Navigating video game culture (boys)

[Anonymous]

This has nothing to do with being cool. Have you ever played grow a garden? You’re literally planting apple trees.

Parents pretending this issue is about coolness, because they’re lazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids like video games, especially 9yo DS. We limit it to weekends and so far only play Minecraft and we got them a Nintendo Switch last year for Christmas, for which they have a handful of games. Thought that would tide us over for a while but he keeps asking for Roblox, "all" his friends play, so he says, and he feels left out. I've been really wary of Roblox due to the online aspect and the amount of game content to wade through. Am I being unreasonable? Is there a way to allow him to play select age-appropriate games safely with his friends?

We have 3 kids, 2 girls 1 boy. It's amazing how much more of an issue this is with boys. We waited until late to allow video games (about 8-9 years old), and he did feel like an outsider a lot because of it. In hindsight we should have allowed him just minecraft and some other basic games earlier. It's a part of the culture and social life with boys. We did eventually give into roblox, but we monitored the chat, and he can only play video games in the common areas of the house where we're always nearby to glance in on him. No screens during the week and we do time limits on weekends. Honestly, Roblox is trash, but he got really into it for 6 months or so then got sick of it. He's back to mostly minecraft now because it's more engaging/interesting. The way the games are made these days is to addict and manipulate, and that sucks. It makes a lot of work for us parents. However, for us the best course has been to take on the work of monitoring and trying to be flexible to let him try things within those boundaries.

[Anonymous]

Roblox is for dorks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No video games in our house. I'm ok with being an uncool parent. I didn't have them as a kid either.

You didn't have cell phones or any number of other things that have likely been invented since. Video games are not the root of all evil--plenty of functional adults played them growing up, and still do. It has nothing to do with being a "cool" parent.

I won’t let my elementary schooler have a cell phone, either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just say no. Where do kids have the 1hr a day for video games? We don't do a ton of activities or team sports, but between homework, music practice, a few days of activities and family dinner nightly, there just isn't time. Oh and my kids want to read books and their magazines all the free minutes between things. Because they don't have screens as an option. 2nd and 4th graders.

For us, home from school at four leaves five hours until bed. An hour for homework and music, half an hour for eating dinner, and an hour for video games leaves two and a half hours for reading and such. On days with activities that changes and a bit, but not monumentally. That works for us and is a good balance. We didn't introduce game time until third grade and I've actually found that use of time got more responsible after not less.

Your 3rd grader goes to bed at 9??

Yes? Based on people in our neighborhood that seems pretty normal. Do you think that's early or late?

Late but maybe your district had a later school start time. My 3rd grader gets up around 6:15.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS8 is allowed to play video games or watch TV for 1 hour every day. We have a switch, but do not connect it to the internet. He mostly plays Mario Kart, Minecraft and Pokemon. He does not have a ipad/tablet/watch/phone and is not permitted to go on youtube/internet unsupervised.

this works for our family.

I wish my 8 year old could be friends with your 8 year old! Can someone make an app for that? "Luddite mom seeking friends for son"

It’s sad that an hour of video games and tv a day indicates Luddite now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No video games in our house. I'm ok with being an uncool parent. I didn't have them as a kid either.

You didn't have cell phones or any number of other things that have likely been invented since. Video games are not the root of all evil--plenty of functional adults played them growing up, and still do. It has nothing to do with being a "cool" parent.

I won’t let my elementary schooler have a cell phone, either.

Um, I won't let my middle schooler have one. WHat's wrong with you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This has nothing to do with being cool. Have you ever played grow a garden? You’re literally planting apple trees.

Parents pretending this issue is about coolness, because they’re lazy.

Who's pretending it's about coolness? Surely not the 9yo boys- they just want to play with their friends and not feel left out. I really hate how video games are so woven into the social fabric of boys relationships, but I don't know how to avoid it either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No video games in our house. I'm ok with being an uncool parent. I didn't have them as a kid either.

You didn't have cell phones or any number of other things that have likely been invented since. Video games are not the root of all evil--plenty of functional adults played them growing up, and still do. It has nothing to do with being a "cool" parent.

I won’t let my elementary schooler have a cell phone, either.

Um, I won't let my middle schooler have one. WHat's wrong with you?

We are talking about elementary schoolers. It's the elementary school forum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has nothing to do with being cool. Have you ever played grow a garden? You’re literally planting apple trees.

Parents pretending this issue is about coolness, because they’re lazy.

Who's pretending it's about coolness? Surely not the 9yo boys- they just want to play with their friends and not feel left out. I really hate how video games are so woven into the social fabric of boys relationships, but I don't know how to avoid it either.

We occasionally take our kids to Dave and Busters and other arcades but in general video games are not a big thing among our kids and their friends. It just isn't something they focus much on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has nothing to do with being cool. Have you ever played grow a garden? You’re literally planting apple trees.

Parents pretending this issue is about coolness, because they’re lazy.

Who's pretending it's about coolness? Surely not the 9yo boys- they just want to play with their friends and not feel left out. I really hate how video games are so woven into the social fabric of boys relationships, but I don't know how to avoid it either.

We occasionally take our kids to Dave and Busters and other arcades but in general video games are not a big thing among our kids and their friends. It just isn't something they focus much on.

Yeah, you need to cultivate new friendships for your kids if all of their friends are obsessed with video games. Not everyone is, they're just making poor choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has nothing to do with being cool. Have you ever played grow a garden? You’re literally planting apple trees.

Parents pretending this issue is about coolness, because they’re lazy.

Who's pretending it's about coolness? Surely not the 9yo boys- they just want to play with their friends and not feel left out. I really hate how video games are so woven into the social fabric of boys relationships, but I don't know how to avoid it either.

We occasionally take our kids to Dave and Busters and other arcades but in general video games are not a big thing among our kids and their friends. It just isn't something they focus much on.

Yeah, you need to cultivate new friendships for your kids if all of their friends are obsessed with video games. Not everyone is, they're just making poor choices.

You sound like my sister, I was complaining about this to her and she sniffed "The families I choose to socialize with share our values and we all love the outdoors and don't play video games so this isn't a problem.." her son is 7 so how much longer will that work? My sons make friends at school and I have to put in effort to meet thr families.

[Anonymous]

Is this thread some kind of elaborate troll?

My oldest grew up playing video games with his friends. We didn't impose strict 'screen limits' or whatever - but our rule was only that homework be done beforehand.

He's now an Eagle Scout, is a backpacking/hiking junkie, and does rock climbing, while also maintaining straight A's at a challenging school.

You can play video games and not be utterly consumed by it. Rather than getting Amish on your kids...why not just teach them reasonable balance?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this thread some kind of elaborate troll?

My oldest grew up playing video games with his friends. We didn't impose strict 'screen limits' or whatever - but our rule was only that homework be done beforehand.

He's now an Eagle Scout, is a backpacking/hiking junkie, and does rock climbing, while also maintaining straight A's at a challenging school.

You can play video games and not be utterly consumed by it. Rather than getting Amish on your kids...why not just teach them reasonable balance?

Roblox, not to mention the very realistic shooting and/or high speed cut-to-cut video games, is not what we grew up with. If kids want to play 2D Mario every Saturday for an hour, I’m fine with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this thread some kind of elaborate troll?

My oldest grew up playing video games with his friends. We didn't impose strict 'screen limits' or whatever - but our rule was only that homework be done beforehand.

He's now an Eagle Scout, is a backpacking/hiking junkie, and does rock climbing, while also maintaining straight A's at a challenging school.

You can play video games and not be utterly consumed by it. Rather than getting Amish on your kids...why not just teach them reasonable balance?

Roblox, not to mention the very realistic shooting and/or high speed cut-to-cut video games, is not what we grew up with. If kids want to play 2D Mario every Saturday for an hour, I’m fine with that.

a very small percentage of Roblox is first person shooter games. Just tell your kid, no first person shooter games.