Dating a hygiene obsessed person

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldnt recommend having children with someone this rigid. He's pestering you, a grown adult, how horrible is he going to be to messy crazy children?

It's the rigidity that does it for me too, not just about showering. There's no way this doesn't manifest in other areas and I don't get along well with inflexible people, so he's a solid no for me. Kids with people like this is hard.

Agree.

OP, what’s you intimate time like? Does he go downtown? Does he even like being intimate?

OP here. We have daily sex and he always goes down on me. I have even asked him if I smell or something but he said no. He happily goes down on me each night before bed.

He loves being intimate. We are always kissing, cuddling, and just hugging and touching each other. We have a very playful and loving relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What would he say if you proposed a camping trip? Have you ever been on vacation together?

OP here. We have gone camping and on trips. We stay in a tent but always go to a campsite with a shower and he still showers 2-3 times a day because it’s relaxing and he doesn’t like being sweating. He will take cool showers in the summer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Apparently OP just wants to hear herself talk.

Cool, 👍

Yep. Why bother posting here if you're just going to piss away everyone's differing opinions. You clearly know what you're going to do.

We'll see you back here in 4 years when you have toddlers and the controlling behavior is driving you crazy.

OP here. More of a vent and commiseration than a question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Apparently OP just wants to hear herself talk.

Cool, 👍

Yep. Why bother posting here if you're just going to piss away everyone's differing opinions. You clearly know what you're going to do.

We'll see you back here in 4 years when you have toddlers and the controlling behavior is driving you crazy.

OP here. More of a vent and commiseration than a question.

Honestly, OP, you should not marry this guy. Everyone is right. You don't want to hear it. I don't know why you even posted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Apparently OP just wants to hear herself talk.

Cool, 👍

Yep. Why bother posting here if you're just going to piss away everyone's differing opinions. You clearly know what you're going to do.

We'll see you back here in 4 years when you have toddlers and the controlling behavior is driving you crazy.

OP here. More of a vent and commiseration than a question.

Honestly, OP, you should not marry this guy. Everyone is right. You don't want to hear it. I don't know why you even posted.

Maybe he makes a lot of money and OP has "green" eyes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. He also hates if I don’t make the bed because he loves a made bed. I’ve never dated a man that was this stringent with his hygiene. I do appreciate he takes care of his hygiene, but it’s a little extreme for me.

He’s not weird about sex or anything other than he just likes “showering the day away” as he says. He finds the hot water relaxes his body. Often times he doesn’t even really wash up except for his groin area and his face.

I don’t think I need a shower at 9pm if I showered after a workout at 6pm. I’m clean and don’t smell.

I don’t think he has OCD because he doesn’t have issues in other areas of his life. His just a little hygiene obsessed.

No, he’s controlling and obsessive and as time goes on, it will get worse. Do yourself a favor and break up and move out.

[Anonymous]

OP, honestly, he's perfect for me. I'm like him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He sounds prissy.

Probably OCD or some other untreated mental issue. Hard pass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, honestly, he's perfect for me. I'm like him.

troll

[Anonymous]

Have you told him you don’t want to be pressured about showering, and to please stop asking you if you are going to shower before bed? Have you told him it bothers you?

If not, do. What happens next will tell you everything. Either he stops (even if he makes a mistake and apologizes) or he continues. If he continues he is either unable to stop himself due to some sort of obsession or compulsions, or he really can’t respect your choices.

[Anonymous]

OP, imagine a time in the future when you're married and have kids. Family life is stressful and you're feeling like you don't always like your husband. You love him but he's driving you crazy as any spouse can. Maybe he's resentful of X, Y, Z. You've both left behind the niceties.

He won't be politely asking if you can shower. He'll be telling you you're nasty for not showering on demand. Maybe when he's especially grumpy he'll sleep on the sofa -- or you will because you're feeling rejected or bullied. Your self esteem may be suffering, or you'll have just taken to rolling your eyes at him when he starts with his crap.

What people are trying to tell you is that this will get worse. You both may be playful and loving now, but what does this look like in the future?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:3 showers a day is ridiculous. 2 showers a day as a regular occurrence is also ridiculous.

Both of you need to stop wasting water.

OP here. Most people shower each morning. How can you go to work and not shower? That’s just nasty.

Again, how can you not shower after working out? That’s nasty.

It is better to shower at night than the morning for hygenic reasons. (better to be clean when sleeping on sheets)/

There is no need to shower at night AND in the morning.

Most people don't work out every day.

Showering 2-3 times a day is really bad for your skin and a waste of water.

By the way, little kids should not be bathed more than 2 or 3 times a week. It dries out their skin and can cause eczema flare ups. Don't have kids with this main.

Showering once a day and after workouts is normal.

Showering 2-3 times a day is excessive and abnormal.

NP

Um, no. My kids get bathed almost every day. But they love being outside and active and don’t have eczema issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What would he say if you proposed a camping trip? Have you ever been on vacation together?

OP here. We have gone camping and on trips. We stay in a tent but always go to a campsite with a shower and he still showers 2-3 times a day because it’s relaxing and he doesn’t like being sweating. He will take cool showers in the summer.

OMG, this guy! Whatever. Have a good life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He sounds prissy.

Probably OCD or some other untreated mental issue. Hard pass.

This. And it will get worse as he ages. Throw in kids and the stresses of life and OP is in for a treat.

But she doesn’t want to hear it. So go away and go shower or something, OP.

[Anonymous]

If it was just you and him, this would be manageable. You could compromise and shower before bed, and let him wash the sheets often.

If you have kids, I think this guy will drive you nuts. Kids will drive him nuts. I can't see someone this particular being an easy person to coparent with.