Need private school ASAP for ADHD 5yo — eloping, dysregulated, needs active learning

[theflash1985]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Was preschool okay? What accommodations did he need there?

OP doesn't want to answer this. Wonder why.

LOL. I was playing video games with my son and getting him ready for bed.

We confirmed his ADHD in preschool after his private Christian school admitted he’d been covering his ears, hiding under desks, and not responding to questions and being mute. At home, he started showing anxiety and physical aggression on us from holding it all in all day. We got him diagnosed that week with ADHD and severe anxiety, did PCIT therapy over the summer which helped tremendously, and had an IEP ready for fall. (Fun Fact: The first IEP they gave us was literally blank — we had to tell them every single accommodation and service a kid with ADHD and Anxiety needs. PGCPS is insane - won't be here too much longer.)

[theflash1985]

Anonymous wrote:I can see where the emotional dysregulation COMES FROM !!!!!!!!!!!

Yup: from his biological parents who didn't want to be bothered with him. We adopted him.

Ya'll be saying anything on the Internet. lol

[Anonymous]

I would homeschool using a tutor- you can get 1-2 college students to do the shifts at $20ish an hour. Give them the curriculum and lots of time for movement breaks. Public school will break your kid and your family with this profile and sldcisl needs private schools will break your bank and may still not serve your kid well. The school has already shown that they are completely done working with you.

[Anonymous]

Can you homeschool for a few years? It may be the best.

[Anonymous]

PG has specialized programing for students with emotional and behavioral disorders - the SEAD program. Has your IEP team discussed this? It looks there are two elementary locations for this program.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PG has specialized programing for students with emotional and behavioral disorders - the SEAD program. Has your IEP team discussed this? It looks there are two elementary locations for this program.

I was not aware of this, I’ll look into. Maybe we can do a transfer. The current school is trash - which is shared by other parents I’ve talked to and by online reviews

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you homeschool for a few years? It may be the best.

It’s crazy how everyone is saying home school. My son has ADHD and Anxiety and gets unregulated IF the “trained adult professionals” are not providing accommodations and services. If he gets this like he was this summer, he’s fine like all the other kids.

My son has the right to be in school like everyone else’s kid.

[Anonymous]

You should add Katherine Thomas lower school to the list.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately, it's unlikely that any private school will take him. There just aren't any private schools that serve this population.

My kid is similar but much older now. My advice:
1. Medicate. He can't learn skills (or academics) when dysregulated.
2. Get him OT out of school.
3. Fight for accommodations in public.

Give it some time. For my kid, the beginning of the year is a CF. Then it gets better for 2nd & 3rd quarter. Then kid burns out towards the end of the year. Rinse and repeat. But each year does get a little easier, on average.

The extra year of preschool is not a bad idea. Do a TON of OT during that year.

OT would not be beneficial for a child like this.

False. OT can help teach skills to address dysregulation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

False. OT can help teach skills to address dysregulation.

Thank you, the schools refuses to provide for him but we will start private OT

[Anonymous]

theflash1985 wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Was preschool okay? What accommodations did he need there?

OP doesn't want to answer this. Wonder why.

LOL. I was playing video games with my son and getting him ready for bed.

We confirmed his ADHD in preschool after his private Christian school admitted he’d been covering his ears, hiding under desks, and not responding to questions and being mute. At home, he started showing anxiety and physical aggression on us from holding it all in all day. We got him diagnosed that week with ADHD and severe anxiety, did PCIT therapy over the summer which helped tremendously, and had an IEP ready for fall. (Fun Fact: The first IEP they gave us was literally blank — we had to tell them every single accommodation and service a kid with ADHD and Anxiety needs. PGCPS is insane - won't be here too much longer.)

Unfortunately a different school system won’t fix this problem. You’re still going to be better off home schooling for now. Whether you choose to accept that or not is on you. Choosing to ignore the option completely could be detrimental.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately, it's unlikely that any private school will take him. There just aren't any private schools that serve this population.

My kid is similar but much older now. My advice:
1. Medicate. He can't learn skills (or academics) when dysregulated.
2. Get him OT out of school.
3. Fight for accommodations in public.

Give it some time. For my kid, the beginning of the year is a CF. Then it gets better for 2nd & 3rd quarter. Then kid burns out towards the end of the year. Rinse and repeat. But each year does get a little easier, on average.

The extra year of preschool is not a bad idea. Do a TON of OT during that year.

OT would not be beneficial for a child like this.

False. OT can help teach skills to address dysregulation.

OT are not trained in behavior management. Find someone qualified.

[Anonymous]

theflash1985 wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My child was like yours- got suspended on the second day of elementary school because they didn't follow the IEP and give him a prewarning about a fire drill and he freaked out. I was just as frustrated as you and I looked for any school that might take him. There weren't any. Schools did not want aggressive children who need considerably more attention. And to be honest, you probably wouldn't want the schools that would accept him.

I left him in public and he went through an assortment of placements, including a non-public school. None were right for him and most of the teachers just triggered him. But as he got older, we had a better understanding of what he needed and by high school, he was fully mainstreamed.

It was the toughest road I've ever been on, so I am so sorry you are dealing with it. Between the constant meetings, being on edge every time your phone rings, and other parents isolating you...it is miserable. Both myself and his father had to change jobs due to his constant needs.

So all that said, I still don't think a private school will get you what your child needs. What I would suggest you advocate for is a smaller class- in MCPS it is called SESES, but not sure about PG county. You would argue that this is not his LRE (which seems true based on what you shared). At least then you would have access to more support, a better teacher/student ratio so they are more likely to follow the IEP, and classes with less stimulation.

Thank you so much for being helpful - I'll research this. I'd much rather save my $50k/year for renting a townhouse in Montgomery County and just going to one of their FREE public schools with SESES than pay $100k/year in rent and McLean private school tuition and then they kick him out anyway.

MCPS has its own issues, and won't automatically put your son in a special placement like SESES. Just a heads up.

[Anonymous]

theflash1985 wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

theflash1985 wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Baltimore Lab school could be a good fit in terms of dealing with his challenges. What is currently in his IEP? If there are documented incidents of him kicking staff and eloping, no matter how great a kid he is when he’s better regulated, no mainstream private school is going to touch that unfortunately. That’s just facts. You might have luck with a parochial school that needs more students , but they aren’t going to provide OT or outdoor/ hands on learning

So McLean, Diener and other ADHD schools only want perfect little "emotionally mature" 5 year olds? That is so not fair. My son will be denied from all private and have to suffer from incompetent public school IEP teams.

They kept him in the principal’s office for six hours last week instead of helping him. (My advocate is coming to IEP meeting this coming Friday to discuss this disgusting event) The behaviors come from that lack of support, not who he is. I just want him somewhere that actually implements accommodations instead of punishing him for needing them.

I said mainstream privates , not privates that focus specifically on ADHd kids. I’m not familiar with those schools because I’m in Baltimore. And declining to admit a child who has documented episodes of physically assaulting staff- which is unfortunately what kicking the staff is- is not unreasonable and does not mean a school “only wants perfect emotionally mature 5 year olds”. You’d do your son a favor to drop the argumentative tone with people who are trying to be friendly and help you.

I’m not arguing, just frustrated that so many schools don’t actually support SN kids the way they should. If your child doesn’t struggle with aggression, it can be hard to understand what it’s really like. A 5-year-old has very little control when they’re dysregulated — the hitting or kicking isn’t intentional, it’s a stress response. My son is lucky to have parents like us not doing him a disservice at all - most other SN parents I've seen at the school just send the kids to school and don't even know who the Case Manager is or if services have started.

Are you for real? Do you think parents of other special needs students will want to help you when you’re insulting us and implying that we send our SN kids to school not caring what happens to them there?

[Anonymous]

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