Struggling to Fit In

[Anonymous]

Get the kid some boxer briefs!

[Anonymous]

"Wait — has your son ever told you he thinks he’s gay? It sounds like you’re making assumptions based on his personality.

Also, your nephew is being a jerk. "

Op here. Yep, DS is still semi-closeted largely due to privacy and safety reasons and is mostly out only online in comfortable spaces. It is heartbreaking to me that he is missing out on the typical social life of a 12-year-old just because of his orientation. He is shy and complains that no one is that friendly at his school. Meanwhile, people tell me what a polite, great kid he seems to be. Deserves so much better!

Well, my nephew is still only ten. Don't you think most ten-year-olds can be jerks or too quick to dismissive anything that seems too gay? I have noticed boys at that age giggling at a waiter who was too flouncy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get the kid some boxer briefs!

Well, I think we need to accept that many gay and queer kids will not appreciate the underwear that most other kids wear. My DS is a freshman in high school and if asked if I should buy boxer briefs or regular briefs would say,

Briefs hands down! That extra thigh fabric is totally worthless! 🩲😈👍

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our DS is also a nice kid trying to survive the cliques, peer pressure and bullying of middle school. We happen to be two mothers raising a small-for-his age boy adopted from Asia. He is the only Asian kid in his class and we worry about stereotypes since he doesn't play sports and is amazing at math.

As for underpants, he likes briefs and boxers never seemed right for him. Admittedly, since we are both women, we aren't exactly experts in underwear for boys, haha. But we can never understand how all these other mommies seem to have gotten a memo that their son needs to switch to boxers in fifth grade.

In all honesty, as stupid as this may sound, I think you should invest in a few pairs of boxers for your DS. Your little guy sounds utterly adorable and very smart to boot.

But fifth grade teasing is a real thing and it sucks! Having two mommies and being labeled a math nerd can be a lot to deal with and I wouldn't give the mean kids something else to tease him about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: Your little guy sounds utterly adorable and very smart to boot.

Thanks, a lot of people still think it's surprising that two white women could adopt an Asian boy.

For the past two years, DS has been taking ballet class. He wears a white t-shirt and short black shorts and boxers wouldn't work under those!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Well, I think we need to accept that many gay and queer kids will not appreciate the underwear that most other kids wear.

Yes, I would agree. Boxers are overrated anyway!

Boys don't have to like sports anymore, girls don't have to play with dolls, and there's nothing wrong with wearing the underwear that makes you the most comfortable.

My DS is a bi kid in high school who still wears briefs. Much better having everything supported.

The boys in his gym class are not bullying him. He says that if guys in the locker room like you, you will get some friendly comments about Tighty Whities. If they don't like you, then expect a typical response.

[Anonymous]

What you might be missing is that the gay person in the story could be your nephew, not your son.

I know something about that kind of POS behavior. In high school I bullied gay people constantly. At the time, I thought I just hated them. In reality, their existence was a threat to mine because a lot of that hostility came from not wanting to face the possibility in myself.

Oh, the irony! Turns out the joke was on me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is this in the lgbtqia forum?

The OP is some troll getting his jollies off writing erotically stimulating fiction.

[Anonymous]

I can relate to this type of situation.

Kids everywhere are very good at sniffing out who is straight and who isn’t. You don’t have to advertise your orientation but you probably also can’t hide it. It’s nothing indeed that needs be hidden, in my opinion.

My DS was nervous about being bullied. He switched to boxers in the seventh grade just because of the peer pressure in the school locker room. But guess what? He decided he wanted to go back to jockey underwear as a senior in high school. He no longer cared as much what other people thought!

[Anonymous]

I went to middle school and high school in the mid 2000’s.

When I was in HS everyone wore boxers, only a small handful of guys wore boxer briefs. I never saw briefs outside of the track team. I’m glad briefs are back in the mainstream but when I was younger you couldn’t be caught dead in briefs… or be endlessly teased and bullied!

[Anonymous]

What's wrong with tighty whities anyway?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's wrong with tighty whities anyway?

Yeah, it can be hard to see what's so wrong when you have a boy who likes briefs and doesn't want to wear a different style. In our case, we are two moms with a 10-year-old son and there is no father complaining that his DS should be wearing boxers. But, to be honest, there are times we worry if our son is too "different" from other boys in his class.

[Anonymous]

My son has been wearing boxer briefs since he was about 10. They make really nice Nike ones that are soft and dry fit material, very comfy, but also pretty cool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Well, I think we need to accept that many gay and queer kids will not appreciate the underwear that most other kids wear.

Yes, I would agree. Boxers are overrated anyway!

Boys don't have to like sports anymore, girls don't have to play with dolls, and there's nothing wrong with wearing the underwear that makes you the most comfortable.

My DS is a bi kid in high school who still wears briefs. Much better having everything supported.

The boys in his gym class are not bullying him. He says that if guys in the locker room like you, you will get some friendly comments about Tighty Whities. If they don't like you, then expect a typical response.

Agree that everyone should wear what they’re most comfortable with, but tbh, I don’t understand why sexuality would play a role in this? And I say this as a queer woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I don’t understand why sexuality would play a role in this? And I say this as a queer woman.

In the early 2000s and 10s our culture seemed to decide that the male form was inherently unattractive and should be covered up. This stemmed from homophobia (of course) as social issues were making the existence of gay men part of social consciousness. Shirts and pants became loose and baggy, shorts had to fall below the knee, swim trunks became long and heavy, and underwear was designed to cover the thighs as much as possible.

I do think there's a connection between making fun of wearing tighty whities and making fun of someone for being gay. Some people think briefs are too feminine or look like panties. My son who is bi was always somewhat princessy even as a kindergartener. I wasn't surprised that he did not make the switch-to-boxers rite of passage like other boys his age and stayed in briefs... he is a cute, likable kid trying to figure out what a happy life means as a queer teen!