Should financial aid in private school be stricter?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you cannot afford private school tuition for your kids, that is your own fault. Stop blaming other people or getting angry at the financial aid systems.

Look in the mirror, and figure out why your finances are not in better shape. You can apply for financial aid, but realize there is a very limited amount of philanthropy available.

Financial aid is not the problem. Your terrible finances are the problem. Own your mistakes.

Sure. Financial aid is working perfectly—based on the available data.

Oh wait, there is no data. Never mind. Feel free to keep donating money based on opaque decisions.

Complaining about financial aid is like complaining about the free food at a food pantry. It is money donated and given as philanthropy. You really need to get a life.

No. Complaining about financial aid is like complaining about people with bmws going to get food at the food bank.

Not at all. Private schools and donors are doing exactly what they want to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you cannot afford private school tuition for your kids, that is your own fault. Stop blaming other people or getting angry at the financial aid systems.

Look in the mirror, and figure out why your finances are not in better shape. You can apply for financial aid, but realize there is a very limited amount of philanthropy available.

Financial aid is not the problem. Your terrible finances are the problem. Own your mistakes.

Sure. Financial aid is working perfectly—based on the available data.

Oh wait, there is no data. Never mind. Feel free to keep donating money based on opaque decisions.

Complaining about financial aid is like complaining about the free food at a food pantry. It is money donated and given as philanthropy. You really need to get a life.

No. Complaining about financial aid is like complaining about people with bmws going to get food at the food bank.

Not at all. Private schools and donors are doing exactly what they want to do.

Of course, since there is full disclosure everybody knows exactly how their donations are spent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Private schools are not a monolith but your crusade is an interesting one

Unfortunately I cannot say the same about your comment.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:This thread is something else.

It’s very revealing about how parents think about inclusion. And how upper middle class families feel entitled to financial aid.

Let's get real: This thread is a poster child of the seething elitism that permeates at least the striver subculture in NOVA. They want to be the lords of their newfound elite fiefdom, didn't you hear they "made it" y'all, and they are obnoxiously rude to anybody they perceive as earning less HHI than them, like middle class parents, and wish to trash and exclude them like a school bully. It's very high school. But, they post a meme once a year about caring for the poors or whatever is fashionable to try to cloak the stench of their bully poo - like spraying secret deodorant on pits without showering a month. Nope, you still stink as a human being.

In your example a full pay striver who "made it" doesn't want a "low income" kid. Actually, IRL that persona WOULD want a low income kid. Why? That kid has zero possibility to compete with theirs in the social landscape. The ones that they would want to EXCLUDE in your example would be the middle class kids. Why? Because most of these strivers pull up the ladder behind them. This has been demonstrated over and over and over in literature about minority groups in organizations.

So, let me get this straight - you would prefer that the striving UMC pull up the ladders behind them that would allow a larger portion of middle class families access to private education in lieu of a tiny sub-population of truly low income deserving kids? So wierd.

I support deserving middle class financial aid. It helps the largest number of students. More people helped = better for my dollars. Period.

I never mentioned the hypothetical low income students. I said middle class.

But please, humor me - at what schools are "LOW INCOME" families applying to in droves and their financial aid is snatched up by middle class folks. Tell me all about it

Lol!
I think we might be in aggressive agreement then. There are no droves of low income kids snatching money from middle class kids.

Say your financial aid pot is 100k. You can fully fund 2 low income kids or partially fund 10 MC kids. I'd fund 10 MC kids.

Specially if your kid is one of the 10.

Probably true. But also true for me and I donate in the upper tier of the school.

Oh really. I am glad that your school discloses that data. I hope they also disclose the incomes of families receiving financial aid.

They only disclose it upon request. I'm on the financial aid committee and board.

Wow, could a $125k single mom with 1 kid, a home valued at 345k, and a 310k mortgage balance get aid?

Yes, but apply to the schools with the deep pockets. They are on this list https://danielheider.com/blog/the-top-7-most-exclusive-and-expensive-private-schools-in-the-greater-washington-dc-area

[Anonymous]

When donors contribute to financial aid campaigns they are showing trust in their chosen school community to make decisions that strengthen the whole community.

If OP's DC was not accepted into the school community of her choice, it's not because of how much aid they needed--it's because the school didn't see a value-add. If OP is already at a school and disagrees with how donations are used, then she should certainly use her feet to move to a school that aligns with her strong beliefs.

What OP is not allowed to do is enter a desired school community and harass others for their decisions that led to her desiring that community in the first place. We are talking about building and maintaining a community of voluntary members--attitudes and priorities may shift, but this is in no way a lesson in "effective altruism" nor should it be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is something else.

It’s very revealing about how parents think about inclusion. And how upper middle class families feel entitled to financial aid.

Let's get real: This thread is a poster child of the seething elitism that permeates at least the striver subculture in NOVA. They want to be the lords of their newfound elite fiefdom, didn't you hear they "made it" y'all, and they are obnoxiously rude to anybody they perceive as earning less HHI than them, like middle class parents, and wish to trash and exclude them like a school bully. It's very high school. But, they post a meme once a year about caring for the poors or whatever is fashionable to try to cloak the stench of their bully poo - like spraying secret deodorant on pits without showering a month. Nope, you still stink as a human being.

In your example a full pay striver who "made it" doesn't want a "low income" kid. Actually, IRL that persona WOULD want a low income kid. Why? That kid has zero possibility to compete with theirs in the social landscape. The ones that they would want to EXCLUDE in your example would be the middle class kids. Why? Because most of these strivers pull up the ladder behind them. This has been demonstrated over and over and over in literature about minority groups in organizations.

So, let me get this straight - you would prefer that the striving UMC pull up the ladders behind them that would allow a larger portion of middle class families access to private education in lieu of a tiny sub-population of truly low income deserving kids? So wierd.

I support deserving middle class financial aid. It helps the largest number of students. More people helped = better for my dollars. Period.

I never mentioned the hypothetical low income students. I said middle class.

But please, humor me - at what schools are "LOW INCOME" families applying to in droves and their financial aid is snatched up by middle class folks. Tell me all about it

Lol!
I think we might be in aggressive agreement then. There are no droves of low income kids snatching money from middle class kids.

Say your financial aid pot is 100k. You can fully fund 2 low income kids or partially fund 10 MC kids. I'd fund 10 MC kids.

Specially if your kid is one of the 10.

Probably true. But also true for me and I donate in the upper tier of the school.

Oh really. I am glad that your school discloses that data. I hope they also disclose the incomes of families receiving financial aid.

They only disclose it upon request. I'm on the financial aid committee and board.

Wow, could a $125k single mom with 1 kid, a home valued at 345k, and a 310k mortgage balance get aid?

Yes, but apply to the schools with the deep pockets. They are on this list https://danielheider.com/blog/the-top-7-most-exclusive-and-expensive-private-schools-in-the-greater-washington-dc-area

This is actually good advice pp listen to this

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Independent school’s bring in who they want. They aren’t getting scammed.

Yes. The only one scammed are middle income families subsidizing other middle income families through financial aid.

Nope, we all know what we are doing.

Well you know. But wouldnt hurt to say that financial aid is not really philanthropy. School are subsidizing well off families and excluding Low income families by design. Then somehow the image of inclusion that want to portray gets a bit tainted, right?

Inclusion is a strange concept. It normally doesn't "include" everyone by design. Take, for example, a huge corporation that advocates for a very inclusive environment. They won't hire uneducated people, yet they say they are inclusive. A school that is "inclusive" is similar- they include people who add to a rounded environment, designed and decided by themselves. Why do they have to "include" people that fall outside their own design?

You should add a footnote in your school brochure for inclusion : “we refer to inclusion as the capacity to include upper income class families that we like”

Why?
It already states what their mission and culture are. If you don't understand this from the published materials you don't deserve to be there.

Share a link so I can see it. Most schools are more in the camp of “fake inclusivity”. And your posts show that.

You cannot see that all of the definitions of diversity are slightly different. What make your personal view of how a school should be diverse matter more than their definition of diversity. It might be fake to you, but real to many others. You reek entitled and arrogant to believe your views are so much better than everyone elses.

I would be fine with any definition of diversity as long as it fully disclosed to parents that actually fund financial aid. When people donate money they want to know how their money is going to be spent. Nothing crazy or offensive about that. Not sure why my comments are affecting you so much.

Yes, nothing crazy or offensive in this particular post. If you donate to that cause, by all means ask those questions. If the answer is not satisfactory then don't donate. Does that response offend you?

I agree with you. That’s how it works in a free market economy. For some reason many parents are bothered if someone ask questions if the financial aid money is properly allocated.

Let me put it this way. There is a big problem with naming something financial aid when there is no aid to anyone to really needs the money.

The truth is that this is a price discrimination scheme where richer people pay more (tuition plus donation) and middle class people pay less (get some financial aid). That’s fine. I just find appalling that people call this a lot of things like financial aid or that it contributes to diversity, when in fact is an old scheme for monopolies to maximize revenue.

You might not like my interpretation but that’s ok. It’s just an opinion that someone can take or leave. Educated people don’t need to insult when they disagree.

Yep, valid interpretation. I still use the words "financial aid" and phrase "contribute to diversity" with the full understanding that the private school definitions might not be the same as the public school definitions.

That’s ok. Not very different from the ministries of truth and love in 1984. Very accurate labeling.

Not different than most charities:
World wildlife fund
Nature conservatory
Save the children
Opera and theater donations
Anything in go fund me

I think people have a problem that they think rich people need to subsidize poor ones. Unfortunately they (rich people) are the ones who used tax sheltered money to forward causes they believe in. I don't think it's too difficult to understand, but apparently it is.

I think financial aid in schools are worse than charities. Charities disclose which fraction of your money actually goes for helping people and which fraction goes to overhead costs. For instance one of the most efficient charities UNICEF has an overhead of 9 percent meaning for each dollar you donate the keep 9 cents for admin costs.

Financial aid offices do not disclose anything, so from a standpoint of integrity is not a good idea to put your money there. Unless of course you don’t mind the integrity part and you are fine with any opaque decision made by the financial aid office.

Seriously, it's transparent to those that donate exactly what they money is for. People support causes they believe in even though that makes you uncomfortable and green with envy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you cannot afford private school tuition for your kids, that is your own fault. Stop blaming other people or getting angry at the financial aid systems.

Look in the mirror, and figure out why your finances are not in better shape. You can apply for financial aid, but realize there is a very limited amount of philanthropy available.

Financial aid is not the problem. Your terrible finances are the problem. Own your mistakes.

Sure. Financial aid is working perfectly—based on the available data.

Oh wait, there is no data. Never mind. Feel free to keep donating money based on opaque decisions.

Of course we are free to do so and many if us will continue to donate. Thanks for the permission (?) as if we needed it and you are some God that can bestow that. Wierd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you cannot afford private school tuition for your kids, that is your own fault. Stop blaming other people or getting angry at the financial aid systems.

Look in the mirror, and figure out why your finances are not in better shape. You can apply for financial aid, but realize there is a very limited amount of philanthropy available.

Financial aid is not the problem. Your terrible finances are the problem. Own your mistakes.

Sure. Financial aid is working perfectly—based on the available data.

Oh wait, there is no data. Never mind. Feel free to keep donating money based on opaque decisions.

Complaining about financial aid is like complaining about the free food at a food pantry. It is money donated and given as philanthropy. You really need to get a life.

No. Complaining about financial aid is like complaining about people with bmws going to get food at the food bank.

They are DONATING the food at the food bank and quite possibly distributing as they see fit. It's you who wants te free food and comes for a hand out complaining about the donors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you cannot afford private school tuition for your kids, that is your own fault. Stop blaming other people or getting angry at the financial aid systems.

Look in the mirror, and figure out why your finances are not in better shape. You can apply for financial aid, but realize there is a very limited amount of philanthropy available.

Financial aid is not the problem. Your terrible finances are the problem. Own your mistakes.

Sure. Financial aid is working perfectly—based on the available data.

Oh wait, there is no data. Never mind. Feel free to keep donating money based on opaque decisions.

Complaining about financial aid is like complaining about the free food at a food pantry. It is money donated and given as philanthropy. You really need to get a life.

No. Complaining about financial aid is like complaining about people with bmws going to get food at the food bank.

Not at all. Private schools and donors are doing exactly what they want to do.

Of course, since there is full disclosure everybody knows exactly how their donations are spent.

Clearly not everyone needs to know to accomplish the published mission of the school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When donors contribute to financial aid campaigns they are showing trust in their chosen school community to make decisions that strengthen the whole community.

If OP's DC was not accepted into the school community of her choice, it's not because of how much aid they needed--it's because the school didn't see a value-add. If OP is already at a school and disagrees with how donations are used, then she should certainly use her feet to move to a school that aligns with her strong beliefs.

What OP is not allowed to do is enter a desired school community and harass others for their decisions that led to her desiring that community in the first place. We are talking about building and maintaining a community of voluntary members--attitudes and priorities may shift, but this is in no way a lesson in "effective altruism" nor should it be.

Well said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When donors contribute to financial aid campaigns they are showing trust in their chosen school community to make decisions that strengthen the whole community.

If OP's DC was not accepted into the school community of her choice, it's not because of how much aid they needed--it's because the school didn't see a value-add. If OP is already at a school and disagrees with how donations are used, then she should certainly use her feet to move to a school that aligns with her strong beliefs.

What OP is not allowed to do is enter a desired school community and harass others for their decisions that led to her desiring that community in the first place. We are talking about building and maintaining a community of voluntary members--attitudes and priorities may shift, but this is in no way a lesson in "effective altruism" nor should it be.

Yes. We have to maintain a community we’re everyone is silent and financial aid is provided to upper middle class families without disclosure. Sounds like a good plan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you cannot afford private school tuition for your kids, that is your own fault. Stop blaming other people or getting angry at the financial aid systems.

Look in the mirror, and figure out why your finances are not in better shape. You can apply for financial aid, but realize there is a very limited amount of philanthropy available.

Financial aid is not the problem. Your terrible finances are the problem. Own your mistakes.

Sure. Financial aid is working perfectly—based on the available data.

Oh wait, there is no data. Never mind. Feel free to keep donating money based on opaque decisions.

Complaining about financial aid is like complaining about the free food at a food pantry. It is money donated and given as philanthropy. You really need to get a life.

No. Complaining about financial aid is like complaining about people with bmws going to get food at the food bank.

Not at all. Private schools and donors are doing exactly what they want to do.

Of course, since there is full disclosure everybody knows exactly how their donations are spent.

Clearly not everyone needs to know to accomplish the published mission of the school.

Speak for yourself. When I donate money I am interested to know how the money is used. If it’s no used appropriately I can donate my money to other causes. What is so outrageous about that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you cannot afford private school tuition for your kids, that is your own fault. Stop blaming other people or getting angry at the financial aid systems.

Look in the mirror, and figure out why your finances are not in better shape. You can apply for financial aid, but realize there is a very limited amount of philanthropy available.

Financial aid is not the problem. Your terrible finances are the problem. Own your mistakes.

Sure. Financial aid is working perfectly—based on the available data.

Oh wait, there is no data. Never mind. Feel free to keep donating money based on opaque decisions.

Complaining about financial aid is like complaining about the free food at a food pantry. It is money donated and given as philanthropy. You really need to get a life.

No. Complaining about financial aid is like complaining about people with bmws going to get food at the food bank.

They are DONATING the food at the food bank and quite possibly distributing as they see fit. It's you who wants te free food and comes for a hand out complaining about the donors.

Not really. When the food is not given to the people that really needs it, I see a problem. Maybe it’s ok for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you cannot afford private school tuition for your kids, that is your own fault. Stop blaming other people or getting angry at the financial aid systems.

Look in the mirror, and figure out why your finances are not in better shape. You can apply for financial aid, but realize there is a very limited amount of philanthropy available.

Financial aid is not the problem. Your terrible finances are the problem. Own your mistakes.

Sure. Financial aid is working perfectly—based on the available data.

Oh wait, there is no data. Never mind. Feel free to keep donating money based on opaque decisions.

Of course we are free to do so and many if us will continue to donate. Thanks for the permission (?) as if we needed it and you are some God that can bestow that. Wierd.

No need to be agitated by simple posts. It’s an opinion, so not sure what’s the deal. If you cannot handle maybe some Xanax can help.