Send to K or Hold?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for all the responses. Lots to think about.

To answer a few questions that have come up:
Why am I asking about this now when DD is only 3? The topic actually came up during DD’s preschool parent-teacher conference yesterday since it’s relevant to which Pre-K class she’ll be placed in next year. (There’s an “older” Pre-K and a “younger” Pre-K. All kids in the older class will go to K the following year. Most kids in the younger class will not. DD will likely be placed in the younger class with the other late summer birthdays, but if we know that we’ll be enrolling her in K the following year then they’d try to get her into the older class.)

Why not do K at public and then repeat K at private? This is a great idea in theory! Unfortunately I have heard from other families that the private school discourages this and will evaluate applicants currently in K for a spot in the 1st grade class unless there is a compelling reason for the child to repeat K. Most years there are no spots open in 1st grade so you are essentially applying for the wait list.

Why do I want to send DD to this private school in the first place? I’m an alum, and I feel like I got a great education there. That being said, we always thought we’d send DD to our well-regarded public elementary and try to apply in to the private for middle school. (It’s a K-12 school.) However, as we’ve learned more about just how much Chromebooks and learning apps are used in the classroom in public starting in K, we’ve changed our minds. The private school does no laptops in the classroom until 3rd grade. Younger kids have “technology lab” once a week, and that’s it. Laptop use in the classroom is limited until the kids reach middle school. That fact alone makes going private for elementary worth it in my opinion.

It sounds like the younger PreK class would keep options open, and allow her a chance to experience leadership, which will serve her well if she's going to K as the youngest. I wouldn't try to get her into the other class. I'm not sure what benefit there would be.

Since you're talking about a specific school, then I'd go to admissions events, and talk to admissions about this question. We can't tell you whether your kid will be ready for that specific kindergarten, because each school is different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for all the responses. Lots to think about.

To answer a few questions that have come up:
Why am I asking about this now when DD is only 3? The topic actually came up during DD’s preschool parent-teacher conference yesterday since it’s relevant to which Pre-K class she’ll be placed in next year. (There’s an “older” Pre-K and a “younger” Pre-K. All kids in the older class will go to K the following year. Most kids in the younger class will not. DD will likely be placed in the younger class with the other late summer birthdays, but if we know that we’ll be enrolling her in K the following year then they’d try to get her into the older class.)

Why not do K at public and then repeat K at private? This is a great idea in theory! Unfortunately I have heard from other families that the private school discourages this and will evaluate applicants currently in K for a spot in the 1st grade class unless there is a compelling reason for the child to repeat K. Most years there are no spots open in 1st grade so you are essentially applying for the wait list.

Why do I want to send DD to this private school in the first place? I’m an alum, and I feel like I got a great education there. That being said, we always thought we’d send DD to our well-regarded public elementary and try to apply in to the private for middle school. (It’s a K-12 school.) However, as we’ve learned more about just how much Chromebooks and learning apps are used in the classroom in public starting in K, we’ve changed our minds. The private school does no laptops in the classroom until 3rd grade. Younger kids have “technology lab” once a week, and that’s it. Laptop use in the classroom is limited until the kids reach middle school. That fact alone makes going private for elementary worth it in my opinion.

OK what kind of a preK is this -- are most kids going to public or private? Just curious because I'm a little surprised it's not just a standard preK, but maybe it's beside the point....
I would ask the preschool more about her current "readiness" for the older class versus the current one and try to get her the right fit for right now. I understand your reasons for preferring private elementary school. We went public but felt that pull as well. I wonder if a different private would be an option if they want to redshirt her and you don't think it's necessary? This is all down to personal preference, of course, and may not be an issue if you decide you're happy delaying.

[Anonymous]

My daughter went to a school where the cut off was December and the girls were not held back. You couldn’t tell who had what birthday unless they were friends. My point is it’s not that big of a deal. Most girls that age would be bored by a third year of pre-k or preschool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for all the responses. Lots to think about.

To answer a few questions that have come up:
Why am I asking about this now when DD is only 3? The topic actually came up during DD’s preschool parent-teacher conference yesterday since it’s relevant to which Pre-K class she’ll be placed in next year. (There’s an “older” Pre-K and a “younger” Pre-K. All kids in the older class will go to K the following year. Most kids in the younger class will not. DD will likely be placed in the younger class with the other late summer birthdays, but if we know that we’ll be enrolling her in K the following year then they’d try to get her into the older class.)

Why not do K at public and then repeat K at private? This is a great idea in theory! Unfortunately I have heard from other families that the private school discourages this and will evaluate applicants currently in K for a spot in the 1st grade class unless there is a compelling reason for the child to repeat K. Most years there are no spots open in 1st grade so you are essentially applying for the wait list.

Why do I want to send DD to this private school in the first place? I’m an alum, and I feel like I got a great education there. That being said, we always thought we’d send DD to our well-regarded public elementary and try to apply in to the private for middle school. (It’s a K-12 school.) However, as we’ve learned more about just how much Chromebooks and learning apps are used in the classroom in public starting in K, we’ve changed our minds. The private school does no laptops in the classroom until 3rd grade. Younger kids have “technology lab” once a week, and that’s it. Laptop use in the classroom is limited until the kids reach middle school. That fact alone makes going private for elementary worth it in my opinion.

I would not do public K at all then. Just hold and go right to private as she turns 6. But as for the preK room, I think I would prefer to her to do an extra yr in the older preK room vs an extra year in the younger room. If she is ready to move up, move her up and then just keep her there

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for all the responses. Lots to think about.

To answer a few questions that have come up:
Why am I asking about this now when DD is only 3? The topic actually came up during DD’s preschool parent-teacher conference yesterday since it’s relevant to which Pre-K class she’ll be placed in next year. (There’s an “older” Pre-K and a “younger” Pre-K. All kids in the older class will go to K the following year. Most kids in the younger class will not. DD will likely be placed in the younger class with the other late summer birthdays, but if we know that we’ll be enrolling her in K the following year then they’d try to get her into the older class.)

Why not do K at public and then repeat K at private? This is a great idea in theory! Unfortunately I have heard from other families that the private school discourages this and will evaluate applicants currently in K for a spot in the 1st grade class unless there is a compelling reason for the child to repeat K. Most years there are no spots open in 1st grade so you are essentially applying for the wait list.

Why do I want to send DD to this private school in the first place? I’m an alum, and I feel like I got a great education there. That being said, we always thought we’d send DD to our well-regarded public elementary and try to apply in to the private for middle school. (It’s a K-12 school.) However, as we’ve learned more about just how much Chromebooks and learning apps are used in the classroom in public starting in K, we’ve changed our minds. The private school does no laptops in the classroom until 3rd grade. Younger kids have “technology lab” once a week, and that’s it. Laptop use in the classroom is limited until the kids reach middle school. That fact alone makes going private for elementary worth it in my opinion.

OK what kind of a preK is this -- are most kids going to public or private? Just curious because I'm a little surprised it's not just a standard preK, but maybe it's beside the point....
I would ask the preschool more about her current "readiness" for the older class versus the current one and try to get her the right fit for right now. I understand your reasons for preferring private elementary school. We went public but felt that pull as well. I wonder if a different private would be an option if they want to redshirt her and you don't think it's necessary? This is all down to personal preference, of course, and may not be an issue if you decide you're happy delaying.

OP here. The way my daughter’s preschool names their classes is confusing. The 2YO and younger 3s classes are called “preschool.” Then there are two “Pre-K” classes. The older class is all 4-5 YOs who will start K the following year. The younger class is 3.5-4 YOs, most of whom will move up to the older Pre-K the following year. It depends on the year, but around 60% of kids usually move on to private school and 40% move on to public.

We’ll discuss our options with the admissions staff at the private school in the fall no matter what. I just feel like we’re in an odd situation where we are dealing with two different cut-offs (one unofficial), and DD will make one but miss the other. Was just curious how others had handled similar situations!

[Anonymous]

HOLD! We had same situation and held. She was the oldest by a few weeks in her public school K class, but when we moved her to private, there were tons of birthdays way earlier in the summer.

Never regretted.

She's very bright but never encountered any of this - she's bored, too bright. etc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the issue is that kindergarten is too academic and it can be hard for kids to sit still. The research is so clear that play based curriculums are best for preschool, and it is a really abrupt shift to kindergarten, at least in most settings I am familiar with.

I don’t think you can decide now. I’d wait until it’s time to apply/register for K and decide based on what happens based on where your child is at that point. Although older kids often do better, plenty of young ones do fine too.

Its not too academic. Its school. Play based is not best for all kids. We removed our child from a play based preschool to a more academic one where they thrived and were prepared. People like you don't prepare their kids and then have all kinds of excuses.

Uh okay. My kids are doing great in school so I don’t need excuses. Nevertheless I thought most agreed that K these days has too much sitting, too much testing, too much pressure. I think it’s a shame but my kids have been fine thank you.

Then why not homeschool. You are making excuses and pushes others to hike back to justify your actions. Your kids are not age appropriate and that’s not healthy. I us not to much sitting and texting is necessary to make sure they are on target and don’t need extra help. How is k pressure? K is if anything very basic for those of us who worked with our kids and prepared them. I thought it was a huge waste of time as it was basically a holding grade so kids like yours could catch up to mine.

There are those of us who feel the kindergarten curriculum and structure is inappropriate for a 4 year old or just turned 5 year old, especially when the expectations are compared to kids who are an entire year older than they are. We don’t think it’s appropriate to have to “prepare” a 3 year old to enter kindergarten at 4 and sit all day.

+1, though not even from a redshirting perspective. My kid was 5.5 (so no question about the age cutoff) and she tested 98% for math, so she was academically more than ready and has been fine in school. That said, I disagree with the kindergarten curriculum. There should be more play. Sitting all day is hard at that age, and more time sitting does not actually improve their longterm academic performance. Unfortunately my daughter reported that they got a bunch of brain breaks that were screen time. It was disappointing to me to see my kid go from loving preK to being super bored in kindergarten.

School is for learning. They can play before school, after school and on weekends.

[Anonymous]

My apologies for just scanning this thread overall, but I wanted to add a dissenting voice that I am so glad my parents sent me to school (late December birthday with a 5 by 1/1 kindergarten cut off) instead of holding me. I did feel small and young in early elementary school, but it was a non-issue later on. Girls are developmentally ready earlier than boys, and I would have been frustrated and bored in class with boys a year younger than I was. I liked finishing college at 21, having my masters at 22, and buying a condo at 25. Getting launched early had financial and social benefits for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My apologies for just scanning this thread overall, but I wanted to add a dissenting voice that I am so glad my parents sent me to school (late December birthday with a 5 by 1/1 kindergarten cut off) instead of holding me. I did feel small and young in early elementary school, but it was a non-issue later on. Girls are developmentally ready earlier than boys, and I would have been frustrated and bored in class with boys a year younger than I was. I liked finishing college at 21, having my masters at 22, and buying a condo at 25. Getting launched early had financial and social benefits for me.

This is irrelevant in today’s educational landscape

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My apologies for just scanning this thread overall, but I wanted to add a dissenting voice that I am so glad my parents sent me to school (late December birthday with a 5 by 1/1 kindergarten cut off) instead of holding me. I did feel small and young in early elementary school, but it was a non-issue later on. Girls are developmentally ready earlier than boys, and I would have been frustrated and bored in class with boys a year younger than I was. I liked finishing college at 21, having my masters at 22, and buying a condo at 25. Getting launched early had financial and social benefits for me.

I'll agree with you on the other end. I missed the cutoff by 2 days (private was an option to get around this) and being the oldest in my grade who hadn't been intentionally held was horrible socially and academically. I was bored and played babysitter for years with some of those boys. This sounds dramatic but the decision not to push was probably my parent's worst parenting decision. As it were, I left for greener pastures at 15 so they didn't even get that extra time they thought they would. I would be very hesitant to hold back a socially and academically mature and advanced girl. It sucked!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the issue is that kindergarten is too academic and it can be hard for kids to sit still. The research is so clear that play based curriculums are best for preschool, and it is a really abrupt shift to kindergarten, at least in most settings I am familiar with.

I don’t think you can decide now. I’d wait until it’s time to apply/register for K and decide based on what happens based on where your child is at that point. Although older kids often do better, plenty of young ones do fine too.

Its not too academic. Its school. Play based is not best for all kids. We removed our child from a play based preschool to a more academic one where they thrived and were prepared. People like you don't prepare their kids and then have all kinds of excuses.

Uh okay. My kids are doing great in school so I don’t need excuses. Nevertheless I thought most agreed that K these days has too much sitting, too much testing, too much pressure. I think it’s a shame but my kids have been fine thank you.

Then why not homeschool. You are making excuses and pushes others to hike back to justify your actions. Your kids are not age appropriate and that’s not healthy. I us not to much sitting and texting is necessary to make sure they are on target and don’t need extra help. How is k pressure? K is if anything very basic for those of us who worked with our kids and prepared them. I thought it was a huge waste of time as it was basically a holding grade so kids like yours could catch up to mine.

There are those of us who feel the kindergarten curriculum and structure is inappropriate for a 4 year old or just turned 5 year old, especially when the expectations are compared to kids who are an entire year older than they are. We don’t think it’s appropriate to have to “prepare” a 3 year old to enter kindergarten at 4 and sit all day.

+1, though not even from a redshirting perspective. My kid was 5.5 (so no question about the age cutoff) and she tested 98% for math, so she was academically more than ready and has been fine in school. That said, I disagree with the kindergarten curriculum. There should be more play. Sitting all day is hard at that age, and more time sitting does not actually improve their longterm academic performance. Unfortunately my daughter reported that they got a bunch of brain breaks that were screen time. It was disappointing to me to see my kid go from loving preK to being super bored in kindergarten.

School is for learning. They can play before school, after school and on weekends.

My kids have been fine, but I think overall when you make school a place where kids want to be, they learn more and do better. I strongly disagree with the idea that more is more when it comes to time spent sitting or looking at iPads.

[Anonymous]

Do you want your 13 year old in high school
With 19 year olds? It’s not about K it’s the older ages. Wouldn’t you want another year with her vs sending her to college at 17?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the issue is that kindergarten is too academic and it can be hard for kids to sit still. The research is so clear that play based curriculums are best for preschool, and it is a really abrupt shift to kindergarten, at least in most settings I am familiar with.

I don’t think you can decide now. I’d wait until it’s time to apply/register for K and decide based on what happens based on where your child is at that point. Although older kids often do better, plenty of young ones do fine too.

Its not too academic. Its school. Play based is not best for all kids. We removed our child from a play based preschool to a more academic one where they thrived and were prepared. People like you don't prepare their kids and then have all kinds of excuses.

Uh okay. My kids are doing great in school so I don’t need excuses. Nevertheless I thought most agreed that K these days has too much sitting, too much testing, too much pressure. I think it’s a shame but my kids have been fine thank you.

Then why not homeschool. You are making excuses and pushes others to hike back to justify your actions. Your kids are not age appropriate and that’s not healthy. I us not to much sitting and texting is necessary to make sure they are on target and don’t need extra help. How is k pressure? K is if anything very basic for those of us who worked with our kids and prepared them. I thought it was a huge waste of time as it was basically a holding grade so kids like yours could catch up to mine.

There are those of us who feel the kindergarten curriculum and structure is inappropriate for a 4 year old or just turned 5 year old, especially when the expectations are compared to kids who are an entire year older than they are. We don’t think it’s appropriate to have to “prepare” a 3 year old to enter kindergarten at 4 and sit all day.

+1, though not even from a redshirting perspective. My kid was 5.5 (so no question about the age cutoff) and she tested 98% for math, so she was academically more than ready and has been fine in school. That said, I disagree with the kindergarten curriculum. There should be more play. Sitting all day is hard at that age, and more time sitting does not actually improve their longterm academic performance. Unfortunately my daughter reported that they got a bunch of brain breaks that were screen time. It was disappointing to me to see my kid go from loving preK to being super bored in kindergarten.

School is for learning. They can play before school, after school and on weekends.

My kids have been fine, but I think overall when you make school a place where kids want to be, they learn more and do better. I strongly disagree with the idea that more is more when it comes to time spent sitting or looking at iPads.

Its ironic parents complain their kids are on ipads when they spend so much time online posting. Its K, its about learning. They can play at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you want your 13 year old in high school
With 19 year olds? It’s not about K it’s the older ages. Wouldn’t you want another year with her vs sending her to college at 17?

A week before she turns 18!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you want your 13 year old in high school
With 19 year olds? It’s not about K it’s the older ages. Wouldn’t you want another year with her vs sending her to college at 17?

My freshman was taking classes with juniors and seniors... why would you hold back a child from school bearing SN? Most of these kids would be turning 18 and a few weeks makes no difference. You don't make your kids smarter by holding them back, you are dumbing them down by not having them with age and grade-appropriate peers. Your kid is older, they are not a leader, as they are older and not true peers.