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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]https://time.com/6231990/love-is-blind-zanab-cole-cuties/

I think this is a very honest take on the cuties scene. I stand by my opinion that Cole is an immature ass. He didn’t realize the impact his words had. Not just in individual moments, but cumulatively. When you take all the comments together (you’re a 9 to Colleen’s 10, you’re not my usual type, you’re going to eat 2?, etc.) and you say them to someone with insecurity issues, you’re inflicting real damage. I don’t think it was intentional, but he needs to learn how to filter.[/quote]

I read this article honestly with an open mind as I went into yesterday's episodes with this essential interpretation of Zanab and have left those episodes convinced she is abusive.

You know what this article leaves out VERY conveniently? The same thing Zanab leaves out. The fact that when alerted to the fact that she had only eaten a banana that day he becomes audibly and visibly concerned, asks why she didn't eat food offered earlier and reiterates his question of why when brushed off.

THAT moment is the crux of intent in the scene. If he was trying to get at her, he would not have reacted that way. [/quote]He’s definitely surprised by her not eating more that day. But he doesn’t sound concerned to me. [b]Instead he immediately jumps to the old “trying to fit into your wedding dress” crap. [/b]You can practically hear the internal eye roll when she says “something like that.” Because the “something like that” leaves out “for YOU!” She’s doing it because she’s not his type and she’s a 9 and all those comments. He doesn’t see it. He doesn’t make those connections. I get that. Doesn’t make her a liar.

And to be clear, I’m not defending the way she talks to him. The nagging and negativity is absolutely an issue. She’s the other half of what went wrong. But her bad behavior does not excuse his, and vice versa. [/quote]

NO he does not. He says, and I'm going to quote it based on the captions, because the distortion here is shocking to me that you guys are leaving out critical parts of the exchange:

Zanab: I've only had a banana and a scoop of peanut butter today

Cole: You only had a banana today??? <I add the question marks because he seems genuinely concerned to me

Zaneb: mmm-hmm

Cole: Why?

Zaneb: Of I could tell you but I probably shouldn't

Cole: I offered you a poke bowl

Zanab: I know you did, but we had that last night.

Cole: OH are you getting a wedding dress...

Zaneb: Something like that

Cole: ....wedding dress bod? (being obviously kind of silly)[/quote]How on earth are you reading this? He brings up “the wedding dress bod.” What critical parts am I missing?[/quote]

Your comment implied he immediately pivoted to the wedding dress bod as if that had been on his mind and he had been thinking about her wedding dress bod. He did not immediately pivot to that, he started thinking about how much they ate that day and if she'd had opportunities for food and brought up the meal. Then he clearly pauses and was thinking trying to figure out why on earth she wouldn't be eating after making that cryptic comment and then he thinks of wedding dress bod like it makes sense.

We can speculate on whether she herself had been talking to him about how she'd look in her wedding dress, something I think is likely based on how frequently she would make put down comments about her body and face in front of him in the scenes we did see. [/quote]Wow, ok. So he didn’t [i]immediately[/i] jump to wedding dress bod. I retract that one word. He asked about poke first. The fact stands, he implied she was dieting to fit into a wedding dress, a tired old trope women have been hearing forever.[/quote]

You are acting like that is a no big deal clarification but when looking at intent it is an important distinction. He isn't thinking about how she's fat. He's thinking about their giant dinner that night. Then when presented with information that she hasn't eaten he is immediately confused and does not assume she is dieting (which is what someone who was on her about being fat would do) he asks why she didn't eat the food he offered her earlier. She then implies that there is a 'reason' and he sits there and actively thinks about why she would have eaten so little that day. Why would my fiance only have eaten a banana today? Why would she be dieting? Oh maybe she's worried about the wedding dress.

It is important because the way he gets there is logical and it is not based in body shaming. [/quote]

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