Dating a hygiene obsessed person

[Anonymous]

I am not a big fan of getting into need with someone who hasn't showered all day depending on the day. Many people get sweaty / dirty during the day due to the work they do, the places they went, the activities they partook in, the weather, the geography (sandy, muddy, dusty etc). I don't think the only requirement for a shower is a workout.

Showering before sex is pretty basic hygiene to me if you haven't showered all day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:3 showers a day is ridiculous. 2 showers a day as a regular occurrence is also ridiculous.

Both of you need to stop wasting water.

OP here. Most people shower each morning. How can you go to work and not shower? That’s just nasty.

Again, how can you not shower after working out? That’s nasty.

It is better to shower at night than the morning for hygenic reasons. (better to be clean when sleeping on sheets)/

There is no need to shower at night AND in the morning.

Most people don't work out every day.

Showering 2-3 times a day is really bad for your skin and a waste of water.

By the way, little kids should not be bathed more than 2 or 3 times a week. It dries out their skin and can cause eczema flare ups. Don't have kids with this main.

Showering once a day and after workouts is normal.

Showering 2-3 times a day is excessive and abnormal.

Assuming that one has a desk job in a building kept at reasonable temperatures relative to whatever season it happens to be,
a morning shower before work and another one following an afternoon workout seem normal, as does only a morning shower before work on days with no later workout.

Insisting that someone take a shower at 10.00pm when that individual just showered at 6.00pm is controlling and excessive.
This person isn't partner material, let alone parent material. Leave this f----r, and definitely don't have kids with him.


But honestly, your partner doesn't sound like partner material

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, imagine a time in the future when you're married and have kids. Family life is stressful and you're feeling like you don't always like your husband. You love him but he's driving you crazy as any spouse can. Maybe he's resentful of X, Y, Z. You've both left behind the niceties.

He won't be politely asking if you can shower. He'll be telling you you're nasty for not showering on demand. Maybe when he's especially grumpy he'll sleep on the sofa -- or you will because you're feeling rejected or bullied. Your self esteem may be suffering, or you'll have just taken to rolling your eyes at him when he starts with his crap.

What people are trying to tell you is that this will get worse. You both may be playful and loving now, but what does this look like in the future?

Not to mention he will be showering all day while you deal with everything kid and house related!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My boyfriend and I have been living together for 6 months and hygiene is a big contention in our relationship. He’s a 3 shower a day person and I shower 1-2 times a day. He often gets annoyed that I won’t shower before bed. This issue is causing tension in our relationship and might lead to a breakup.

He is OCD, once honeymoon hormones decline, you'll be perpetually annoyed and inconvenienced by this behavior.

[Anonymous]

Keep yo cooch clean.

[Anonymous]

My husband is just like OP's boyfriend. This will not go away, and you will have to adapt, or find ways to cope with it. If you can't do that now, it will never get better
In fact, my husband has gotten more particular in his older age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This kind of OCD or anxiety disorder does not bode well at all. I'd move on, OP.

Do either of you have kids?

+1
It gets worse from here. Next it's the dishes must immediately put away from the dishwasher or the laundry must be folded while hot. You never know where it goes. My husband gets mad if I put my shoes next to the full rack by the door rather than reorganizing the entire thing to take shoes upstairs while I'm in a hurry. And he's only a 2x/day shower person. So annoying. He also gets upset if I leave my handbag, that I plan to take out with me again, on the rack between uses - because, of course, I should run that upstairs and tuck it neatly away in a drawer before I use it 20 min later.

[Anonymous]

There are medications that can help with this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are medications that can help with this.

And why do we need to over medicate people and simultaneously complain there is a drug/over prescription problem in the country?

A little empathy goes a long way. This guy will find a woman who can deal with his crap without him needing to be medicated, I'm sure of it.

[Anonymous]

I really hope OP has already broken up with this guy. You are not compatible, and he needs to find a partner who has the same habits he does, because they are unusual.

[Anonymous]

Is this you OP
https://www.washingtonpost.com/advice/2024/01/08/carolyn-hax-clean-husband-wife-showers/

[Anonymous]

I know someone who married a guy like this. She laughed it off when leading up to the wedding but it's no longer that way. He is controlling, OCD about everything in their home and with their children. Gives off 'Sleeping with the Enemy' vibes.

[Anonymous]

I shower once a day unless I got really dirty or sweaty working outside. I can't imagine doing it at 6:00 and then again at 9:00 if all you did was eat dinner and hang out. Yes. this is 100% OCD.

[Anonymous]

Yuck. People who are obsessed with hygiene are the worst. I don't know what smell they are trying to cover but I'd rather smell sweat than have to deal with the pressure to alter my schedule to bathe more when I feel no need. Especially for a guy to be this way- gross.