What to feed 4 college boys?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, while I realize this is annoying for you to pull together. Just remember college kids might eventually stop coming by. It's a compliment he's bringing his friends to your home and a sign he feels safe and welcomed. So swallowing the critiques and throwing your arms wide open and being really glad they are there means A LOT to your kids at this age.

I watched my Mom be more than welcoming and it's paid off with lots of casual time with not only her children, but the people they are friends with. My MIL was always grumpy and would have complained and grouched about something like this and she has met ZERO friends her kids have made post-college. They are both local.

So yes, it's annoying because it's last minute and you feel stressed. But drop your perfection expectations, get a meal on the table, bulk up dessert if you aren't sure and just try to relax and enjoy your son and his friends.

This is going to maybe be controversial but as I am getting older I don't really get why I need to be welcoming and also need to enjoy being welcoming or else I am an inferior person...I don't enjoy it and don't really want to meet my kids' friends? To me it's just a whole lot of work piled on top of work and the reward seems to be for extroverts who actually love the company and chit chat, which is not me at all. It just feels like you're a mom of little kids and must entertain and do playdates, then you're a mom of teens and you're a driver, and then you're an empty nester and you are the crash pad. And that's not to say I am acting like a grouch or I'm rude. No, I make the house nice and I make a meal and I try my best, but it is hard for me and my enjoyment of it is 0%. I am so thrilled the minute everyone leaves.

It doesn't make you inferior, but is there something positive you can grab on to? For you own sake?

I'm the pp and an introvert (and in the throes of perimenopausal irritability) and I love meeting my boys' friends because there's history among them and it's the people my kids choose to spend time with. I said 4 were at the house, all working on laptops, but mostly talking. Every time I said something casual, then and throughout the weekend, they would really engage. I had met 3, and the 4th and I had a long conversation one morning while everyone else was sleeping. It makes me feel closer to my boys, and their friends are generally sweethearts I love cheering on. It's nice to interact with people who aren't my age because I do that every day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My just-graduated DS is living with us for a year before he moves and he's had at least 2 to 3 weekends a year for the past couple of years where we have a household of boys. I buy breakfast food, set up beds, and nothing else! They usually go out, or I'll tell my DS to order something. If it's nice out, DS will grill. So many boys grilling these days. They also will go to the grocery store and liquor store on their own.

On one occasion I had 4 of them at home while DS was at work, and I said "here are the car keys so you can go grab lunch," which they did.

Don't sweat it!

--Fellow introvert

I think I'll never not find it awkward and unpleasant. My ds does grill sometimes but weather not cooperating with that now where we are. My mom was a perfect hostess who did not work and excelled at all domestic things, so I think I put a lot of pressure on myself to entertain properly. It's like I can't really let go of the fact that hosting = meals and drinks and total comfort and entertainment. And no matter what I do I fall way short of the standard I have in my head.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My just-graduated DS is living with us for a year before he moves and he's had at least 2 to 3 weekends a year for the past couple of years where we have a household of boys. I buy breakfast food, set up beds, and nothing else! They usually go out, or I'll tell my DS to order something. If it's nice out, DS will grill. So many boys grilling these days. They also will go to the grocery store and liquor store on their own.

On one occasion I had 4 of them at home while DS was at work, and I said "here are the car keys so you can go grab lunch," which they did.

Don't sweat it!

--Fellow introvert

I think I'll never not find it awkward and unpleasant. My ds does grill sometimes but weather not cooperating with that now where we are. My mom was a perfect hostess who did not work and excelled at all domestic things, so I think I put a lot of pressure on myself to entertain properly. It's like I can't really let go of the fact that hosting = meals and drinks and total comfort and entertainment. And no matter what I do I fall way short of the standard I have in my head.

It's college boys. The bar is never lower.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My just-graduated DS is living with us for a year before he moves and he's had at least 2 to 3 weekends a year for the past couple of years where we have a household of boys. I buy breakfast food, set up beds, and nothing else! They usually go out, or I'll tell my DS to order something. If it's nice out, DS will grill. So many boys grilling these days. They also will go to the grocery store and liquor store on their own.

On one occasion I had 4 of them at home while DS was at work, and I said "here are the car keys so you can go grab lunch," which they did.

Don't sweat it!

--Fellow introvert

I think I'll never not find it awkward and unpleasant. My ds does grill sometimes but weather not cooperating with that now where we are. My mom was a perfect hostess who did not work and excelled at all domestic things, so I think I put a lot of pressure on myself to entertain properly. It's like I can't really let go of the fact that hosting = meals and drinks and total comfort and entertainment. And no matter what I do I fall way short of the standard I have in my head.

It's college boys. The bar is never lower.

I'm the first, pp. Agreed! Stop comparing yourself to your mom, your way is just as valid as hers. I don't even cook, and I don't care. So, does that make me less than other moms who do? Absolutely not. What if you could enjoy it 10%? As a pp said, your DS is bringing them home because he feels it's a safe and welcoming space -- so relish that!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Baked ziti, salad and garlic bread!

I thought of something like that but I know my ds at least (and I think the others as everyone works out) is not a big carb person in that way (more like sweet potatoes and such) so worried they won't like it. I sort of hate this!!!

What!?

He does not eat pasta, pizza...

My dating profile 20 years ago literally said “If you don’t eat carbs I am simply not interested in spending time with you.” Carbs are delicious and I would not want to live with someone who didn’t agree. Hope it’s working out for you though!

A lot of kids these days are really health conscious and into working out. I think they tend to seek similarly-minded people. There is no wrong way, it's all about compatibility.

Actually most health enthusiasts will tell you completely restricting entire categories of food is never a good idea. Moderation has always been the key. I love cheesecake. It’s my favorite dessert of all time and of course it’s one of the most calorie dense desserts there is. I have it a couple times a year on my birthday and once over the holidays. To me that’s a lot more healthy than telling myself that I am not allowed to eat something amazing ever again.

Nobody is saying that, just that if you have people who generally don't eat many carbs then you probably should not serve a carb-heavy meal. No need to argue and judge people's food habits.

These are teen boys. It’s fine to eat carbs, even if you normally watch, for a couple days. Because you are staying as a guest. You can’t except someone’s mom to be making you customized low carb meals. That is significant more time consuming that ordering a pizza, making a big lasagna, BBQ pulled pork/chicken sandwiches, and stuff that feeds a crowd. This isn’t the school cafeteria.

But this isn't "someone's mom", it's his mom.

If my kid comes home from college, which is what this seems to be, I'm going to make things he likes for that first night. If he's not a pasta fan, then I won't make pasta that night. Later in the vacation, sure we'll be back to me making one meal and he can eat it or fix himself something.

That doesn't mean that I won't serve a carb with the meal, because many people like carbs. But I wouldn't do something like baked ziti where it's impossible to separate the protein from the pasta, if I knew my kid didn't like pasta.

Baked sweet potatoes with toppings like sour cream, roasted broccoli, and rotisserie chickens or cooked chicken thighs might be a good meal since he likes sweet potatoes.

Or a big pot of chili, with cornbread, and tossed salad.

Pasta with marinara, and sheet pan sausage and peppers, and caesar salad.

Burgers or steaks (depends on your budget), with sweet potato fries, and steamed veggies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, while I realize this is annoying for you to pull together. Just remember college kids might eventually stop coming by. It's a compliment he's bringing his friends to your home and a sign he feels safe and welcomed. So swallowing the critiques and throwing your arms wide open and being really glad they are there means A LOT to your kids at this age.

I watched my Mom be more than welcoming and it's paid off with lots of casual time with not only her children, but the people they are friends with. My MIL was always grumpy and would have complained and grouched about something like this and she has met ZERO friends her kids have made post-college. They are both local.

So yes, it's annoying because it's last minute and you feel stressed. But drop your perfection expectations, get a meal on the table, bulk up dessert if you aren't sure and just try to relax and enjoy your son and his friends.

This is going to maybe be controversial but as I am getting older I don't really get why I need to be welcoming and also need to enjoy being welcoming or else I am an inferior person...I don't enjoy it and don't really want to meet my kids' friends? To me it's just a whole lot of work piled on top of work and the reward seems to be for extroverts who actually love the company and chit chat, which is not me at all. It just feels like you're a mom of little kids and must entertain and do playdates, then you're a mom of teens and you're a driver, and then you're an empty nester and you are the crash pad. And that's not to say I am acting like a grouch or I'm rude. No, I make the house nice and I make a meal and I try my best, but it is hard for me and my enjoyment of it is 0%. I am so thrilled the minute everyone leaves.

It doesn't make you inferior, but is there something positive you can grab on to? For you own sake?

I'm the pp and an introvert (and in the throes of perimenopausal irritability) and I love meeting my boys' friends because there's history among them and it's the people my kids choose to spend time with. I said 4 were at the house, all working on laptops, but mostly talking. Every time I said something casual, then and throughout the weekend, they would really engage. I had met 3, and the 4th and I had a long conversation one morning while everyone else was sleeping. It makes me feel closer to my boys, and their friends are generally sweethearts I love cheering on. It's nice to interact with people who aren't my age because I do that every day.

Not really? My ds had a lovely girlfriend in high school and she was over so frequently it ended up not feeling like work. Same with a couple friends for both of my kids: they'll stop to say hi sometimes even if they are in the neighborhood, it just feels comfortable and normal. But meeting people I'll likely never see again staying in my house suddenly? No, I don't like that and they could be the nicest people on earth and I'd still mind it. I don't want to make small talk, it's excruciating to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My just-graduated DS is living with us for a year before he moves and he's had at least 2 to 3 weekends a year for the past couple of years where we have a household of boys. I buy breakfast food, set up beds, and nothing else! They usually go out, or I'll tell my DS to order something. If it's nice out, DS will grill. So many boys grilling these days. They also will go to the grocery store and liquor store on their own.

On one occasion I had 4 of them at home while DS was at work, and I said "here are the car keys so you can go grab lunch," which they did.

Don't sweat it!

--Fellow introvert

I think I'll never not find it awkward and unpleasant. My ds does grill sometimes but weather not cooperating with that now where we are. My mom was a perfect hostess who did not work and excelled at all domestic things, so I think I put a lot of pressure on myself to entertain properly. It's like I can't really let go of the fact that hosting = meals and drinks and total comfort and entertainment. And no matter what I do I fall way short of the standard I have in my head.

It's college boys. The bar is never lower.

I'm the first, pp. Agreed! Stop comparing yourself to your mom, your way is just as valid as hers. I don't even cook, and I don't care. So, does that make me less than other moms who do? Absolutely not. What if you could enjoy it 10%? As a pp said, your DS is bringing them home because he feels it's a safe and welcoming space -- so relish that!

Honestly I don't think that's why: It's more like crap I'm stuck with this mom and she sucks but my friend needs a place to crash. In fact ds is mad at me now because he was unclear with me about plans and I asked and he could tell I am stressed (I am in office working and really went minimal contact because I know it's obvious I am stressed!!) and he said I was "making him feel bad" and to "stop stressing out". Yet again he has been zero help and has not set up for them. I am just sick of it all and wish I could just leave for the evening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My just-graduated DS is living with us for a year before he moves and he's had at least 2 to 3 weekends a year for the past couple of years where we have a household of boys. I buy breakfast food, set up beds, and nothing else! They usually go out, or I'll tell my DS to order something. If it's nice out, DS will grill. So many boys grilling these days. They also will go to the grocery store and liquor store on their own.

On one occasion I had 4 of them at home while DS was at work, and I said "here are the car keys so you can go grab lunch," which they did.

Don't sweat it!

--Fellow introvert

I think I'll never not find it awkward and unpleasant. My ds does grill sometimes but weather not cooperating with that now where we are. My mom was a perfect hostess who did not work and excelled at all domestic things, so I think I put a lot of pressure on myself to entertain properly. It's like I can't really let go of the fact that hosting = meals and drinks and total comfort and entertainment. And no matter what I do I fall way short of the standard I have in my head.

It's college boys. The bar is never lower.

I'm the first, pp. Agreed! Stop comparing yourself to your mom, your way is just as valid as hers. I don't even cook, and I don't care. So, does that make me less than other moms who do? Absolutely not. What if you could enjoy it 10%? As a pp said, your DS is bringing them home because he feels it's a safe and welcoming space -- so relish that!

Honestly I don't think that's why: It's more like crap I'm stuck with this mom and she sucks but my friend needs a place to crash. In fact ds is mad at me now because he was unclear with me about plans and I asked and he could tell I am stressed (I am in office working and really went minimal contact because I know it's obvious I am stressed!!) and he said I was "making him feel bad" and to "stop stressing out". Yet again he has been zero help and has not set up for them. I am just sick of it all and wish I could just leave for the evening.

Honestly your kid sounds like kind of a jerk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Roast chicken. Grilled chicken thighs. Steak with a baked potato bar. Taco bar. Slowcooker a pork but and make bbq pulled pork sandwiches. Basically make a protein centered dish.

I’d also stock up on eggs. My college student sons eat a ton of eggs for breakfast.

Yes I have eggs. I'm just upset because this is very last minute and one of them might stay for days. I hate having guests so much and especially because I now have to rush and do a bunch of things and still work all day. Would you all feel this way or be thrilled? I am a reluctant hostess, it's a nightmare for me.

Your son is in college. Have him go to the grocery store and get what he wants to eat. They can grill or you can cook for them but this shouldn't be a stress for you, he's an adult so he can be the host here.

He's not home now because he went to get the friends. He has not prepared the room, and he's not grocery shopped. Of course he said it's no big deal, whatever, they just need a place to crash...But ultimately that is not how I am comfortable hosting and I know i'd be judged if I did nothing at all.

You think a bunch of college boys are going to judge you on your hostessing? And if they did, you’d actually care?

I think you could do with some therapy or maybe an edible or ten.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My just-graduated DS is living with us for a year before he moves and he's had at least 2 to 3 weekends a year for the past couple of years where we have a household of boys. I buy breakfast food, set up beds, and nothing else! They usually go out, or I'll tell my DS to order something. If it's nice out, DS will grill. So many boys grilling these days. They also will go to the grocery store and liquor store on their own.

On one occasion I had 4 of them at home while DS was at work, and I said "here are the car keys so you can go grab lunch," which they did.

Don't sweat it!

--Fellow introvert

I think I'll never not find it awkward and unpleasant. My ds does grill sometimes but weather not cooperating with that now where we are. My mom was a perfect hostess who did not work and excelled at all domestic things, so I think I put a lot of pressure on myself to entertain properly. It's like I can't really let go of the fact that hosting = meals and drinks and total comfort and entertainment. And no matter what I do I fall way short of the standard I have in my head.

It's college boys. The bar is never lower.

I'm the first, pp. Agreed! Stop comparing yourself to your mom, your way is just as valid as hers. I don't even cook, and I don't care. So, does that make me less than other moms who do? Absolutely not. What if you could enjoy it 10%? As a pp said, your DS is bringing them home because he feels it's a safe and welcoming space -- so relish that!

Honestly I don't think that's why: It's more like crap I'm stuck with this mom and she sucks but my friend needs a place to crash. In fact ds is mad at me now because he was unclear with me about plans and I asked and he could tell I am stressed (I am in office working and really went minimal contact because I know it's obvious I am stressed!!) and he said I was "making him feel bad" and to "stop stressing out". Yet again he has been zero help and has not set up for them. I am just sick of it all and wish I could just leave for the evening.

Honestly your kid sounds like kind of a jerk.

Kid sounds like he has an uptight, neurotic mother who is blaming him for forcing her to put on a show for his friends when he literally just asked if they could crash for a few days.

OP needs to chill TF out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Roast chicken. Grilled chicken thighs. Steak with a baked potato bar. Taco bar. Slowcooker a pork but and make bbq pulled pork sandwiches. Basically make a protein centered dish.

I’d also stock up on eggs. My college student sons eat a ton of eggs for breakfast.

Yes I have eggs. I'm just upset because this is very last minute and one of them might stay for days. I hate having guests so much and especially because I now have to rush and do a bunch of things and still work all day. Would you all feel this way or be thrilled? I am a reluctant hostess, it's a nightmare for me.

Your son is in college. Have him go to the grocery store and get what he wants to eat. They can grill or you can cook for them but this shouldn't be a stress for you, he's an adult so he can be the host here.

He's not home now because he went to get the friends. He has not prepared the room, and he's not grocery shopped. Of course he said it's no big deal, whatever, they just need a place to crash...But ultimately that is not how I am comfortable hosting and I know i'd be judged if I did nothing at all.

You think a bunch of college boys are going to judge you on your hostessing? And if they did, you’d actually care?

I think you could do with some therapy or maybe an edible or ten.

I don't like hosting or people in my space. It is SO stressful for me and my family.does.not.get.it. They also pretend to be helpful while not being helpful so I end up feeling (I hate how overused that term is but it fits) gaslit which makes me more anxious.

[Anonymous]

Who doesn’t like carbs? This is beyond odd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Roast chicken. Grilled chicken thighs. Steak with a baked potato bar. Taco bar. Slowcooker a pork but and make bbq pulled pork sandwiches. Basically make a protein centered dish.

I’d also stock up on eggs. My college student sons eat a ton of eggs for breakfast.

Yes I have eggs. I'm just upset because this is very last minute and one of them might stay for days. I hate having guests so much and especially because I now have to rush and do a bunch of things and still work all day. Would you all feel this way or be thrilled? I am a reluctant hostess, it's a nightmare for me.

Your son is in college. Have him go to the grocery store and get what he wants to eat. They can grill or you can cook for them but this shouldn't be a stress for you, he's an adult so he can be the host here.

He's not home now because he went to get the friends. He has not prepared the room, and he's not grocery shopped. Of course he said it's no big deal, whatever, they just need a place to crash...But ultimately that is not how I am comfortable hosting and I know i'd be judged if I did nothing at all.

You think a bunch of college boys are going to judge you on your hostessing? And if they did, you’d actually care?

I think you could do with some therapy or maybe an edible or ten.

I don't like hosting or people in my space. It is SO stressful for me and my family.does.not.get.it. They also pretend to be helpful while not being helpful so I end up feeling (I hate how overused that term is but it fits) gaslit which makes me more anxious.

So say no. period. Your son’s friend can’t stay. I’m sure he can find a hotel or airbnb if he doesn’t want to go back to school. I’m sure he has parents that can send him the money to pay for it. You said he is from out of the country. His parents are paying for him to go to an American college. I’m sure they can also pay for him to stay somewhere for a week. Also, if I knew someone was hosting my child for more than like one night I would be offering to pay for all the meals for the entire time my kid was there (not just my kid’s but for the whole family). I swear some people are just takers and have no shame at all about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Roast chicken. Grilled chicken thighs. Steak with a baked potato bar. Taco bar. Slowcooker a pork but and make bbq pulled pork sandwiches. Basically make a protein centered dish.

I’d also stock up on eggs. My college student sons eat a ton of eggs for breakfast.

Yes I have eggs. I'm just upset because this is very last minute and one of them might stay for days. I hate having guests so much and especially because I now have to rush and do a bunch of things and still work all day. Would you all feel this way or be thrilled? I am a reluctant hostess, it's a nightmare for me.

Your son is in college. Have him go to the grocery store and get what he wants to eat. They can grill or you can cook for them but this shouldn't be a stress for you, he's an adult so he can be the host here.

He's not home now because he went to get the friends. He has not prepared the room, and he's not grocery shopped. Of course he said it's no big deal, whatever, they just need a place to crash...But ultimately that is not how I am comfortable hosting and I know i'd be judged if I did nothing at all.

You think a bunch of college boys are going to judge you on your hostessing? And if they did, you’d actually care?

I think you could do with some therapy or maybe an edible or ten.

I don't like hosting or people in my space. It is SO stressful for me and my family.does.not.get.it. They also pretend to be helpful while not being helpful so I end up feeling (I hate how overused that term is but it fits) gaslit which makes me more anxious.

Your response is why I suggested therapy. This is entirely a YOU problem. You’re being asked to let a bunch of college boys crash at your house for a few days, and YOU are putting some sort of nebulous “hosting” burden onto yourself. This is anxiety.

When your son says to stop stressing out maybe believe HIM. This really doesn’t need to be a big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Roast chicken. Grilled chicken thighs. Steak with a baked potato bar. Taco bar. Slowcooker a pork but and make bbq pulled pork sandwiches. Basically make a protein centered dish.

I’d also stock up on eggs. My college student sons eat a ton of eggs for breakfast.

Yes I have eggs. I'm just upset because this is very last minute and one of them might stay for days. I hate having guests so much and especially because I now have to rush and do a bunch of things and still work all day. Would you all feel this way or be thrilled? I am a reluctant hostess, it's a nightmare for me.

Your son is in college. Have him go to the grocery store and get what he wants to eat. They can grill or you can cook for them but this shouldn't be a stress for you, he's an adult so he can be the host here.

He's not home now because he went to get the friends. He has not prepared the room, and he's not grocery shopped. Of course he said it's no big deal, whatever, they just need a place to crash...But ultimately that is not how I am comfortable hosting and I know i'd be judged if I did nothing at all.

You think a bunch of college boys are going to judge you on your hostessing? And if they did, you’d actually care?

I think you could do with some therapy or maybe an edible or ten.

I don't like hosting or people in my space. It is SO stressful for me and my family.does.not.get.it. They also pretend to be helpful while not being helpful so I end up feeling (I hate how overused that term is but it fits) gaslit which makes me more anxious.

So say no. period. Your son’s friend can’t stay. I’m sure he can find a hotel or airbnb if he doesn’t want to go back to school. I’m sure he has parents that can send him the money to pay for it. You said he is from out of the country. His parents are paying for him to go to an American college. I’m sure they can also pay for him to stay somewhere for a week. Also, if I knew someone was hosting my child for more than like one night I would be offering to pay for all the meals for the entire time my kid was there (not just my kid’s but for the whole family). I swear some people are just takers and have no shame at all about it.

This is a bizarrely aggressive conjecture. Thus far this kid hasn’t actually asked OP for a d@mn thing. Her SON asked if this kid could stay at her house. That’s it. That’s all we know.

Honestly some of you are just miserable people who will nevertheless act shocked when your adult kids don’t come around or call very often.