump to wedding dress bod. I retract that one word. He asked about poke first. The fact stands, he implied she was dieting to fit into a wedding dress, a tired old trope women have been hearing forever.

You are acting like that is a no big deal clarification but when looking at intent it is an important distinction. He isn't thinking about how she's fat. He's thinking about their giant dinner that night. Then when presented with information that she hasn't eaten he is immediately confused and does not assume she is dieting (which is what someone who was on her about being fat would do) he asks why she didn't eat the food he offered her earlier. She then implies that there is a 'reason' and he sits there and actively thinks about why she would have eaten so little that day. Why would my fiance only have eaten a banana today? Why would she be dieting? Oh maybe she's worried about the wedding dress.

It is important because the way he gets there is logical and it is not based in body shaming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think Cole and Z are a terrible couple. He is way too immature but, I think, she is seriously damaged.

IMO, The "cuties" clip made her look horrible.

Agree 100%

I don't think Zaneb thinks she's lying. I think she believes she's stating things as she believes they were. But the cuties clip makes it VERY clear that she concocts her own stores, hears what she has already decided in her head is what's going on, and then accepts it at fact. It doesn't matter at all what the other person is actually saying, with their words or body language or expressions. Honestly I think she has borderline--her 'splitting' of Cole is classic.

She also disabled comments on her IG. Because the narrative that other people are nearly uniformly telling her are automatically wrong according to the story she's already made up.

I feel really bad for Cole. No he wasn't perfect and was a dumbass at the pool. But he apologized many times. If Zanab wasn't able to move on from that then that's fine, but to say he never apologized is insane. She's so far removed from reality that nothing anyone says would matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://time.com/6231990/love-is-blind-zanab-cole-cuties/

I think this is a very honest take on the cuties scene. I stand by my opinion that Cole is an immature ass. He didn’t realize the impact his words had. Not just in individual moments, but cumulatively. When you take all the comments together (you’re a 9 to Colleen’s 10, you’re not my usual type, you’re going to eat 2?, etc.) and you say them to someone with insecurity issues, you’re inflicting real damage. I don’t think it was intentional, but he needs to learn how to filter.

I read this article honestly with an open mind as I went into yesterday's episodes with this essential interpretation of Zanab and have left those episodes convinced she is abusive.

You know what this article leaves out VERY conveniently? The same thing Zanab leaves out. The fact that when alerted to the fact that she had only eaten a banana that day he becomes audibly and visibly concerned, asks why she didn't eat food offered earlier and reiterates his question of why when brushed off.

THAT moment is the crux of intent in the scene. If he was trying to get at her, he would not have reacted that way.

I don't think Cole did anything wrong related to food, but at that point Zanab had her narrative of who Cole was and took everything either in the worst way possible, or the wrong way.

Yes, I thought it was interesting to see the clip, because he was talking about trying to meet her up with her family, and getting information from her about how to do that, and the next thing she did was complain about how much he talked, and how it was about himself. What? While that may well be the case, that's her response to what would normally be seen as a loving, caring conversation showing that he wants to connect with what's important to her. It seemed very, very cold.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://time.com/6231990/love-is-blind-zanab-cole-cuties/

I think this is a very honest take on the cuties scene. I stand by my opinion that Cole is an immature ass. He didn’t realize the impact his words had. Not just in individual moments, but cumulatively. When you take all the comments together (you’re a 9 to Colleen’s 10, you’re not my usual type, you’re going to eat 2?, etc.) and you say them to someone with insecurity issues, you’re inflicting real damage. I don’t think it was intentional, but he needs to learn how to filter.

I read this article honestly with an open mind as I went into yesterday's episodes with this essential interpretation of Zanab and have left those episodes convinced she is abusive.

You know what this article leaves out VERY conveniently? The same thing Zanab leaves out. The fact that when alerted to the fact that she had only eaten a banana that day he becomes audibly and visibly concerned, asks why she didn't eat food offered earlier and reiterates his question of why when brushed off.

THAT moment is the crux of intent in the scene. If he was trying to get at her, he would not have reacted that way.

He’s definitely surprised by her not eating more that day. But he doesn’t sound concerned to me. Instead he immediately jumps to the old “trying to fit into your wedding dress” crap. You can practically hear the internal eye roll when she says “something like that.” Because the “something like that” leaves out “for YOU!” She’s doing it because she’s not his type and she’s a 9 and all those comments. He doesn’t see it. He doesn’t make those connections. I get that. Doesn’t make her a liar.

And to be clear, I’m not defending the way she talks to him. The nagging and negativity is absolutely an issue. She’s the other half of what went wrong. But her bad behavior does not excuse his, and vice versa.

NO he does not. He says, and I'm going to quote it based on the captions, because the distortion here is shocking to me that you guys are leaving out critical parts of the exchange:

Zanab: I've only had a banana and a scoop of peanut butter today

<Cole is goofing around making hand gestures illustrating the size of the big dinner they are planning to go to, then he stops and pauses after her comment sinks in and immediately drops the fun>

Cole: You only had a banana today??? <I add the question marks because he seems genuinely concerned to me

Zaneb: mmm-hmm

Cole: Why?

Zaneb: Of I could tell you but I probably shouldn't

Cole: I offered you a poke bowl

Zanab: I know you did, but we had that last night.

<Cole taking a sip of coffee, swallows quickly as if he suddenly gets it>

Cole: OH are you getting a wedding dress...

Zaneb: Something like that

Cole: ....wedding dress bod? (being obviously kind of silly)

How on earth are you reading this? He brings up “the wedding dress bod.” What critical parts am I missing?

Your comment implied he immediately pivoted to the wedding dress bod as if that had been on his mind and he had been thinking about her wedding dress bod. He did not immediately pivot to that, he started thinking about how much they ate that day and if she'd had opportunities for food and brought up the meal. Then he clearly pauses and was thinking trying to figure out why on earth she wouldn't be eating after making that cryptic comment and then he thinks of wedding dress bod like it makes sense.

We can speculate on whether she herself had been talking to him about how she'd look in her wedding dress, something I think is likely based on how frequently she would make put down comments about her body and face in front of him in the scenes we did see.

Wow, ok. So he didn’t immediately jump to wedding dress bod. I retract that one word. He asked about poke first. The fact stands, he implied she was dieting to fit into a wedding dress, a tired old trope women have been hearing forever.

You are acting like that is a no big deal clarification but when looking at intent it is an important distinction. He isn't thinking about how she's fat. He's thinking about their giant dinner that night. Then when presented with information that she hasn't eaten he is immediately confused and does not assume she is dieting (which is what someone who was on her about being fat would do) he asks why she didn't eat the food he offered her earlier. She then implies that there is a 'reason' and he sits there and actively thinks about why she would have eaten so little that day. Why would my fiance only have eaten a banana today? Why would she be dieting? Oh maybe she's worried about the wedding dress.

It is important because the way he gets there is logical and it is not based in body shaming.

I absolutely agree with this. I’m so happy they had video of it. It didn’t go down like she said. Dh and I watched it twice. We were Team Z before. Now I don’t know what to believe.

[Anonymous]

You can see from the look on Zanab's face that she's completely over Cole at that point. He spent their entire time together being a senseless fool and being unkind to Zanab. He's a careless person and wasted their time together. Watching him cry is like watching a 2 year old in Target having a meltdown over not getting a toy. Cole is disgusting and it's absurd people are trying to defend him.

[Anonymous]

He's been married before so I'm sure he's quite familiar with a woman talking about wedding dress fittings and dieting. the sta he commented was very much "oh right, I remember that--you must be dieting for the dress!" I know I watched what I ate for a month before my wedding, as did many of my friends. it's not a tried troupe but rather a normal occurrence for most of us who are not naturally twigs. Whether it's healthy is debatable but it's really,really common.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The married couples will get divorced. They don't appear to be in love, despite their shallow declarations. They are all fame seekers. It is laughable when Vanessa and Nick made fun of the guy who used the eyedrops-- saying he was there only to be on TV-- aren't Nick and Vanessa on this show because they want to be on TV? What hypocrites!

It is their job. They are the show’s hosts.