DH's family.....sigh.....

[Anonymous]

So, one of my nieces is getting married soon and having a destination wedding. Her parents are wealthy. The rest of the family is not; we are solidly middle class, maybe some of us are upper middle class, but we all work and putting are kids through preschool and college, etc.. But all their friends are and everyone they run around with is. Quite wealthy, in fact.

So, the hotel where they're having the festivities is $400 a night. There is pressure to stay 3-4 nights and that is just way out of our budget. We have to fly there; we have kids and the kids are going to be in the wedding (we haven't even gotten to the cost of dressing them up and getting hair done, etc.) I don't begrudge them having money, but I do think they should have considered having a second hotel somewhere close where those of us who don't have what they have can stay without breaking the bank. We can certainly find our own place to stay, but I think they will be offended.

We have some time to figure all this out; the wedding isn't for awhile, but man, I guess I'm just surprised at how clueless they are. Our niece's father made some snarky comment about the cost of the hotel, saying 'been awhile since you stayed in a hotel, huh?'

Um, no, but ever heard of a Marriott?

[Anonymous]

How old are your kids? Are they old enough that being in the wedding is something they can definitely do (at least 4?)? If not, back out of them being in the wedding party, asap.

Can your parents watch them while you and DH just do a quick there and back for the wedding?

[Anonymous]

Don't attend the wedding. Problem solved!

[Anonymous]

I would be annoyed, they are just not thoughtful.

If you are committed to going, I would definitely book a lower-priced hotel and just laugh it off if they say anything snarky. And do some fun stuff on the trip that you want to do-to help you feel better about making the trip.

[Anonymous]

We are in the same position, so I offer my sympathies. Our family member chose the St. Regis! Even with the room discount, it is over $800/night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't attend the wedding. Problem solved!

For some families, this would set off WWIII and it just isn't worth the problems it will cause.

[Anonymous]

I'd find another place and stay there. If they're offended, just say that that hotel is what works for you.

Otherwise, skip the wedding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd find another place and stay there. If they're offended, just say that that hotel is what works for you.

Otherwise, skip the wedding.

Plus 1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd find another place and stay there. If they're offended, just say that that hotel is what works for you.

Otherwise, skip the wedding.

Good advice. I'd look for a condo or something similar and explain that it's just easier for your family. No need to be at the suggested hotel. You'll have plenty of interaction at all the events; always nice to have your own spot and be able to retreat a bit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd find another place and stay there. If they're offended, just say that that hotel is what works for you.

Otherwise, skip the wedding.

+1.

Perhaps you can find a nice nearby place via airbnb?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd find another place and stay there. If they're offended, just say that that hotel is what works for you.

Otherwise, skip the wedding.

This is great advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't attend the wedding. Problem solved!

For some families, this would set off WWIII and it just isn't worth the problems it will cause.

Doormat mentality.

[Anonymous]

What's stopping you from staying at a nearby hotel?

[Anonymous]

Another plus one for staying at another hotel or finding a condo rental. if asked, just say you wanted more space or that you have hotel points.

[Anonymous]

Look up an AirBnb that you can rent out for your family that's close enough. If they get offended, just be honest - this was in your budget, the wedding hotel was not.