For parents who don't post pictures of their kids on social media

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Nobody cares about your kids. Who do you think you are, a celebrity?

What if I am? Then what?

Then maybe you’d have good reason. But we both know you’re not a celebrity.

I'm sorry you find the need to hawk your kid's childhood out for validation from strangers. Some of us don't have endless pits of neediness that need to be filled with likes at the expense of out children's privacy.

Lol I see we have yet another shrilling extremist on DCUM. There’s such a thing as a happy medium you know.

It depends on what you are worried about. One of the reasons I don't post photos of my kids on social media is that I realized when my first was a toddler that I was doing it, almost compulsively, because it always resulted in a lot of positive feedback. So without being fully aware of it, I would sometimes post a cute photo of my kid as like a pick me up for myself, because I'd immediately get a bunch of likes and compliments and it would make me feel good.

When this dawned on me, I realized I was exploiting my own kid for not great reasons, and I stopped. I have no idea if this is why other people post photos of their kids -- that is other people's business. For me it was a factor, so I stopped. Maybe when my kids are older, if they are interested in posting photos (to private accounts only friends and family can see), I'll start doing it again with their consent. If they are involved and enjoy it, I don't feel so weird about it. But I don't want to use my kids to make myself look better or attract positive attention to myself. That's not what kids are for.

This is one of the most important reasons to me. When I was pregnant with my first a friend told me that she posted a picture of her newborn and would frantically check to see how many likes it got. The idea of putting a number on my baby and tracking this metric turned my stomach. My kids are their own people who don't exist to garner me attention and validation. I don't like comodifying their existence.

Well, sure, but you’re assuming that everyone has the same weird motivations that you and your friends do when they actually don’t.

Honest question then, why do you post pictures of your kids online? Genuinely curious.

Well, for starters, as I said I have a limited/private social media presence and I’m not flooding the world with the posts. We are a close extended family—yes,
I know, a foreign concept for DCUM—and we like seeing each other’s pictures. It’s not like I’m posting a baby book on line. The vast majority of my pics aren’t kids.
But I’m not going to shy away completely from ever posting any pictures of any of my kids out of paranoia.

You are a close extended family that doesn't text each other pictures? Doesn't sound that close.

That’s right. I forgot for a second that everyone on this forum is a hateful skeptic with miserable family lives who hate their in laws and boomer parents and are
always looking for a fight.


We are a large family and yes it’s easier sometimes to post pics on social media than to text individually every single time. But yes, since you asked, we do that too. Quite often in fact.

You are choosing convenience over privacy and safety. That's fine, but that's a choice you're making. It's easy to label everyone paranoid but the facts are the facts, as someone linked earlier in this thread. Texting exists, email exists, Whatsapp exists. Hell even mail exists. But don't pretend not to know the dangers. It's 2025, we all know the dangers of AI and social media. Just own your choice to let laziness trump your kids' ownership of their digital footprint.

Sigh.

The “dangers” are severely limited if you have a small social media presence that is set in every possible way to private. You could not find any post of my kids online if you tried.

Yes it's notoriously easy to be sure every single person following you has no ill intentions and a secured phone. You should write a book about how you have it all figured out!

There you go with the paranoia again!

I think it's funny that you think calling me paranoid is some sort of gotcha. Yes I am paranoid. Bad things happen in the world. I am the only person in the world responsible for my kids safety and I take that very seriously. I'm sorry your kids have a mother that doesn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have sometimes not signed it. I usually do. I feel it's different in that the photo is not tied to my name and therefore not explicitly identifying my kid.

This. It depends on the organization and where their picture will be displayed, etc.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Nobody cares about your kids. Who do you think you are, a celebrity?

What if I am? Then what?

Then maybe you’d have good reason. But we both know you’re not a celebrity.

I'm sorry you find the need to hawk your kid's childhood out for validation from strangers. Some of us don't have endless pits of neediness that need to be filled with likes at the expense of out children's privacy.

Lol I see we have yet another shrilling extremist on DCUM. There’s such a thing as a happy medium you know.

It depends on what you are worried about. One of the reasons I don't post photos of my kids on social media is that I realized when my first was a toddler that I was doing it, almost compulsively, because it always resulted in a lot of positive feedback. So without being fully aware of it, I would sometimes post a cute photo of my kid as like a pick me up for myself, because I'd immediately get a bunch of likes and compliments and it would make me feel good.

When this dawned on me, I realized I was exploiting my own kid for not great reasons, and I stopped. I have no idea if this is why other people post photos of their kids -- that is other people's business. For me it was a factor, so I stopped. Maybe when my kids are older, if they are interested in posting photos (to private accounts only friends and family can see), I'll start doing it again with their consent. If they are involved and enjoy it, I don't feel so weird about it. But I don't want to use my kids to make myself look better or attract positive attention to myself. That's not what kids are for.

This is one of the most important reasons to me. When I was pregnant with my first a friend told me that she posted a picture of her newborn and would frantically check to see how many likes it got. The idea of putting a number on my baby and tracking this metric turned my stomach. My kids are their own people who don't exist to garner me attention and validation. I don't like comodifying their existence.

Well, sure, but you’re assuming that everyone has the same weird motivations that you and your friends do when they actually don’t.

Honest question then, why do you post pictures of your kids online? Genuinely curious.

Well, for starters, as I said I have a limited/private social media presence and I’m not flooding the world with the posts. We are a close extended family—yes,
I know, a foreign concept for DCUM—and we like seeing each other’s pictures. It’s not like I’m posting a baby book on line. The vast majority of my pics aren’t kids.
But I’m not going to shy away completely from ever posting any pictures of any of my kids out of paranoia.

You are a close extended family that doesn't text each other pictures? Doesn't sound that close.

That’s right. I forgot for a second that everyone on this forum is a hateful skeptic with miserable family lives who hate their in laws and boomer parents and are
always looking for a fight.


We are a large family and yes it’s easier sometimes to post pics on social media than to text individually every single time. But yes, since you asked, we do that too. Quite often in fact.

You are choosing convenience over privacy and safety. That's fine, but that's a choice you're making. It's easy to label everyone paranoid but the facts are the facts, as someone linked earlier in this thread. Texting exists, email exists, Whatsapp exists. Hell even mail exists. But don't pretend not to know the dangers. It's 2025, we all know the dangers of AI and social media. Just own your choice to let laziness trump your kids' ownership of their digital footprint.

Sigh.

The “dangers” are severely limited if you have a small social media presence that is set in every possible way to private. You could not find any post of my kids online if you tried.

Yes it's notoriously easy to be sure every single person following you has no ill intentions and a secured phone. You should write a book about how you have it all figured out!

There you go with the paranoia again!

I think it's funny that you think calling me paranoid is some sort of gotcha. Yes I am paranoid. Bad things happen in the world. I am the only person in the world responsible for my kids safety and I take that very seriously. I'm sorry your kids have a mother that doesn't.

There’s taking things seriously and there’s paranoia.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nobody cares about your kids. Who do you think you are, a celebrity?

What if I am? Then what?

Then maybe you’d have good reason. But we both know you’re not a celebrity.

I'm sorry you find the need to hawk your kid's childhood out for validation from strangers. Some of us don't have endless pits of neediness that need to be filled with likes at the expense of out children's privacy.

Lol I see we have yet another shrilling extremist on DCUM. There’s such a thing as a happy medium you know.

It depends on what you are worried about. One of the reasons I don't post photos of my kids on social media is that I realized when my first was a toddler that I was doing it, almost compulsively, because it always resulted in a lot of positive feedback. So without being fully aware of it, I would sometimes post a cute photo of my kid as like a pick me up for myself, because I'd immediately get a bunch of likes and compliments and it would make me feel good.

When this dawned on me, I realized I was exploiting my own kid for not great reasons, and I stopped. I have no idea if this is why other people post photos of their kids -- that is other people's business. For me it was a factor, so I stopped. Maybe when my kids are older, if they are interested in posting photos (to private accounts only friends and family can see), I'll start doing it again with their consent. If they are involved and enjoy it, I don't feel so weird about it. But I don't want to use my kids to make myself look better or attract positive attention to myself. That's not what kids are for.

This is one of the most important reasons to me. When I was pregnant with my first a friend told me that she posted a picture of her newborn and would frantically check to see how many likes it got. The idea of putting a number on my baby and tracking this metric turned my stomach. My kids are their own people who don't exist to garner me attention and validation. I don't like comodifying their existence.

Well, sure, but you’re assuming that everyone has the same weird motivations that you and your friends do when they actually don’t.

Honest question then, why do you post pictures of your kids online? Genuinely curious.

Well, for starters, as I said I have a limited/private social media presence and I’m not flooding the world with the posts. We are a close extended family—yes,
I know, a foreign concept for DCUM—and we like seeing each other’s pictures. It’s not like I’m posting a baby book on line. The vast majority of my pics aren’t kids.
But I’m not going to shy away completely from ever posting any pictures of any of my kids out of paranoia.

You are a close extended family that doesn't text each other pictures? Doesn't sound that close.

That’s right. I forgot for a second that everyone on this forum is a hateful skeptic with miserable family lives who hate their in laws and boomer parents and are
always looking for a fight.


We are a large family and yes it’s easier sometimes to post pics on social media than to text individually every single time. But yes, since you asked, we do that too. Quite often in fact.

You are choosing convenience over privacy and safety. That's fine, but that's a choice you're making. It's easy to label everyone paranoid but the facts are the facts, as someone linked earlier in this thread. Texting exists, email exists, Whatsapp exists. Hell even mail exists. But don't pretend not to know the dangers. It's 2025, we all know the dangers of AI and social media. Just own your choice to let laziness trump your kids' ownership of their digital footprint.

Sigh.

The “dangers” are severely limited if you have a small social media presence that is set in every possible way to private. You could not find any post of my kids online if you tried.

Yes it's notoriously easy to be sure every single person following you has no ill intentions and a secured phone. You should write a book about how you have it all figured out!

There you go with the paranoia again!

I think it's funny that you think calling me paranoid is some sort of gotcha. Yes I am paranoid. Bad things happen in the world. I am the only person in the world responsible for my kids safety and I take that very seriously. I'm sorry your kids have a mother that doesn't.

There’s taking things seriously and there’s paranoia.

And you are the final arbiter of that. Congrats.

Listen do whatever you want. Feel free to call me paranoid and I'll feel free to call you a selfish mom who prioritizes her own wants over the safety of her kids. Hopefully nothing bad happens and you don't have to learn the hard way. Have a blessed afternoon!

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nobody cares about your kids. Who do you think you are, a celebrity?

What if I am? Then what?

Then maybe you’d have good reason. But we both know you’re not a celebrity.

I'm sorry you find the need to hawk your kid's childhood out for validation from strangers. Some of us don't have endless pits of neediness that need to be filled with likes at the expense of out children's privacy.

Lol I see we have yet another shrilling extremist on DCUM. There’s such a thing as a happy medium you know.

It depends on what you are worried about. One of the reasons I don't post photos of my kids on social media is that I realized when my first was a toddler that I was doing it, almost compulsively, because it always resulted in a lot of positive feedback. So without being fully aware of it, I would sometimes post a cute photo of my kid as like a pick me up for myself, because I'd immediately get a bunch of likes and compliments and it would make me feel good.

When this dawned on me, I realized I was exploiting my own kid for not great reasons, and I stopped. I have no idea if this is why other people post photos of their kids -- that is other people's business. For me it was a factor, so I stopped. Maybe when my kids are older, if they are interested in posting photos (to private accounts only friends and family can see), I'll start doing it again with their consent. If they are involved and enjoy it, I don't feel so weird about it. But I don't want to use my kids to make myself look better or attract positive attention to myself. That's not what kids are for.

This is one of the most important reasons to me. When I was pregnant with my first a friend told me that she posted a picture of her newborn and would frantically check to see how many likes it got. The idea of putting a number on my baby and tracking this metric turned my stomach. My kids are their own people who don't exist to garner me attention and validation. I don't like comodifying their existence.

Well, sure, but you’re assuming that everyone has the same weird motivations that you and your friends do when they actually don’t.

Honest question then, why do you post pictures of your kids online? Genuinely curious.

Well, for starters, as I said I have a limited/private social media presence and I’m not flooding the world with the posts. We are a close extended family—yes,
I know, a foreign concept for DCUM—and we like seeing each other’s pictures. It’s not like I’m posting a baby book on line. The vast majority of my pics aren’t kids.
But I’m not going to shy away completely from ever posting any pictures of any of my kids out of paranoia.

You are a close extended family that doesn't text each other pictures? Doesn't sound that close.

That’s right. I forgot for a second that everyone on this forum is a hateful skeptic with miserable family lives who hate their in laws and boomer parents and are
always looking for a fight.


We are a large family and yes it’s easier sometimes to post pics on social media than to text individually every single time. But yes, since you asked, we do that too. Quite often in fact.

You are choosing convenience over privacy and safety. That's fine, but that's a choice you're making. It's easy to label everyone paranoid but the facts are the facts, as someone linked earlier in this thread. Texting exists, email exists, Whatsapp exists. Hell even mail exists. But don't pretend not to know the dangers. It's 2025, we all know the dangers of AI and social media. Just own your choice to let laziness trump your kids' ownership of their digital footprint.

Sigh.

The “dangers” are severely limited if you have a small social media presence that is set in every possible way to private. You could not find any post of my kids online if you tried.

Yes it's notoriously easy to be sure every single person following you has no ill intentions and a secured phone. You should write a book about how you have it all figured out!

There you go with the paranoia again!

I think it's funny that you think calling me paranoid is some sort of gotcha. Yes I am paranoid. Bad things happen in the world. I am the only person in the world responsible for my kids safety and I take that very seriously. I'm sorry your kids have a mother that doesn't.

There’s taking things seriously and there’s paranoia.

And you are the final arbiter of that. Congrats.

Listen do whatever you want. Feel free to call me paranoid and I'll feel free to call you a selfish mom who prioritizes her own wants over the safety of her kids. Hopefully nothing bad happens and you don't have to learn the hard way. Have a blessed afternoon!

I’m not saying you’re paranoid. I am saying it’s a paranoid way of thinking. It just is.

[Anonymous]

I think I understood the no photos thing a few years ago. It was easier to keep kids away from creeps. But now that people in public are constantly with smart phones and ipads out pointing everywhere, how do you know your child isn't being photographed by creeps in public?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nobody cares about your kids. Who do you think you are, a celebrity?

What if I am? Then what?

Then maybe you’d have good reason. But we both know you’re not a celebrity.

I'm sorry you find the need to hawk your kid's childhood out for validation from strangers. Some of us don't have endless pits of neediness that need to be filled with likes at the expense of out children's privacy.

Lol I see we have yet another shrilling extremist on DCUM. There’s such a thing as a happy medium you know.

It depends on what you are worried about. One of the reasons I don't post photos of my kids on social media is that I realized when my first was a toddler that I was doing it, almost compulsively, because it always resulted in a lot of positive feedback. So without being fully aware of it, I would sometimes post a cute photo of my kid as like a pick me up for myself, because I'd immediately get a bunch of likes and compliments and it would make me feel good.

When this dawned on me, I realized I was exploiting my own kid for not great reasons, and I stopped. I have no idea if this is why other people post photos of their kids -- that is other people's business. For me it was a factor, so I stopped. Maybe when my kids are older, if they are interested in posting photos (to private accounts only friends and family can see), I'll start doing it again with their consent. If they are involved and enjoy it, I don't feel so weird about it. But I don't want to use my kids to make myself look better or attract positive attention to myself. That's not what kids are for.

This is one of the most important reasons to me. When I was pregnant with my first a friend told me that she posted a picture of her newborn and would frantically check to see how many likes it got. The idea of putting a number on my baby and tracking this metric turned my stomach. My kids are their own people who don't exist to garner me attention and validation. I don't like comodifying their existence.

Well, sure, but you’re assuming that everyone has the same weird motivations that you and your friends do when they actually don’t.

Honest question then, why do you post pictures of your kids online? Genuinely curious.

Well, for starters, as I said I have a limited/private social media presence and I’m not flooding the world with the posts. We are a close extended family—yes,
I know, a foreign concept for DCUM—and we like seeing each other’s pictures. It’s not like I’m posting a baby book on line. The vast majority of my pics aren’t kids.
But I’m not going to shy away completely from ever posting any pictures of any of my kids out of paranoia.

You are a close extended family that doesn't text each other pictures? Doesn't sound that close.

That’s right. I forgot for a second that everyone on this forum is a hateful skeptic with miserable family lives who hate their in laws and boomer parents and are
always looking for a fight.


We are a large family and yes it’s easier sometimes to post pics on social media than to text individually every single time. But yes, since you asked, we do that too. Quite often in fact.

You are choosing convenience over privacy and safety. That's fine, but that's a choice you're making. It's easy to label everyone paranoid but the facts are the facts, as someone linked earlier in this thread. Texting exists, email exists, Whatsapp exists. Hell even mail exists. But don't pretend not to know the dangers. It's 2025, we all know the dangers of AI and social media. Just own your choice to let laziness trump your kids' ownership of their digital footprint.

Sigh.

The “dangers” are severely limited if you have a small social media presence that is set in every possible way to private. You could not find any post of my kids online if you tried.

Yes it's notoriously easy to be sure every single person following you has no ill intentions and a secured phone. You should write a book about how you have it all figured out!

There you go with the paranoia again!

I think it's funny that you think calling me paranoid is some sort of gotcha. Yes I am paranoid. Bad things happen in the world. I am the only person in the world responsible for my kids safety and I take that very seriously. I'm sorry your kids have a mother that doesn't.

seek therapy Rocky ASAP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I only allow yearbook but the school and school system post anyway despite me singing a waiver saying no pictures.

We didn’t even allow yearbook in ES but one year they ignored us. We pitched a fit and they ultimately offered to correct “our” YB but they’d already been distributed to everyone else so what was the point. We’re not the “suing” type but we still have not let the school admin forget they screwed up.

We still sign the opt-out (last DC is a senior in HS) and most teachers/clubs sincerely attempt to comply. Current compromise for those who ask for something special is name or image but not both.

And, yes, we have walked away from certain activities, in part, because of their strict demand for permission to publish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think I understood the no photos thing a few years ago. It was easier to keep kids away from creeps. But now that people in public are constantly with smart phones and ipads out pointing everywhere, how do you know your child isn't being photographed by creeps in public?

I mean, you don't, but for a parent who is concerned about this, knowing that strangers might be photographing your kid in public is not a reason to just say "screw it, let's give everyone permission to post pics of our kids all over the internet." That doesn't make sense.

Once when I was at a kid's birthday party, there was a dad there I didn't know who made a big production of taking pictures of the birthday girl. It wasn't his daughter, he was a guest, but he made a point of pausing the festivities at one point to take photos of her. My kid was standing behind the birthday girl, with a group of other children, so they were all in the photos. Something about his behavior just sent up a big red flag, so I just quietly walked over to my kid to stand between her and the camera and pretend I had to help where with something or ask a question. The kids at recently been running through the sprinkler and were still in suits, though my DD had put a skirt back on. It still felt super sketch.

I hate feeling like I need to think about that kind of thing but... I think I do. These experiences don't make me LESS vigilant about keeping photos of my kid off the internet, they make me more vigilant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think I understood the no photos thing a few years ago. It was easier to keep kids away from creeps. But now that people in public are constantly with smart phones and ipads out pointing everywhere, how do you know your child isn't being photographed by creeps in public?

I mean, you don't, but for a parent who is concerned about this, knowing that strangers might be photographing your kid in public is not a reason to just say "screw it, let's give everyone permission to post pics of our kids all over the internet." That doesn't make sense.

Once when I was at a kid's birthday party, there was a dad there I didn't know who made a big production of taking pictures of the birthday girl. It wasn't his daughter, he was a guest, but he made a point of pausing the festivities at one point to take photos of her. My kid was standing behind the birthday girl, with a group of other children, so they were all in the photos. Something about his behavior just sent up a big red flag, so I just quietly walked over to my kid to stand between her and the camera and pretend I had to help where with something or ask a question. The kids at recently been running through the sprinkler and were still in suits, though my DD had put a skirt back on. It still felt super sketch.

I hate feeling like I need to think about that kind of thing but... I think I do. These experiences don't make me LESS vigilant about keeping photos of my kid off the internet, they make me more vigilant.

Again, paranoid. Parents have been taking photos of kids at birthday parties for generations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think I understood the no photos thing a few years ago. It was easier to keep kids away from creeps. But now that people in public are constantly with smart phones and ipads out pointing everywhere, how do you know your child isn't being photographed by creeps in public?

I mean, you don't, but for a parent who is concerned about this, knowing that strangers might be photographing your kid in public is not a reason to just say "screw it, let's give everyone permission to post pics of our kids all over the internet." That doesn't make sense.

Once when I was at a kid's birthday party, there was a dad there I didn't know who made a big production of taking pictures of the birthday girl. It wasn't his daughter, he was a guest, but he made a point of pausing the festivities at one point to take photos of her. My kid was standing behind the birthday girl, with a group of other children, so they were all in the photos. Something about his behavior just sent up a big red flag, so I just quietly walked over to my kid to stand between her and the camera and pretend I had to help where with something or ask a question. The kids at recently been running through the sprinkler and were still in suits, though my DD had put a skirt back on. It still felt super sketch.

I hate feeling like I need to think about that kind of thing but... I think I do. These experiences don't make me LESS vigilant about keeping photos of my kid off the internet, they make me more vigilant.

Again, paranoid. Parents have been taking photos of kids at birthday parties for generations.

Other people's kids? Your own kid, sure. Your own kid with the birthday kid, yes. And the hosts might take photos of the kids to commemorate the party for themselves.

Taking photos of a group of other people's kids, at a party you are not hosting, is sketch. What are the photos for? Especially if you don't even know all the kids in the photo you're taking? Why is that a memory you need to take home with you?

[Anonymous]

the whole fb sharing back to school pics thing freaked me out— I’m grateful to not be on social media and hope somehow it’s safer when my kids are big enough to us it

https://www.news18.com/world/deliberately-provocative-meta-under-fire-from-parents-after-photos-of-daughters-appear-in-targeted-ads-ws-ekl-9586914.html

[Anonymous]

I work in social media and see the dark sides. If it were up to me, there would be zero pictures of my kids, but I’ve found even when I specify no pictures, my kids end up in pictures anyway. I remember one organization that absolutely did not have my permission took a picture of my daughter and used it in multiple promotional pictures - social media, flyers, etc. It was very upsetting for me when I walked into a coffee shop and saw a stack of flyers with my daughter’s photo on them.

There’s an absolutely insane number of pedophiles out there, and they all save thousands of pictures of kids. It’s very disturbing. Even more so with AI.

[Anonymous]

context: we didn't post kids on social at all for a couple of years. As they got older, they started appearing more and more because they tag along with me when i'm out doing my thing around town and I started feeling like sharing that they're there. Even so, I still choose angles and scenes that don't show their faces.

for photo releases, I have yet to find a situation I felt comfortable approving. I don't want my kids' images in the algo and sometimes I also very specifically don't want my kids used to promote certain businesses - and for free.

[Anonymous]

OP, are you a bambini parent? The timing of this question today made me think you might be. if yes and in case it helps, we said no thank you as did most of our class as far as I know. I don't think excluding my kid from promotional material will be a "make or break" factor in helping to enrich Otter management.