Navigating video game culture (boys)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can teach your kid about the potential threats on any video gaming platform as well as social media outlet. Just controlling, controlling, controlling can and does backfire on parents as the kid ages up. There is nothing inherently wrong with Roblox or Minecraft, or the like. It’s when kids don’t understand the danger of unknown bad actors, or they play nonstop with no other outlets, that’s when these things become bad. Use these times as talking times and get the kid to come up with a plan of limits on the devices and games. Enable them to set a timer and then monitor their follow through. There are (gasp) educational aspects in some of the millions of games available on Roblox. I would encourage you (yes, you parent) to get an account to see what you like, what you don’t like, and what is attractive to the young folk. I promise it’s not scary. You may have fun. But, you will learn something from the adventure.

I mean the kid probably already knows what games they want to play from their friends- so I would ask and investigfate those. Encouraging a parent of a 9yo to find what is attractive to the "young folk" made me snort my coffee a bit, sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can teach your kid about the potential threats on any video gaming platform as well as social media outlet. Just controlling, controlling, controlling can and does backfire on parents as the kid ages up. There is nothing inherently wrong with Roblox or Minecraft, or the like. It’s when kids don’t understand the danger of unknown bad actors, or they play nonstop with no other outlets, that’s when these things become bad. Use these times as talking times and get the kid to come up with a plan of limits on the devices and games. Enable them to set a timer and then monitor their follow through. There are (gasp) educational aspects in some of the millions of games available on Roblox. I would encourage you (yes, you parent) to get an account to see what you like, what you don’t like, and what is attractive to the young folk. I promise it’s not scary. You may have fun. But, you will learn something from the adventure.

I mean who has time to find a handful of redeeming games out of millions? Let me guess, you were game addicts too.

I play video games and I backpack and camp and hike. There is this thing called balance in life. Yes, we pay attention to the games DS wants to play and we investigated them before we let him play them when he was younger. Even now, we look at the game reviews before we let him play it, he is 13.

Video games are fun, there is nothing that says you can't have fun playing video games in a balanced manner. It is not a black and white thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've also said no to Roblox, a few times now, but have trouble articulating the *why*. Because they always want to know WHY. I mean it's because it's junk for your brain and pedos hang out on it but how do you explain that to a 10yo?

My kids knew the word pedophile by the time they were four. You can just explain it to your 10 yr old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can teach your kid about the potential threats on any video gaming platform as well as social media outlet. Just controlling, controlling, controlling can and does backfire on parents as the kid ages up. There is nothing inherently wrong with Roblox or Minecraft, or the like. It’s when kids don’t understand the danger of unknown bad actors, or they play nonstop with no other outlets, that’s when these things become bad. Use these times as talking times and get the kid to come up with a plan of limits on the devices and games. Enable them to set a timer and then monitor their follow through. There are (gasp) educational aspects in some of the millions of games available on Roblox. I would encourage you (yes, you parent) to get an account to see what you like, what you don’t like, and what is attractive to the young folk. I promise it’s not scary. You may have fun. But, you will learn something from the adventure.

I mean who has time to find a handful of redeeming games out of millions? Let me guess, you were game addicts too.

Who has time to find the worthwhile books, movies, or podcasts? I don't know man sometimes you have to do some work to be a parent.

[Anonymous]

The chat function in Roblox can be entirely disabled. There are also maturity settings that can be controlled by guardians. I get frustrated with Roblox as well - but it’s what all the kids are into. How else will they be able to discuss strategies for 99 nights in the forest?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids like video games, especially 9yo DS. We limit it to weekends and so far only play Minecraft and we got them a Nintendo Switch last year for Christmas, for which they have a handful of games. Thought that would tide us over for a while but he keeps asking for Roblox, "all" his friends play, so he says, and he feels left out. I've been really wary of Roblox due to the online aspect and the amount of game content to wade through. Am I being unreasonable? Is there a way to allow him to play select age-appropriate games safely with his friends?

How is he doing in school, sport, and art/music?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I told my kids that bad guys pretend to be kids on Roblox and I don't want them to get tricked.
My kids also have minecraft and mario but I'm not giving in on Roblox. Both my boys claim to be social outcasts because of it and say it's all the other boys talk about. Disappointing.

They are probably not exaggerating. We didn't allow chat and conversation; this removes most of the threat from the bad actors.

I suggested this but apparently the chat is the whole point i.e. chatting with friends. My boys are not athletic and the types to get addicted to this stuff so I think it's safer to steer clear while I still can control some things. They don't have tablets either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I told my kids that bad guys pretend to be kids on Roblox and I don't want them to get tricked.
My kids also have minecraft and mario but I'm not giving in on Roblox. Both my boys claim to be social outcasts because of it and say it's all the other boys talk about. Disappointing.

They are probably not exaggerating. We didn't allow chat and conversation; this removes most of the threat from the bad actors.

I suggested this but apparently the chat is the whole point i.e. chatting with friends. My boys are not athletic and the types to get addicted to this stuff so I think it's safer to steer clear while I still can control some things. They don't have tablets either.

They can set up Zoom on the computer and chat through it. Or google chat or something along those lines. That is what we did, we used Zoom because one of the kids didn't have a tablet and couldn't facetime. They set up their zoom call and chatted away while playing. We knew the numbers of the parents and could monitor the conversation.

[Anonymous]

DS8 is allowed to play video games or watch TV for 1 hour every day. We have a switch, but do not connect it to the internet. He mostly plays Mario Kart, Minecraft and Pokemon. He does not have a ipad/tablet/watch/phone and is not permitted to go on youtube/internet unsupervised.

this works for our family.

[Anonymous]

My kids and I all played Roblox until the kids outgrew it. Some of the games are harmless and fun. Adult engagement keeps it safe.

[Anonymous]

Who cares if it’s what other kids are into? You are the parent, OP. If you don’t like it, you are allowed to say no. We’ve told our 9 yo DS that he can get Roblox and Fortnite at 18. The reason is that we don’t want his younger brother to see first person combat until 16, and they’re two years apart. I let him play games that don’t include first person combat, but only on the weekends.

Maybe it’s because I’m a former teacher, but I’m very comfortable saying no to my kids on tech stuff. They get TV and a few video games. It’s not like we’re raising them in the woods.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who cares if it’s what other kids are into? You are the parent, OP. If you don’t like it, you are allowed to say no. We’ve told our 9 yo DS that he can get Roblox and Fortnite at 18. The reason is that we don’t want his younger brother to see first person combat until 16, and they’re two years apart. I let him play games that don’t include first person combat, but only on the weekends.

Maybe it’s because I’m a former teacher, but I’m very comfortable saying no to my kids on tech stuff. They get TV and a few video games. It’s not like we’re raising them in the woods.

This. Just say no. You have another decade of saying no to things even though saying yes would make your kid cool. How are you going to say no to drinking someday?

[Anonymous]

I just say no. Where do kids have the 1hr a day for video games? We don't do a ton of activities or team sports, but between homework, music practice, a few days of activities and family dinner nightly, there just isn't time. Oh and my kids want to read books and their magazines all the free minutes between things. Because they don't have screens as an option. 2nd and 4th graders.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just say no. Where do kids have the 1hr a day for video games? We don't do a ton of activities or team sports, but between homework, music practice, a few days of activities and family dinner nightly, there just isn't time. Oh and my kids want to read books and their magazines all the free minutes between things. Because they don't have screens as an option. 2nd and 4th graders.

For us, home from school at four leaves five hours until bed. An hour for homework and music, half an hour for eating dinner, and an hour for video games leaves two and a half hours for reading and such. On days with activities that changes and a bit, but not monumentally. That works for us and is a good balance. We didn't introduce game time until third grade and I've actually found that use of time got more responsible after not less.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just say no. Where do kids have the 1hr a day for video games? We don't do a ton of activities or team sports, but between homework, music practice, a few days of activities and family dinner nightly, there just isn't time. Oh and my kids want to read books and their magazines all the free minutes between things. Because they don't have screens as an option. 2nd and 4th graders.

For us, home from school at four leaves five hours until bed. An hour for homework and music, half an hour for eating dinner, and an hour for video games leaves two and a half hours for reading and such. On days with activities that changes and a bit, but not monumentally. That works for us and is a good balance. We didn't introduce game time until third grade and I've actually found that use of time got more responsible after not less.

Your 3rd grader goes to bed at 9??