Forgoing the elf - is this realistic?

[Anonymous]

I guess I'm also grouchy because Elf on the Shelf is just some really successful marketing for a book and toy. It's only been a thing since 2005, not some sort of longstanding tradition. So it's just one if those "What’s marketing going to try to shove down my throat next".

[Anonymous]

Ironically we made it through the Santa years with no Elf but my younger DD asked for one after she already knew the truth. She confessed she had always wanted one. So I bought one and we have fun with it but no pressure if it doesn’t move and she joins in sometimes.

It’s just more female invisible labor and I already have a husband who does literally nothing to help with Christmas (apart from contributing funds.)

[Anonymous]

Elf on the Shelf is just some artificial thing created by some woman in Iowa who had to self-publish her book. It’s not a real tradition.

[Anonymous]

I never wanted to do this and we haven’t (oldest is almost 8). It hasn’t really come up. It probably depends on your kids’ specific friends. If I am ever asked, I am prepared to say that parents decide if they want an elf at their house and we have not put in a request.

[Anonymous]

We do neither Santa nor Elf. The tree is enough! Kids are Christian so we are treating it as a religious holiday + many showings of Muppet Christmas Carol.

[Anonymous]

I think traditions you do [/b]with your children are more fun for everyone than the ones you do for[b] your children.

The elf seems to be about 90% Mom and 10% kid, so we never did it. It seemed like a recipe for holiday overload and resentment.

My kids were fine. We also live in a religiously diverse area, my kids go to public school and stopped believing in Santa around kindergarten when they figured out pretty quickly he wasn't going to everyone's house.

[Anonymous]

My kids are 10, 7, 4, and 2, and we've never done the elf and don't plan to start. My oldest made a big deal about not having an elf in second grade because she was apparently the only kid in her class that didn't have an elf on the shelf but I just shrugged and said our family doesn't do that.

I can see how it would be a fun tradition if it is approached in a low key way, but my introduction to it was over the top Facebook posts of elaborate set ups which really turned me off from the whole idea.

[Anonymous]

Stay off social media idiots and do it low key

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We never did the Elf. Never got asked about it. I thought it was a weird suburban thing. Do people do that in DC?

Not that I’ve seen or heard of. I thought it was a semi rural thing for entertainment because there is generally less to do and more kids to enjoy the ‘magic’.

This is stupid. I live in close-in Arlington and do the elf and have a friend in DC who does as well. It’s a fairly mainstream tradition.

I also know plenty of people who don’t do it though and it’s nbd. I’m sure they do things my family does do (for instance I’m not a big cookie baker). We also aren’t very religious so Christmas to us is mostly just about Santa/elves and we also adopt an angel tree kid to shop for.

To answer OP though, your kids will be fine with or without an elf. I’d chalk this up to the same category that some families are into travel ball, some have theater kids, some go skiing all the time. Just pick what works for you.

If you decide to do it you can just move it around. I swear my kids love searching for the hidden elf more than the elaborate scenes.

And to a PP who commented about not liking the disciplinary element of it, I totally agree. I don’t think fun traditions should be turned into a discipline tool. Our elf doesn’t tattle, he just creates hijinx and occasionally leaves a note recognizing something nice the kids have done.

[Anonymous]

Never did it. My son asked about it in early elementary but I just said it wasn't one of our traditions. Like you we have lots of other traditions. It was fine to skip.

[Anonymous]

My kids LOVED the elf. We did it for years.

[Anonymous]

Our elf went back to the North Pole. It was causing one child to wake up super early in the mornings in effort to be the first to spot him. Then it was constant talk about the elf all day. No thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Elf on the Shelf is just some artificial thing created by some woman in Iowa who had to self-publish her book. It’s not a real tradition.

Agreed. And it's gotten more obnoxious as they've extended the product line and the "mischief" has gotten more elaborate. Some of the pranks are messy and gross...especially anything involving toilets and poop jokes.

My family actually had a few little holiday magic pranks when I was little but we invented them ourselves. And they were low intensity to pull off. One was an Easter chicken-shaped candy dish that would lay jelly beans when you sang a song and left it alone for a while. Dad handled that one. We remember it fondly although we only did it for two Easter seasons and only my 5 year old sister believed it was real.

[Anonymous]

NO ONE I KNOW HAS EVER DONE THE ELF. Some in my circle do Advent, others have stockings hung up on their mantel, everyone has their traditions and no one does it all.

Sorry to shout rudely, but you seem to be in this extraordinarily tight bubble of thought about this. There are absolutely no consequences to not tacking on extra stuff at Christmas!

I think the concept of the Elf is fun and not creepy... but I'm not doing it. We're fine with Advent. We don't have stockings. We have presents under the tree. Works for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids are 6 and 4 and we’ve made it this far without them asking about the elf on the shelf but my oldest is in K and it finally happened this year. We do Santa but I try not to make it a huge focus. We’ve always done advent instead with a calendar and talked about the meaning of advent - we’re very involved with our traditional Presbyterian church and the main reason I haven’t started the elf is because we already do the advent calendar and I don’t want to add a second secular thing in since Santa already comes and we have other traditions like going to zoo lights, going to tea downtown, the nativity pageant at church, and lots of parties.

My question is, does every single kid at school have an elf? And if we decide to forego that tradition, how should I explain to them why we do?

I’m not totally opposed to doing the elf but it seems like a lot of work and my hope it to keep the religious piece the most important part of Christmas.

6 yr old can do the elf for the 4 year old