Is there any way of knowing if a woman will keep her strong libido over time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That's like asking is there any way to know if a man will not go bald.

Look at his mother’s brother.

[Anonymous]

As a woman with high libido, I understand you and I think you should bring it up. I can’t guarantee what will happen with me or my DH in 10 years but I can tell you my drive at 47 is the same as when I was 20, and that I have been told for the last 20 years by society that I’m declining in every possible way. I was scared by friends, acquaintances and doctors that I’d have terrible problems as a mother of “advanced maternal age” yet I had two easy pregnancies and healthy kids at 36 and 40. Now I’m 47 and I’m supposed to believe I’ll be celibate from 55 onwards? I’m not buying it, but I guess anything is possible. I also didn’t think I’d have hot flashes at 45 but I did (and got on HRT).

I think what you need is not so much a women who will not change but one who will understand and not judge you and be enthusiastic about figuring things out so you are both happy.


But such a woman will absolutely also expect the same from you.

[Anonymous]

Is there a way to know a man isn’t going to experience erectile dysfunction over time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is there a way to know a man isn’t going to experience erectile dysfunction over time?

This! 🔥

[Anonymous]

If this is your biggest concern, examine your life and work on yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When dating someone in their 30s or early 40s, and the sex in the relationship is great. Is there a way of knowing if the woman will maintain her drive as she ages? This is my biggest concern as a man.

can she masturbate herself to orgasm?

and talk about it?

that is the number one sign that a women will maintain her drive, that she can give herself an orgasm with no shame.

This is a good indicator of sexual engagement/experience, but you can also frame it as looking for the TripleDs: Desire, Drive, and Duty.

Desire: both feeling desired by your partner and caring enough about yourself to be desirable, at least to your own standards, within reason for your personal shape and constitution
Drive: enjoying sex and your sexuality and being driven to engage sexually, including with yourself. Someone with no drive now isn't likely to pick one up later. Someone with high drive now isn't likely to fall completely off (menopause may mess with this a little, but it shouldn't be permanent or severe)
Duty: seeing sexual engagement with your partner as an important part of the relationship. This shouldn't be a chore, but it shouldn't require planetary alignment for you to see that it matters, and needs to be a regular part of maintaining your connection.

You can have a simple conversation about all of these things, and they fit for any sex/gender configuration. You and your partner should be reasonably aligned on all of these points. Losing any one of them temporarily can be overcome by the others (e.g. "I want to fsck but I don't necessarily desire you as much, but sex is how we stay connected" = we have sex; or "I still find you attractive but my meds/menopause/major work project tanked my libido so tonight I'm going to take a more passive role" = we have sex)

Weird how your examples are about how a woman doesn't WANT to have sex but you still force her. Hmm. Weird fantasy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's like asking is there any way to know if a man will not go bald.

Look at his mother’s brother.

It's supposed to be his mother's father, but even then there's some randomness. I have all my hair, but my brother and my two male cousins (our mothers are sisters) are bald like our grandfather.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. The way to determine this is to first determine whether the man will continue to make her feel desirable and continue his interest in her as a human. Determine whether he will stay fit, take on half the mental load in their relationship, and see her as a human being and enjoy growing together with her.

Correct.
Every woman however will go through menopause and will not be like in their 20s no matter what you do.

Untrue, there are always outliers.

Are you telling me there are women in their 80s still menstruating? Every woman with ovaries WILL go through menopause at some point.
While I would love to be on HRT, I cannot, so while it’s helpful for many, I know several people who can’t use it.

[Anonymous]

May this type of "love" never find me <3

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That's like asking is there any way to know if a man will not go bald.

Which is why you should see how her mom's dad performs in bed. Smart.

[Anonymous]

There's probably no way to know if her libido will stay strong over time. But I wonder if it's more within the realm of possibility to know whether she will continue to regard the idea of sex in a marriage as important, not be dismissive of your desire for sex to continue to be a prominent feature of the relationship, and put forth the same level of effort that you do into making sure that both spouses are as satisfied as they can be with sex in the marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, almost everyone's hormones fall off a cliff at some point.

If yours don't, you need a sex doll, not an actual woman. Or, you need to date / marry a desperate poor young woman.

If your hormones fall off, you still have an obligation to meet your husband half way and fulfill your marital duties. It is your responsibility to figure it out instead of leaving your husband hanging. For one partner to unilaterally declare the marriage celibate is cruel.

Meeting your husband half way does not make you a sex doll; it makes you a loving and caring partner. Compromise is part of marriage, it is common sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, almost everyone's hormones fall off a cliff at some point.

If yours don't, you need a sex doll, not an actual woman. Or, you need to date / marry a desperate poor young woman.

If your hormones fall off, you still have an obligation to meet your husband half way and fulfill your marital duties. It is your responsibility to figure it out instead of leaving your husband hanging. For one partner to unilaterally declare the marriage celibate is cruel.

Meeting your husband half way does not make you a sex doll; it makes you a loving and caring partner. Compromise is part of marriage, it is common sense.

Sounds like we have a strong supporter of marital rape! Interesting flex.

[Anonymous]

Women tend to have a lower libidio, as they age, yes. That is Mother Nature. Many men do as well.

If you can't deal with that, don't get married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, almost everyone's hormones fall off a cliff at some point.

If yours don't, you need a sex doll, not an actual woman. Or, you need to date / marry a desperate poor young woman.

If your hormones fall off, you still have an obligation to meet your husband half way and fulfill your marital duties. It is your responsibility to figure it out instead of leaving your husband hanging. For one partner to unilaterally declare the marriage celibate is cruel.

Meeting your husband half way does not make you a sex doll; it makes you a loving and caring partner. Compromise is part of marriage, it is common sense.

Sounds like we have a strong supporter of marital rape! Interesting flex.

Willfully meeting your husband half way is called compromise, which is part of any marriage. And this goes for husbands too. Nobody is forcing anyone to do anything