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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My calm kid is always used as the therapy dog in classrooms. She hates it and we're leaving the school system.[/quote]

Exactly. The reality is that, rightly or wrongly, families like ours — relatively well-resourced, with neurotypical and generally well-behaved kids — often end up being treated as resources for the system. Our children are positioned as stabilizing forces, expected to offset or buffer some of the more challenging dynamics in the classroom. And again, I’m not blaming anyone. I understand that in certain micro-level cases, this might even be the best solution for the group as a whole.

But over time, this becomes a structural feature of the system — not an occasional workaround. And what that means in practice is that the needs of the well-regulated kid, the quiet kid, the academically solid kid, get sidelined. Not maliciously, but inevitably, because there are legal, administrative, and behavioral imperatives that must be prioritized. And once you understand that dynamic, the incentive becomes clear: if you can exit to an environment where most of the families are in that same narrow band — reasonably stable home life, no major learning or behavioral hurdles — the educational experience becomes far more right-sized for your child.

That doesn’t mean it’s impossible to find in public school. But let’s be honest: the systemic incentive structure just doesn’t make that easy. So yeah, for many of us, the exit is not about elitism or snobbery — it’s just a rational response to an environment where our kids’ needs will always come second. And sometimes, third.
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That’s what was great about AAP. Then in high school you stick to AP and a few honors classes. [/quote]

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