Husband breaking my trust

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So he sets out ten minutes late because he’s on the phone with his boss. What should he do, hang up on him because he has a nagging wife? And why does it reduce dinner time to only 15 minutes? He must be a saint married to someone like you.

What he should do is not agree to thinge he can't accomplish in real life.

[Anonymous]

You are wrong

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So he sets out ten minutes late because he’s on the phone with his boss. What should he do, hang up on him because he has a nagging wife? And why does it reduce dinner time to only 15 minutes? He must be a saint married to someone like you.

I'm not OP but I thought she made it pretty clear that her older child had evening activities, so presumably that means they have to leave the house at 6:30, for example, so if they sit down at 6, then they have 30 minutes for dinner. If they sit down at 6:15 because her husband picked the younger child up later, then they only have 15 minutes.

OP, I'll say that this season of life will pass (when you have one in daycare and on doing activities), so if I were you I would be willing to adopt a little flexibility here. Maybe don't plan to eat dinner together every night, or at least the nights you have other activities. That's just one example, but there are lots of ways I think you can relax a little here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like he DGAF about dinner, the daycare teachers, and the kid activity. Men do what's important to them, that's the bottom line.

Correct, ensuring that the boss is happy so he can continue providing for his family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why can't he get in the car while on the phone?

But yes, you're overreacting and seem like a micromanager

DP
If I did this, I would lose my job! We have safety rules and this is directly against one of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So he sets out ten minutes late because he’s on the phone with his boss. What should he do, hang up on him because he has a nagging wife? And why does it reduce dinner time to only 15 minutes? He must be a saint married to someone like you.

I'm not OP but I thought she made it pretty clear that her older child had evening activities, so presumably that means they have to leave the house at 6:30, for example, so if they sit down at 6, then they have 30 minutes for dinner. If they sit down at 6:15 because her husband picked the younger child up later, then they only have 15 minutes.

OP, I'll say that this season of life will pass (when you have one in daycare and on doing activities), so if I were you I would be willing to adopt a little flexibility here. Maybe don't plan to eat dinner together every night, or at least the nights you have other activities. That's just one example, but there are lots of ways I think you can relax a little here.

It happened once There has to be room in life for flexibility, if the schedule is so tight that they can't err 10 minutes something is wrong


And no one doesn't just tell their boss I'll talk to you later when the situation y not rmergent

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like he DGAF about dinner, the daycare teachers, and the kid activity. Men do what's important to them, that's the bottom line.

Correct, ensuring that the boss is happy so he can continue providing for his family.

Exactly. I'm sure there would be no activities if dad lost job

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like he DGAF about dinner, the daycare teachers, and the kid activity. Men do what's important to them, that's the bottom line.

Correct, ensuring that the boss is happy so he can continue providing for his family.

Exactly. I'm sure there would be no activities if dad lost job

So if he really can't leave on time, why did he tell his wife that he could?

[Anonymous]

People are taken advantage of by their superiors because they let them. If he said, let me call you back once I pick up my kid the boss would have said no problem.

[Anonymous]

Have him do the AM drop. You do the PM pick up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People are taken advantage of by their superiors because they let them. If he said, let me call you back once I pick up my kid the boss would have said no problem.

Agree! Women have careers too, yet somehow manage both.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People are taken advantage of by their superiors because they let them. If he said, let me call you back once I pick up my kid the boss would have said no problem.

Agree! Women have careers too, yet somehow manage both.

Maybe because they do not have micro managing nagging husbands?

[Anonymous]

Most jobs are not 9-5. Hire help.

[Anonymous]

Op, it will drive me crazy too, but I am also pretty anxious and controlling. I recognize that I have a problem but unlike you, I do not blame my husband. I am extremely rigid about time, schedule and routines so I am the one who does most of it. Frankly, I would rather my kids to grow up like my husband. My advice to you is to know what is important for you and DO IT YOURSELF.

[Anonymous]

You seem a bit unhinged, op. My husband also works longer then expected sometimes and no he can’t just hang up on the boss. I don’t know why he couldn’t talk and drive, but what I don’t understand is why you didn’t just go get the kid you wanted home so badly since you had the ability to do it. I don’t understand that. It’s not like you couldn’t, you just plain didn’t want to.
If it helps, daycares are easier on dads then they are moms. When daycare has had enough, they will tell him. If you are worried they will lay into you, your husband now does all daycare pickup and drop off.
Strange that you bring up your background, really op, nobody gives an f. This is a you problem, and not really a problem as you could have seen your husband was on the phone, thank your lucky stars he works from home (that wasn’t an option when our oldest was little) and go get your kids. You can also quit work, that’s one way to not have to deal with daycare again. Your husband didn’t break your trust, op. He was working and you clearly know that. Just as daycare is rough on moms, work isn’t. Women can get by with saying “Gotta get my kids” in a way men just can’t. Women can also quit work indefinitely in a way men cannot so it balances out since balance seems to matter to you.
Boomer alert, but you guys seriously have no idea how good you have it and yet you still fight about the same s**** my husband and I fought over fifteen years ago. Why? There truly is no need for this, and there really isn’t a need to imply that you can’t trust your husband until the end of time. You need help, op and help isn’t announcing a bunch of psychobabble and saying “This is how it is”. Nobody cares, nobody needs to put up with it and in time your husband won’t either.