Come here if your in laws do weird crap at thanksgiving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Elderly MIL cooked a large meal (3 meats, a ton of sides, and 4 deserts) for 7 people (my strange SIL didn’t eat so there 6 people). Barely anything was done when we got there so I did the Mac & Cheese. She was still working on the other sides. I watched her do the stuffing and she put water, broth, salt and sugar in it so it came out soggy. Everything except the Mac & Cheese tasted terrible. The deserts were store bought and even they didn’t taste good. We all had diarrhea the next day.

I want to tell her that she doesn’t have to do Thanksgiving anymore but she insists just to prove she can do it. I want to go out next year. I know it’s petty but I had to tell someone.

Clue: a daughter who won’t eat her elderly mother’s food is not “strange,” she’s smart. Clue: watching MIL do weird stuff to food like put sugar in stuffing = MAYBE DON’T EAT IT. Your SIL is not the “strange” one in this scenario, dummy.

The pp put it a lot better/nicer than you did. But congrats on being a B I guess.

Thank you for saying this. I didn't think I would be called a dummy. Wow.

I know my SIL and she was being the strange person she is. She sat in the corner by herself while we were eating. To be polite, I had to take some food and at least taste it. I couldn't finish it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Elderly MIL cooked a large meal (3 meats, a ton of sides, and 4 deserts) for 7 people (my strange SIL didn’t eat so there 6 people). Barely anything was done when we got there so I did the Mac & Cheese. She was still working on the other sides. I watched her do the stuffing and she put water, broth, salt and sugar in it so it came out soggy. Everything except the Mac & Cheese tasted terrible. The deserts were store bought and even they didn’t taste good. We all had diarrhea the next day.

I want to tell her that she doesn’t have to do Thanksgiving anymore but she insists just to prove she can do it. I want to go out next year. I know it’s petty but I had to tell someone.

Clue: a daughter who won’t eat her elderly mother’s food is not “strange,” she’s smart. Clue: watching MIL do weird stuff to food like put sugar in stuffing = MAYBE DON’T EAT IT. Your SIL is not the “strange” one in this scenario, dummy.

The pp put it a lot better/nicer than you did. But congrats on being a B I guess.

Thank you for saying this. I didn't think I would be called a dummy. Wow.

I know my SIL and she was being the strange person she is. She sat in the corner by herself while we were eating. To be polite, I had to take some food and at least taste it. I couldn't finish it.

I’d rather be seen as “strange” than make myself sick or worse, make my kids sick because I don’t have a spine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know, am I really outdated? I teach ny kid to take a spoonful of everything that’s being passed around and take a bite of each of those spoonfuls on his plate?

Yes, this is outdated advice on how to help kids have a healthy relationship with food.

Though I bet her kids eat a lot more variety because of it.

I bet you're wrong, or that the variety they're eating in only happening because they're forced and will dry up once they are finally allowed to make their own choices.

Is this some kind of new parenting trope?? My kids are 6 and 8 and I make them TRY everything. I say "You're allowed to not like it but not until you taste it." Many times they end up admitting they like something they didn't want to eat. I made some curry yesterday that obviously didn't look good to them (orange slop on rice!) but they ended up devouring it. So we're supposed to let kids only eat what they like now? My kids would live on carbs.

In Girl Scouts this as known as the No Thank You Helping. In other words if you said no thank you, you still got a small spoonful to try.

Nope.
This is not a Girl Scout thing. Your mommy told you that to make you do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know, am I really outdated? I teach ny kid to take a spoonful of everything that’s being passed around and take a bite of each of those spoonfuls on his plate?

Yes, this is outdated advice on how to help kids have a healthy relationship with food.

Though I bet her kids eat a lot more variety because of it.

NP but I've never forced my kids to eat anything. I encourage them to try everything. I introduce new foods to them all the time. I NEVER bought them kid food (e.g. chicken nuggets, Mac and cheese), even at restaurants that have only those foods as "kids meals", but I never forced them to eat anything. My picky child eats only vegetables, she refuses super carb-heavy and oily foods, so there goes your theory sweetie pie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH just told MIL for the third time that no, we won’t be putting food on the table and passing. We’ll be serving it buffet-style from the island. She’s fighting her on this and he finally said, “No one wants to pass and pass and monitor what each other is or is not eating. We all just want to make a plate and eat.” Which has always been MY argument for hating family-style service.

(Nelson voice Ha ha!

Nice! My MIL also refuses to understand that passing family style is no longer a popular way of serving. And I agree that one of the main motivations for old people liking it is that they like to see who is taking what and how much.

really? what do you do on a daily basis? and do people really care about seeing what other people eat (that seems odd and slightly disordered)

NP. On a daily basis, we put food on the island, and either self-serve or one adult serves for the kids or whatever. Occasionally DH and I will ask the other if they want us to make them a plate. But mostly, everyone makes their own plate.

Anyway, I see you’ve never been part of an interminably long pass, pass, pass, pass holiday dinner. They are the WORST. A huge casserole dish hovering in midair while Aunt Bertha hems and haws about whether she wants this dish or that. Or MIL asks why you aren’t eating mashed rutabagas. Or FIL says “wow, you’re taking a LOT of mashed potatoes.” So much commentary about who is eating what and how much, or how no one is eating the yams and you really need to take some yams. Meanwhile the food is getting cold instead of being eaten. It’s so laborious and unnecessary.

We pass food around and this kind of thing never happens.

My in laws always did the pass thing and the food was always cold. We did it ourselves this year and the food was cold. It's problematic if you have a lot of people. My mil is an extremely controlling person and watched every portion a person took. They expect everyone to finish everything on their plate. The first time I ate with them when I was dating my now dh, my sil lectured me loudly at the table that I didn't finish three grains of corn. No one stopped her. She also lectured me because I didn't cross myself after they said grace. The fool didn't know that's a Catholic thing. My dh's family is unfailingly rude.

Food gets cold at the same rate when it’s sitting on an island in the kitchen as when it’s on the dining room table, unless the dishes are on an actual heat source of whatever type. The laws of physics apply in both places.

You cannot possibly be this dense.

Buffet in the kitchen - everyone lines up at once, fills their plates with each item, eats. Hot food.

“Family style” - every individual item passed around many people at a family table, everyone waits for it to be passed every single item by item while people either about how much to take. Lukewarm food at best.

Glad I could help.

NP. I simply disagree. The food will also get cold while you stand in the buffet line to serve yourself, unless the food is in chafing dishes over heaters. One way is not superior to the other. Also, even if you serve buffet style, I can look over at Cousin Max’s plate and see that he has taken a pound of mashed potatoes and no Brussels sprouts, and confront him about his hatred of green vegetables, should I so choose.

Mmkay, but you’ll still be wrong. Shrug.

NP. Buffets are really déclassé. Beloved by patrons of Golden Corral and similar. The thought of recreating this in my home gives me shivers.

Was it hard to type this while clutching your pearls?

Of course not! My lady's maid clutches my pearls as I type. Yours doesn't?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Elderly MIL cooked a large meal (3 meats, a ton of sides, and 4 deserts) for 7 people (my strange SIL didn’t eat so there 6 people). Barely anything was done when we got there so I did the Mac & Cheese. She was still working on the other sides. I watched her do the stuffing and she put water, broth, salt and sugar in it so it came out soggy. Everything except the Mac & Cheese tasted terrible. The deserts were store bought and even they didn’t taste good. We all had diarrhea the next day.

I want to tell her that she doesn’t have to do Thanksgiving anymore but she insists just to prove she can do it. I want to go out next year. I know it’s petty but I had to tell someone.

You don't know the difference between desert and dessert?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH just told MIL for the third time that no, we won’t be putting food on the table and passing. We’ll be serving it buffet-style from the island. She’s fighting her on this and he finally said, “No one wants to pass and pass and monitor what each other is or is not eating. We all just want to make a plate and eat.” Which has always been MY argument for hating family-style service.

(Nelson voice Ha ha!

Nice! My MIL also refuses to understand that passing family style is no longer a popular way of serving. And I agree that one of the main motivations for old people liking it is that they like to see who is taking what and how much.

really? what do you do on a daily basis? and do people really care about seeing what other people eat (that seems odd and slightly disordered)

NP. On a daily basis, we put food on the island, and either self-serve or one adult serves for the kids or whatever. Occasionally DH and I will ask the other if they want us to make them a plate. But mostly, everyone makes their own plate.

Anyway, I see you’ve never been part of an interminably long pass, pass, pass, pass holiday dinner. They are the WORST. A huge casserole dish hovering in midair while Aunt Bertha hems and haws about whether she wants this dish or that. Or MIL asks why you aren’t eating mashed rutabagas. Or FIL says “wow, you’re taking a LOT of mashed potatoes.” So much commentary about who is eating what and how much, or how no one is eating the yams and you really need to take some yams. Meanwhile the food is getting cold instead of being eaten. It’s so laborious and unnecessary.

We pass food around and this kind of thing never happens.

My in laws always did the pass thing and the food was always cold. We did it ourselves this year and the food was cold. It's problematic if you have a lot of people. My mil is an extremely controlling person and watched every portion a person took. They expect everyone to finish everything on their plate. The first time I ate with them when I was dating my now dh, my sil lectured me loudly at the table that I didn't finish three grains of corn. No one stopped her. She also lectured me because I didn't cross myself after they said grace. The fool didn't know that's a Catholic thing. My dh's family is unfailingly rude.

Food gets cold at the same rate when it’s sitting on an island in the kitchen as when it’s on the dining room table, unless the dishes are on an actual heat source of whatever type. The laws of physics apply in both places.

You cannot possibly be this dense.

Buffet in the kitchen - everyone lines up at once, fills their plates with each item, eats. Hot food.

“Family style” - every individual item passed around many people at a family table, everyone waits for it to be passed every single item by item while people either about how much to take. Lukewarm food at best.

Glad I could help.

NP. I simply disagree. The food will also get cold while you stand in the buffet line to serve yourself, unless the food is in chafing dishes over heaters. One way is not superior to the other. Also, even if you serve buffet style, I can look over at Cousin Max’s plate and see that he has taken a pound of mashed potatoes and no Brussels sprouts, and confront him about his hatred of green vegetables, should I so choose.

Mmkay, but you’ll still be wrong. Shrug.

She’s not wrong. Unless your family all has really short arms and needs to get up every time a dish is passed? Or maybe no arms at all? There is no significant time difference when getting food buffet style vs. family style. If you have 20 people for the meal the last guy in the buffet line will get the lukewarm food you are trying to avoid.

[Anonymous]

Y'all will argue over anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Y'all will argue over anything.

This is what keeps bringing me back to DCUM!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH just told MIL for the third time that no, we won’t be putting food on the table and passing. We’ll be serving it buffet-style from the island. She’s fighting her on this and he finally said, “No one wants to pass and pass and monitor what each other is or is not eating. We all just want to make a plate and eat.” Which has always been MY argument for hating family-style service.

(Nelson voice Ha ha!

Nice! My MIL also refuses to understand that passing family style is no longer a popular way of serving. And I agree that one of the main motivations for old people liking it is that they like to see who is taking what and how much.

really? what do you do on a daily basis? and do people really care about seeing what other people eat (that seems odd and slightly disordered)

NP. On a daily basis, we put food on the island, and either self-serve or one adult serves for the kids or whatever. Occasionally DH and I will ask the other if they want us to make them a plate. But mostly, everyone makes their own plate.

Anyway, I see you’ve never been part of an interminably long pass, pass, pass, pass holiday dinner. They are the WORST. A huge casserole dish hovering in midair while Aunt Bertha hems and haws about whether she wants this dish or that. Or MIL asks why you aren’t eating mashed rutabagas. Or FIL says “wow, you’re taking a LOT of mashed potatoes.” So much commentary about who is eating what and how much, or how no one is eating the yams and you really need to take some yams. Meanwhile the food is getting cold instead of being eaten. It’s so laborious and unnecessary.

We pass food around and this kind of thing never happens.

My in laws always did the pass thing and the food was always cold. We did it ourselves this year and the food was cold. It's problematic if you have a lot of people. My mil is an extremely controlling person and watched every portion a person took. They expect everyone to finish everything on their plate. The first time I ate with them when I was dating my now dh, my sil lectured me loudly at the table that I didn't finish three grains of corn. No one stopped her. She also lectured me because I didn't cross myself after they said grace. The fool didn't know that's a Catholic thing. My dh's family is unfailingly rude.

Food gets cold at the same rate when it’s sitting on an island in the kitchen as when it’s on the dining room table, unless the dishes are on an actual heat source of whatever type. The laws of physics apply in both places.

You cannot possibly be this dense.

Buffet in the kitchen - everyone lines up at once, fills their plates with each item, eats. Hot food.

“Family style” - every individual item passed around many people at a family table, everyone waits for it to be passed every single item by item while people either about how much to take. Lukewarm food at best.

Glad I could help.

NP. I simply disagree. The food will also get cold while you stand in the buffet line to serve yourself, unless the food is in chafing dishes over heaters. One way is not superior to the other. Also, even if you serve buffet style, I can look over at Cousin Max’s plate and see that he has taken a pound of mashed potatoes and no Brussels sprouts, and confront him about his hatred of green vegetables, should I so choose.

Mmkay, but you’ll still be wrong. Shrug.

She’s not wrong. Unless your family all has really short arms and needs to get up every time a dish is passed? Or maybe no arms at all? There is no significant time difference when getting food buffet style vs. family style. If you have 20 people for the meal the last guy in the buffet line will get the lukewarm food you are trying to avoid.

There is virtually no waiting in buffet. You keep it moving. Whereas with family style it’s just pass, pass, pass, and the table is way too crowded and comfortable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Elderly MIL cooked a large meal (3 meats, a ton of sides, and 4 deserts) for 7 people (my strange SIL didn’t eat so there 6 people). Barely anything was done when we got there so I did the Mac & Cheese. She was still working on the other sides. I watched her do the stuffing and she put water, broth, salt and sugar in it so it came out soggy. Everything except the Mac & Cheese tasted terrible. The deserts were store bought and even they didn’t taste good. We all had diarrhea the next day.

I want to tell her that she doesn’t have to do Thanksgiving anymore but she insists just to prove she can do it. I want to go out next year. I know it’s petty but I had to tell someone.

Clue: a daughter who won’t eat her elderly mother’s food is not “strange,” she’s smart. Clue: watching MIL do weird stuff to food like put sugar in stuffing = MAYBE DON’T EAT IT. Your SIL is not the “strange” one in this scenario, dummy.

The pp put it a lot better/nicer than you did. But congrats on being a B I guess.

Thank you for saying this. I didn't think I would be called a dummy. Wow.

I know my SIL and she was being the strange person she is. She sat in the corner by herself while we were eating. To be polite, I had to take some food and at least taste it. I couldn't finish it.

I’d rather be seen as “strange” than make myself sick or worse, make my kids sick because I don’t have a spine.

So what was I supposed to say? MIL, your food sucks and if we eat it, we’re all going to be sick tomorrow.We took a few bites of what we could to be polite. I bet you are fun to have around.

[Anonymous]

now i want beets..

[Anonymous]

Unless your family all has really short arms and needs to get up every time a dish is passed?

We've found the T-rex family of DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH just told MIL for the third time that no, we won’t be putting food on the table and passing. We’ll be serving it buffet-style from the island. She’s fighting her on this and he finally said, “No one wants to pass and pass and monitor what each other is or is not eating. We all just want to make a plate and eat.” Which has always been MY argument for hating family-style service.

(Nelson voice Ha ha!

Nice! My MIL also refuses to understand that passing family style is no longer a popular way of serving. And I agree that one of the main motivations for old people liking it is that they like to see who is taking what and how much.

really? what do you do on a daily basis? and do people really care about seeing what other people eat (that seems odd and slightly disordered)

NP. On a daily basis, we put food on the island, and either self-serve or one adult serves for the kids or whatever. Occasionally DH and I will ask the other if they want us to make them a plate. But mostly, everyone makes their own plate.

Anyway, I see you’ve never been part of an interminably long pass, pass, pass, pass holiday dinner. They are the WORST. A huge casserole dish hovering in midair while Aunt Bertha hems and haws about whether she wants this dish or that. Or MIL asks why you aren’t eating mashed rutabagas. Or FIL says “wow, you’re taking a LOT of mashed potatoes.” So much commentary about who is eating what and how much, or how no one is eating the yams and you really need to take some yams. Meanwhile the food is getting cold instead of being eaten. It’s so laborious and unnecessary.

We pass food around and this kind of thing never happens.

My in laws always did the pass thing and the food was always cold. We did it ourselves this year and the food was cold. It's problematic if you have a lot of people. My mil is an extremely controlling person and watched every portion a person took. They expect everyone to finish everything on their plate. The first time I ate with them when I was dating my now dh, my sil lectured me loudly at the table that I didn't finish three grains of corn. No one stopped her. She also lectured me because I didn't cross myself after they said grace. The fool didn't know that's a Catholic thing. My dh's family is unfailingly rude.

Food gets cold at the same rate when it’s sitting on an island in the kitchen as when it’s on the dining room table, unless the dishes are on an actual heat source of whatever type. The laws of physics apply in both places.

You cannot possibly be this dense.

Buffet in the kitchen - everyone lines up at once, fills their plates with each item, eats. Hot food.

“Family style” - every individual item passed around many people at a family table, everyone waits for it to be passed every single item by item while people either about how much to take. Lukewarm food at best.

Glad I could help.

NP. I simply disagree. The food will also get cold while you stand in the buffet line to serve yourself, unless the food is in chafing dishes over heaters. One way is not superior to the other. Also, even if you serve buffet style, I can look over at Cousin Max’s plate and see that he has taken a pound of mashed potatoes and no Brussels sprouts, and confront him about his hatred of green vegetables, should I so choose.

Mmkay, but you’ll still be wrong. Shrug.

She’s not wrong. Unless your family all has really short arms and needs to get up every time a dish is passed? Or maybe no arms at all? There is no significant time difference when getting food buffet style vs. family style. If you have 20 people for the meal the last guy in the buffet line will get the lukewarm food you are trying to avoid.

Chafing dishes, is how normal people keep food warm on a buffet

[Anonymous]

Question….did “Tea and Cheese” get her “tea and cheese?