Struggling to Fit In

[Anonymous]

I think the movies/tv in the 90s and 2000s making fun of tighty whities didn't help, it's crazy to think how quickly we went from Tom Cruise sliding into frame dancing in his jockeys in 1983 to all the boys wearing briefs full time at my
sleep away camp in 1999 the summer before fourth grade and by my 7th grade in fall 2002 tighty whities were lame and made fun of or "gay."

[Anonymous]

The peak time for briefs was when I was a skinny, queer boy in the late 70s toward the end of 80s. Everyone in the early 80s was wearing briefs, it’s why you see it in all the movies from that time. Briefs fell out of favor around the time of AIDS. When guys didn’t want to do or say anything that would label them as gay. Expressions of male sexuality were silenced culturally, and therefore guys just felt they couldn’t wear or dress in ways that would reveal too much, or put themselves on display. We are finally getting to a point again where guys are fine showing off their bodies and aren’t threatened by the male gaze, or by someone calling them gay. Men in general now just seem more comfortable with varying expressions of sexuality, and more comfort in their own sexualities. This is partly because the Internet provides more ways of expression and community that doesn’t always exist in smaller populations and places...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not get your son boxer briefs or boxers so he's not wearing the least cool underwear to ever exist?

Op here. Growing up, my son was always the type of sweet kid who would never throw temper tantrums for boxers. White briefs were what I kept buying him but maybe now he will want to switch to boxers because of peer pressure. My son is shy and struggling socially and it doesn't help that his cousin is always considered "the cool one." At least, to most people.

It doesn't bother me that my son is a little different. My husband also loves our son but is sometimes disappointed that he isn't a more masculine or athletic boy. I want to encourage my son to be himself but worry about him getting teased.

What you said makes zero sense. A child shouldn't have to throw a temper tantrum to get something. They should be able to say "Next time you're buying me underwear, can you get me boxer briefs in black and grey instead of white tighty whities?" and then you just ... do that.

Or by 10, take your son shopping with you and say “ You are size X and need Y pairs of new underwear for this year. I don’t know what you want so please go over and pick out what you want.”
Shopping for yourself is a good skill for all kids to learn.