Teachers, don't do this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't sit the class clown next to a quiet kid "as a punishment" - that child is not a punishment.
Don't make one kid the regular partner for a disruptive or incapable student - everyone should have to take a turn.
Don't punish the class for individual behavior.
Don't let one kid scream at or mistreat another in the name of "they have to learn to work together." No adult would have to tolerate that from a peer.

That part is patently false.

No. As an adult, you can walk away from a rude person. You can quit a job, unwise as that may be. We don't let kids walk away.
K-12 school is the only environment, other than prison, where you have no ability to leave a situation and no ability to control who is around you. That means the burden is on the school and the teacher to ensure a respectful environment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't sit the class clown next to a quiet kid "as a punishment" - that child is not a punishment.
Don't make one kid the regular partner for a disruptive or incapable student - everyone should have to take a turn.
Don't punish the class for individual behavior.
Don't let one kid scream at or mistreat another in the name of "they have to learn to work together." No adult would have to tolerate that from a peer.

That part is patently false.

No. As an adult, you can walk away from a rude person. You can quit a job, unwise as that may be. We don't let kids walk away.
K-12 school is the only environment, other than prison, where you have no ability to leave a situation and no ability to control who is around you. That means the burden is on the school and the teacher to ensure a respectful environment.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It isn’t one kid. These days it’s 1/4 of the class or more.

This is the problem. In my 5th period gen ed class of 30 high school students, I have 11 504s for adhd. All of them have the accommodation of "preferential seating near the point of instruction, away from distractions". I'd love for you to make my seating chart.

This is why to keep your kids out of gen ed. This used to be called the special ed class or the slow track.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My calm kid is always used as the therapy dog in classrooms. She hates it and we're leaving the school system.

Exactly. The reality is that, rightly or wrongly, families like ours — relatively well-resourced, with neurotypical and generally well-behaved kids — often end up being treated as resources for the system. Our children are positioned as stabilizing forces, expected to offset or buffer some of the more challenging dynamics in the classroom. And again, I’m not blaming anyone. I understand that in certain micro-level cases, this might even be the best solution for the group as a whole.

But over time, this becomes a structural feature of the system — not an occasional workaround. And what that means in practice is that the needs of the well-regulated kid, the quiet kid, the academically solid kid, get sidelined. Not maliciously, but inevitably, because there are legal, administrative, and behavioral imperatives that must be prioritized. And once you understand that dynamic, the incentive becomes clear: if you can exit to an environment where most of the families are in that same narrow band — reasonably stable home life, no major learning or behavioral hurdles — the educational experience becomes far more right-sized for your child.

That doesn’t mean it’s impossible to find in public school. But let’s be honest: the systemic incentive structure just doesn’t make that easy. So yeah, for many of us, the exit is not about elitism or snobbery — it’s just a rational response to an environment where our kids’ needs will always come second. And sometimes, third.

That’s what was great about AAP. Then in high school you stick to AP and a few honors classes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So basically no neurotypical child ever gets “preferential” seating or partners?

Lovely.

“Preferential seating” doesn’t refer to highly coveted seats that are desired by all students; it means seating a student in a location that enhances their ability to learn. Students who have trouble seeing or hearing may need to be up front. Kids who need to be seated away from distractions may need to be seated where they can’t see out the windows. Students who need frequent redirection back to their work benefit from proximity to the teacher’s desk. Generally speaking, if a child has no disabilities, their performance doesn’t vary widely based on their seating.