Worried about college for "standard strong" DS

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do you think he will land at 1400?

At this point, absent a spike, the test score is the best enhancer in his application. Disregard DCUM constant saying test scores are not important. 1500 vs 1400 makes a world of difference in his application.

Something that nobody ever said

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Apologies that I am posting as a NYC parent but this group is so helpful! My 10th gr DS it a giant NYC selective public school. I feel like he's going to fall between the cracks in college admissions. Too strong for the "awesomely average" group, not strong enough for the 4.0/1500 group. Not super interested in rah-rah and I worry he'll get lost at a giant state school, but also worry he won't find his people at a tiny LAC. Very NOT quirky. Just a normal hard-working bright teenage boy who likes playing sports and "chilling" with his many friends, and likes the challenge of being surrounded by the smart kids at his school. Has a 3.7 and I'm guessing SAT will land somewhere around 1400?? At his school this is middle of the pack - about 20% of kids get into Ivy+. Best subjects are history and math, but will probably apply as a humanities major since there are so freaking many genius STEM kids. The school is so large that Naviance scattergrams look like a giant ink blot and literally everything appears to be a reach. Anyone here have a kid with a comparable profile? We will of course apply to many SUNYs, but want a solid list of privates as well. We are fortunate to be able to pay in full.

MY advice is more general

- Academically dig in a little more to history and math potential major and how that ties into quality of program, alumni, and post graduation plans when building the list. My kid applied with social science area as potential major and also enjoyed math but didn’t have the heavy STEM background to be sure about it as a major or for it to help versus hurt by putting that as intnded major. I think 100% that being at a SLAC made it easier to make the decision to major in math and be in environment where they weren’t starting behind by only taking AP Calc in high school. That said, now looking for a job and not grad school, they wish they had done Math/Econ or something else with Math to help in the job hunt and even the internship experiences prior.

- Socially your kid can probably make it work at a larger school or a medium size SLAC. First they have to decide Greek Life or not. Then how do people not in Greek life either by choice or didn’t get a bid where they wanted or with friends - how are they making friends, finding roommates, being social etc. and does that feel likely for your son if he went there? I wasn’t in Greek Life at what felt like a Greek heavy school and there were times it felt tough. I think the location of not having much to get to without a car off campus gave Greek parties even more social importance. My kids wanted to be more suburban/urban and went for schools where many different people could thrive and you didn’t have to be one way to fit in.


- As for suggested schools, I would have made similar suggestions about American/GW, Pitt, Syracuse, University of Rochester, Richmond, if willing to attend Catholic school look at some of the Catholic colleges on the east Coast, and consider if open to any mid-west colleges.

TY. I don't think he'll major in math. Not math-y enough at the end of the day. Economics, maybe.

The Greek thing is a big open question. I hear schools like Lehigh and Colgate are VERY VERY Greek. I asked DS and his immediate response was "no" but I'm not sure he has a real grasp on what Greek life entails. He's probably seen TikToks of frat hazing and bro behavior and that doesn't appeal to him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the OP - I'm sorry that so many nasty people are here. You are asking great questions. Doing your homework. Good luck. I just reported one of the nasty posts to eliminate the clutter. Lots of people are in your boat. Good luck! Sounds like you have a great kid.

I agree that the OP has a "great kid" and that's what I've been saying since the beginning. There's nothing she says about the kid that gives any cause for her to be concerned. It's not "clutter" to push back on random lists of colleges or comments from posters along the lines of "he needs to bring his SATs up" when he hasn't even taken the test yet.

And it's certainly not "clutter" to advise OP not to allow the DCUM crazies to rope her in.

There is a big difference between those who are constructively pushing back on school suggestions and those who are insulting the OP by saying they are nuts for being so concerned and anxious when they have given no indication that this is the case in multiple well-written posts.

I never said the OP was nuts. I said some of the responses are.

Maybe my comment wasn't directed to you but to those who were saying OP was nuts? Because several people were doing that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the OP - I'm sorry that so many nasty people are here. You are asking great questions. Doing your homework. Good luck. I just reported one of the nasty posts to eliminate the clutter. Lots of people are in your boat. Good luck! Sounds like you have a great kid.

I agree that the OP has a "great kid" and that's what I've been saying since the beginning. There's nothing she says about the kid that gives any cause for her to be concerned. It's not "clutter" to push back on random lists of colleges or comments from posters along the lines of "he needs to bring his SATs up" when he hasn't even taken the test yet.

And it's certainly not "clutter" to advise OP not to allow the DCUM crazies to rope her in.

There is a big difference between those who are constructively pushing back on school suggestions and those who are insulting the OP by saying they are nuts for being so concerned and anxious when they have given no indication that this is the case in multiple well-written posts.

I never said the OP was nuts. I said some of the responses are.

You are the only crazies in this thread. If that isn’t apparent to you, seek professional help.

I read the OP's first thread carefully. Many of the other posters did not, as evidenced by the many posters advising her that her son needs to get his SAT scores up, when she made clear that he hasn't even taken them yet, and suggesting the she look at Naviance when she made clear that she already had.

What I took away from my careful reading was that she has a well-rounded and happy 10th grader with many friends who is doing well at a selective NYC high school even if he isn't at the very top of his class. I happen to think that a kid like that can and will do well at many, many colleges. I also think that when dealing with a kid like that it often doesn't help to start "worrying" -- her word -- about college and projecting that worry on the kid. And I'll never understand why posters throw out the names of a half a dozen or so random colleges, many of which are quite dissimilar from one another, in response to every one of these threads.

My initial advice -- that the OP relax and wait things out a little -- still stands. I am not willing to go along with the college admissions frenzy that so many other DCUM poster help to perpetuate.

OP. First TY for reading my admittedly long post. I appreciate your pointing out (nicely) that I shouldn't be worried at this time. I think it's coming from knowing a bunch of kids going through the process right now at DC's school and similar ones, kids who have absolutely amazing profiles (multivariable calc in 10th grade etc) getting some shocking rejections. I am seeing the importance of having a strategy playing out in real time.

And yes, academically, DS can probably do fine at most colleges (not the tippy top ones, but we're not applying to those!). I suspect he'll wind up with a generic social science major that almost every school offers. I am far more concerned with finding the right social fit.

If I were you, I'd hire a college counselor and extricate yourself. She can tell him what to take Junior year and you can get off the hamster wheel of trying to micromanage everything. It doesn't sound like you're considering his strengths/wants/etc. A third party can help him take some ownership. And, if you truly think he'd be fine "at most colleges" you're stressing yourself (and probably him) for nothing. But, I think a few have questioned that because you're saying one thing, yet acting as if you don't believe it.

I tend toward anxiety and hiring a college counselor was worth it's weight in gold. One DS ended up at a T20 and the other at ~T120. Both loved their schools and are thriving and besides proofing their essays, I had nothing to do with it, maintained great relationships with both, and was able to pursue my own interests in the time it would have taken me to micromanage the process.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Apologies that I am posting as a NYC parent but this group is so helpful! My 10th gr DS it a giant NYC selective public school. I feel like he's going to fall between the cracks in college admissions. Too strong for the "awesomely average" group, not strong enough for the 4.0/1500 group. Not super interested in rah-rah and I worry he'll get lost at a giant state school, but also worry he won't find his people at a tiny LAC. Very NOT quirky. Just a normal hard-working bright teenage boy who likes playing sports and "chilling" with his many friends, and likes the challenge of being surrounded by the smart kids at his school. Has a 3.7 and I'm guessing SAT will land somewhere around 1400?? At his school this is middle of the pack - about 20% of kids get into Ivy+. Best subjects are history and math, but will probably apply as a humanities major since there are so freaking many genius STEM kids. The school is so large that Naviance scattergrams look like a giant ink blot and literally everything appears to be a reach. Anyone here have a kid with a comparable profile? We will of course apply to many SUNYs, but want a solid list of privates as well. We are fortunate to be able to pay in full.

MY advice is more general

- Academically dig in a little more to history and math potential major and how that ties into quality of program, alumni, and post graduation plans when building the list. My kid applied with social science area as potential major and also enjoyed math but didn’t have the heavy STEM background to be sure about it as a major or for it to help versus hurt by putting that as intnded major. I think 100% that being at a SLAC made it easier to make the decision to major in math and be in environment where they weren’t starting behind by only taking AP Calc in high school. That said, now looking for a job and not grad school, they wish they had done Math/Econ or something else with Math to help in the job hunt and even the internship experiences prior.

- Socially your kid can probably make it work at a larger school or a medium size SLAC. First they have to decide Greek Life or not. Then how do people not in Greek life either by choice or didn’t get a bid where they wanted or with friends - how are they making friends, finding roommates, being social etc. and does that feel likely for your son if he went there? I wasn’t in Greek Life at what felt like a Greek heavy school and there were times it felt tough. I think the location of not having much to get to without a car off campus gave Greek parties even more social importance. My kids wanted to be more suburban/urban and went for schools where many different people could thrive and you didn’t have to be one way to fit in.


- As for suggested schools, I would have made similar suggestions about American/GW, Pitt, Syracuse, University of Rochester, Richmond, if willing to attend Catholic school look at some of the Catholic colleges on the east Coast, and consider if open to any mid-west colleges.

TY. I don't think he'll major in math. Not math-y enough at the end of the day. Economics, maybe.

The Greek thing is a big open question. I hear schools like Lehigh and Colgate are VERY VERY Greek. I asked DS and his immediate response was "no" but I'm not sure he has a real grasp on what Greek life entails. He's probably seen TikToks of frat hazing and bro behavior and that doesn't appeal to him.

Your kid sounds like mine. Would do fine at a school that has a lot of Greek but it isn't core to the culture. Or a school where only a small percentage is Greek. Based on what you've said, I've seen a few people suggest Colgate and I think it is too fratty for your kid. But I might be misreading. Seems like a nice kid with plenty of friends but not the "life of the party" type who will walk into a rush event and have 50 new best friends instantly.

We are taking my sophomore to see a few schools over break that should be achievable but doing it as much to gauge size and feel as for the specific schools. He is excited about this. I would suggest the same if possible but only if he is willing - don't force it. Go see one of the NESCAC schools like Connecticut College. Go to DC to see GW and make a vacation out of it. Go to Lafayette. Go to Clark in Worcester (and Holy Cross if interested). Don't have to venture too far from NYC to see great schools that seem like decent targets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Apologies that I am posting as a NYC parent but this group is so helpful! My 10th gr DS it a giant NYC selective public school. I feel like he's going to fall between the cracks in college admissions. Too strong for the "awesomely average" group, not strong enough for the 4.0/1500 group. Not super interested in rah-rah and I worry he'll get lost at a giant state school, but also worry he won't find his people at a tiny LAC. Very NOT quirky. Just a normal hard-working bright teenage boy who likes playing sports and "chilling" with his many friends, and likes the challenge of being surrounded by the smart kids at his school. Has a 3.7 and I'm guessing SAT will land somewhere around 1400?? At his school this is middle of the pack - about 20% of kids get into Ivy+. Best subjects are history and math, but will probably apply as a humanities major since there are so freaking many genius STEM kids. The school is so large that Naviance scattergrams look like a giant ink blot and literally everything appears to be a reach. Anyone here have a kid with a comparable profile? We will of course apply to many SUNYs, but want a solid list of privates as well. We are fortunate to be able to pay in full.

MY advice is more general

- Academically dig in a little more to history and math potential major and how that ties into quality of program, alumni, and post graduation plans when building the list. My kid applied with social science area as potential major and also enjoyed math but didn’t have the heavy STEM background to be sure about it as a major or for it to help versus hurt by putting that as intnded major. I think 100% that being at a SLAC made it easier to make the decision to major in math and be in environment where they weren’t starting behind by only taking AP Calc in high school. That said, now looking for a job and not grad school, they wish they had done Math/Econ or something else with Math to help in the job hunt and even the internship experiences prior.

- Socially your kid can probably make it work at a larger school or a medium size SLAC. First they have to decide Greek Life or not. Then how do people not in Greek life either by choice or didn’t get a bid where they wanted or with friends - how are they making friends, finding roommates, being social etc. and does that feel likely for your son if he went there? I wasn’t in Greek Life at what felt like a Greek heavy school and there were times it felt tough. I think the location of not having much to get to without a car off campus gave Greek parties even more social importance. My kids wanted to be more suburban/urban and went for schools where many different people could thrive and you didn’t have to be one way to fit in.


- As for suggested schools, I would have made similar suggestions about American/GW, Pitt, Syracuse, University of Rochester, Richmond, if willing to attend Catholic school look at some of the Catholic colleges on the east Coast, and consider if open to any mid-west colleges.

TY. I don't think he'll major in math. Not math-y enough at the end of the day. Economics, maybe.

The Greek thing is a big open question. I hear schools like Lehigh and Colgate are VERY VERY Greek. I asked DS and his immediate response was "no" but I'm not sure he has a real grasp on what Greek life entails. He's probably seen TikToks of frat hazing and bro behavior and that doesn't appeal to him.

Thank-you for engaging in a thoughtful conversation. It is refreshing to see people asking for advice and others providing generally good advice. Based on what I have read you've got a great kid and they will have excellent options. Here are some thoughts on schools that your child might fined interesting.

UVM - Burlington is a great college town and the school is full of happy kids
Bucknell and Lafayette are Patriot League schools like Colgate which produce great results. Holy Cross is another great option in this size group. I would also look at Union College just up the river but a fine old school with good resources and results. An easy admit but great results is St. Lawrence University. It is remote but the alumni are tight knit and successful. Hobart-William Smith also falls into this group.

Middlebury would be a good fit but it would be a big reach. Same for Hamilton. Similar but easier NESCACs would be Trinity and Colby. Wesleyan and Conn College could also be options. Swinging back to PA Franklin and Marshall and Dickinson might be options as well. If Catholics schools are options Villanova and Fairfield in PA and CT are nice places with solid academics.

Net net that are lots of options and your kid will find their place and their people. And, your kid can succeed from anywhere. I went to Oswego and have done extremely well. Good luck, and thank-you for being so thoughtful about your child and where they fit rather than what plays best in your social circles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the OP - I'm sorry that so many nasty people are here. You are asking great questions. Doing your homework. Good luck. I just reported one of the nasty posts to eliminate the clutter. Lots of people are in your boat. Good luck! Sounds like you have a great kid.

I agree that the OP has a "great kid" and that's what I've been saying since the beginning. There's nothing she says about the kid that gives any cause for her to be concerned. It's not "clutter" to push back on random lists of colleges or comments from posters along the lines of "he needs to bring his SATs up" when he hasn't even taken the test yet.

And it's certainly not "clutter" to advise OP not to allow the DCUM crazies to rope her in.

There is a big difference between those who are constructively pushing back on school suggestions and those who are insulting the OP by saying they are nuts for being so concerned and anxious when they have given no indication that this is the case in multiple well-written posts.

I never said the OP was nuts. I said some of the responses are.

You are the only crazies in this thread. If that isn’t apparent to you, seek professional help.

I read the OP's first thread carefully. Many of the other posters did not, as evidenced by the many posters advising her that her son needs to get his SAT scores up, when she made clear that he hasn't even taken them yet, and suggesting the she look at Naviance when she made clear that she already had.

What I took away from my careful reading was that she has a well-rounded and happy 10th grader with many friends who is doing well at a selective NYC high school even if he isn't at the very top of his class. I happen to think that a kid like that can and will do well at many, many colleges. I also think that when dealing with a kid like that it often doesn't help to start "worrying" -- her word -- about college and projecting that worry on the kid. And I'll never understand why posters throw out the names of a half a dozen or so random colleges, many of which are quite dissimilar from one another, in response to every one of these threads.

My initial advice -- that the OP relax and wait things out a little -- still stands. I am not willing to go along with the college admissions frenzy that so many other DCUM poster help to perpetuate.

That is the only thing that stands. You should stop right there. All your follow-up obnoxious comments are unnecessary and mental. I think you agreed to that as you now withdrew back to your initial advice. No one is asking you to "go along" with the helpful discussions in this thread, you can simply not click on it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the OP - I'm sorry that so many nasty people are here. You are asking great questions. Doing your homework. Good luck. I just reported one of the nasty posts to eliminate the clutter. Lots of people are in your boat. Good luck! Sounds like you have a great kid.

I agree that the OP has a "great kid" and that's what I've been saying since the beginning. There's nothing she says about the kid that gives any cause for her to be concerned. It's not "clutter" to push back on random lists of colleges or comments from posters along the lines of "he needs to bring his SATs up" when he hasn't even taken the test yet.

And it's certainly not "clutter" to advise OP not to allow the DCUM crazies to rope her in.

There is a big difference between those who are constructively pushing back on school suggestions and those who are insulting the OP by saying they are nuts for being so concerned and anxious when they have given no indication that this is the case in multiple well-written posts.

I never said the OP was nuts. I said some of the responses are.

You are the only crazies in this thread. If that isn’t apparent to you, seek professional help.

I read the OP's first thread carefully. Many of the other posters did not, as evidenced by the many posters advising her that her son needs to get his SAT scores up, when she made clear that he hasn't even taken them yet, and suggesting the she look at Naviance when she made clear that she already had.

What I took away from my careful reading was that she has a well-rounded and happy 10th grader with many friends who is doing well at a selective NYC high school even if he isn't at the very top of his class. I happen to think that a kid like that can and will do well at many, many colleges. I also think that when dealing with a kid like that it often doesn't help to start "worrying" -- her word -- about college and projecting that worry on the kid. And I'll never understand why posters throw out the names of a half a dozen or so random colleges, many of which are quite dissimilar from one another, in response to every one of these threads.

My initial advice -- that the OP relax and wait things out a little -- still stands. I am not willing to go along with the college admissions frenzy that so many other DCUM poster help to perpetuate.

To the PP. What I think you are missing is that DCUM is effectively a crowdsourcing forum and that there is known effectiveness in crowdsourcing.

One source of effectiveness is the tip/hack/suggestion that is unexpected, that an OP would not have thought of on their own.

Another source of effectiveness is determining what schools get mentioned over and over again. This is similar to the use of crowdsourcing for prediction markets. Many people with similar advice suggests there is a school worth looking into.

PP, many of the people responding here are parents who have recently toured, live near, or have applicants going through the process/or recently went through. It's very dismissive of you to assume their lists are random. What may be true is that these posters have different selection criteria for their proposals. That is not random. OP can inquire further about any of the schools that are of interest to find out the whys.

[Anonymous]

Probably would go with a SUNY school. The privates mentioned here are not worth the money they cost. Hopefully he figures things out in college and can get into a good professional school. He will need to work harder in the future though!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Probably would go with a SUNY school. The privates mentioned here are not worth the money they cost. Hopefully he figures things out in college and can get into a good professional school. He will need to work harder in the future though!

That your opinion, and one that isn't supported by data.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Probably would go with a SUNY school. The privates mentioned here are not worth the money they cost. Hopefully he figures things out in college and can get into a good professional school. He will need to work harder in the future though!

That your opinion, and one that isn't supported by data.

What? I don’t get it. People here are so hard on great schools like Emory, Vanderbilt, and Wash U, but then have nothing but sympathy for a slacker kid who is so clearly best suited to a truly mediocre state school. What gives?! I truly never get this crowd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Probably would go with a SUNY school. The privates mentioned here are not worth the money they cost. Hopefully he figures things out in college and can get into a good professional school. He will need to work harder in the future though!

They said they have the money. Different people choose to spend their money differently. Privates often have a different culture than publics that are better for some kids, and some people choose to spend their money this way.

Her child worked plenty hard. Not being at the top of your class at Brooklyn Tech or Bronx Science (assuming one of these two) is not the sign of a slacker.

Sad that you are insulting this child. Sounds like an incredible kid. You know nothing. Another reason to go to privates is to minimize exposure to people like you.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes it just makes me really angry to read posts like this:

- Smart kid
- no mental health or ND issues
- admitted to and succeeding at an exclusive public HS
- has money to full pay college.

Honestly why are you even worried? Can you introspect a little.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Probably would go with a SUNY school. The privates mentioned here are not worth the money they cost. Hopefully he figures things out in college and can get into a good professional school. He will need to work harder in the future though!

Let me guess - you didn't grow up here. I hate to stereotype but you sound like an immigrant tiger mom. Scary.

And no, this isn't an anti-immigrant comment. I love people from everywhere and embrace diversity. I hate the stereotypical know-it-all immigrants who just don't get how things work. Let me know where your kid goes. So mine can stay far away.

[Anonymous]

Would William and Mary be of interest?

Also, budget wasn’t mentioned. Many of the suggestions are assuming full-pay or maybe some small merit/discount off full pay. If budget is less, that would impact suggested schools.