Navigating video game culture (boys)

[Anonymous]

My kids like video games, especially 9yo DS. We limit it to weekends and so far only play Minecraft and we got them a Nintendo Switch last year for Christmas, for which they have a handful of games. Thought that would tide us over for a while but he keeps asking for Roblox, "all" his friends play, so he says, and he feels left out. I've been really wary of Roblox due to the online aspect and the amount of game content to wade through. Am I being unreasonable? Is there a way to allow him to play select age-appropriate games safely with his friends?

[Anonymous]

You’re an enabler

[Anonymous]

No video games in our house. I'm ok with being an uncool parent. I didn't have them as a kid either.

[Anonymous]

We just say no. Different parents allow different things, and we don’t allow video games. Some of his friends aren’t allowed things he has. No big deal.

[Anonymous]

DH is a gamer and our kids play every day after school, mostly nintendo. We say no to Roblox.

[Anonymous]

You can decide which games our OK on Roblox. I let my child play certain games, and it’s like a common language for boys. But he’ll be better off if you limit video games overall - it’s a time suck.

[Anonymous]

I've also said no to Roblox, a few times now, but have trouble articulating the *why*. Because they always want to know WHY. I mean it's because it's junk for your brain and pedos hang out on it but how do you explain that to a 10yo?

[Anonymous]

We allowed Roblox at that age. It was limited, like all screen time. DS could choose an hour of video game time after he completed homework and was ready for whatever activity he might have that day. We disabled chat and did not allow him to use a head set to talk to friends, they could facetime or zoom if he was playing with friends and wanted to talk. He played on the computer in the family room so we could see what was happening. He did not have robucks, unless it was given as a birthday or Christmas gift.

He switched between that and other games with his friends. It was fine. He is also a kid that is not as likely to get super caught up in video games. He was ok about turning it off and doing other things when his hour was up. I am not saying he was perfect, there were time we had to remind him of the time limit, but we only had to not allow him to play the next day for over playing a few times.

[Anonymous]

I told my kids that bad guys pretend to be kids on Roblox and I don't want them to get tricked.
My kids also have minecraft and mario but I'm not giving in on Roblox. Both my boys claim to be social outcasts because of it and say it's all the other boys talk about. Disappointing.

[Anonymous]

I think it's super hard to navigate this. It was fine with my girls, but with my son he wants to play all. the. time.

We have a very old gaming system he can play on a few times a year. Otherwise he has his ipad, but I don't allow any games that include chatting with people. So no roblox, and minecraft only locally on his ipad. He's mostly into the sports games anyway, so has gotten some of those for his ipad.

We allow it a few times a week (2-3 times) depending on how busy he is otherwise. I would rather him channel his competitiveness into actual sports, but I can't exactly have him with his friends 24/7 so here we are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I told my kids that bad guys pretend to be kids on Roblox and I don't want them to get tricked.
My kids also have minecraft and mario but I'm not giving in on Roblox. Both my boys claim to be social outcasts because of it and say it's all the other boys talk about. Disappointing.

They are probably not exaggerating. We didn't allow chat and conversation; this removes most of the threat from the bad actors.

[Anonymous]

I mean, you can just say no. I said no to all video games. He gets to play at friends' houses occasionally and at arcades. In both instances there are parents around. But yes, I'm sure you get the "But EVERYONE has xyz." Mine says the same about tablets, apple watches, laser tag guns, video games.

[Anonymous]

You can teach your kid about the potential threats on any video gaming platform as well as social media outlet. Just controlling, controlling, controlling can and does backfire on parents as the kid ages up. There is nothing inherently wrong with Roblox or Minecraft, or the like. It’s when kids don’t understand the danger of unknown bad actors, or they play nonstop with no other outlets, that’s when these things become bad. Use these times as talking times and get the kid to come up with a plan of limits on the devices and games. Enable them to set a timer and then monitor their follow through. There are (gasp) educational aspects in some of the millions of games available on Roblox. I would encourage you (yes, you parent) to get an account to see what you like, what you don’t like, and what is attractive to the young folk. I promise it’s not scary. You may have fun. But, you will learn something from the adventure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can teach your kid about the potential threats on any video gaming platform as well as social media outlet. Just controlling, controlling, controlling can and does backfire on parents as the kid ages up. There is nothing inherently wrong with Roblox or Minecraft, or the like. It’s when kids don’t understand the danger of unknown bad actors, or they play nonstop with no other outlets, that’s when these things become bad. Use these times as talking times and get the kid to come up with a plan of limits on the devices and games. Enable them to set a timer and then monitor their follow through. There are (gasp) educational aspects in some of the millions of games available on Roblox. I would encourage you (yes, you parent) to get an account to see what you like, what you don’t like, and what is attractive to the young folk. I promise it’s not scary. You may have fun. But, you will learn something from the adventure.

I mean who has time to find a handful of redeeming games out of millions? Let me guess, you were game addicts too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We allowed Roblox at that age. It was limited, like all screen time. DS could choose an hour of video game time after he completed homework and was ready for whatever activity he might have that day. We disabled chat and did not allow him to use a head set to talk to friends, they could facetime or zoom if he was playing with friends and wanted to talk. He played on the computer in the family room so we could see what was happening. He did not have robucks, unless it was given as a birthday or Christmas gift.

He switched between that and other games with his friends. It was fine. He is also a kid that is not as likely to get super caught up in video games. He was ok about turning it off and doing other things when his hour was up. I am not saying he was perfect, there were time we had to remind him of the time limit, but we only had to not allow him to play the next day for over playing a few times.

This seems reasonable. My older two are girls and never asked to do Roblox, but I also have a 6 yo boy, and I wonder if this is something we'll have to navigate in the future. But I like the idea of using facetime, playing in a common area, disabling chat- I think it is fine to play electronic games with friends, since it is social, interactive, etc. We also don't get tablets for our kids, so it could be a way to practice using the computer (my dds are shockingly bad at using a computer - they are in middle school and their school just uses ipads).