If your spouse has a job requiring taking call, how do you make plans?

[Anonymous]

DH is a physician and needs to take weekend call. I know other professionals like IT also need to take call.

How do you go about making plans?
Do you get a sitter if your child has parties to attend?

Just this weekend, my one child got invited to a birthday party. Sibling was not invited. We took our chances and I did not reserve a babysitter. DH was able to take son to party.

DH does not like reserving a sitter because he thinks he will be available. If some emergency comes into the hospital, I will be left stranded.

When kids were younger and I had a baby, it was not a big deal since I would wear baby and baby would not count towards the party.

[Anonymous]

I consider "on call" working and always book a sitter. It just makes life easier. There is always something that DH or I can do or get done if he is not called into work and we have a babysitter scheduled.

[Anonymous]

If either myself or my husband is on call, the other parent is in charge the whole weekend.

[Anonymous]

If my H gets "called out" I take my son and my other son and I go to Starbucks or some place close or home.

Sometimes I do a carpool last minute.

My friends know I might cancel at the last moment.

[Anonymous]

For some people, on call means possibly one call, for physicians it's basically another workday.

I would be prepared to be flexible. Getting a sitter may be a good idea for a few years, until activities become dropoff.

[Anonymous]

In your example, I'm wondering if the hosts would have been understanding that your husband is a physician and had an emergency, saying it was fine to bring the other child.

I find that people are very understanding and helpful in these instances. Not sure it would be the same scenario if your DH was in IT and there was a programming issue, lol, but going to the hospital to save a life probably gets you a pass

[Anonymous]

I think a lot of this depends on how often your husband is actually getting calls when he's on call, because this can vary dramatically by specialty. If he's pretty much guaranteed to have to go into the hospital at some point during an on-call shift, then you should plan on getting sitters during that time. If the vast majority of his calls can be handled by phone and it's rare that he has to go to the hospital, then I'd take my chances.

[Anonymous]

In this scenario, I'd probably exain to the host and see if it would be okay to bring the other child to the party of DH is called in.

[Anonymous]

I generally ask the parents of one of my son's friends going to the party if DS could go with them if DH gets a call. It has never been a problem and I've helped them out in similar situations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I generally ask the parents of one of my son's friends going to the party if DS could go with them if DH gets a call. It has never been a problem and I've helped them out in similar situations.

This is the best option. It doesn't bother the host and your kid gets to go to the party. I would gladly do this for any of DCs' friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I consider "on call" working and always book a sitter. It just makes life easier. There is always something that DH or I can do or get done if he is not called into work and we have a babysitter scheduled.

+1 This keeps you in charge and not at the mercy of your husband's schedule or a host's or others' generosity. Also keeps things predictable for your own sanity.

[Anonymous]

I think you can get a sitter when there's a situation where you really think it would be a big deal to miss an event or if the other sibling came along, but not in the other cases. In other words, if this is your kid's BFF's party and you know the parents won't be okay with you bringing another kid even if it's an emergency at the last minute, then you get a sitter. If it's a party he could miss if he needs to, or you could bring the other kid to (or drop off your kid and stay home with the other kid, and have another parent watch your kid during the party), then don't get a sitter.

Maybe you could find a babysitter who wouldn't mind being called last minute (not that there would be a guarantee of availability, but at least that person would be okay getting a last-minute call, and you'd feel comfortable calling that late in the game).

[Anonymous]

How often is he on weekend call? My DH is a physician and it's only one weekend day per month (he has privileges at a lathe hospital). We just don't make firm plans that day unless it's something like you describe (party). In that case we would schedule back up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How often is he on weekend call? My DH is a physician and it's only one weekend day per month (he has privileges at a lathe hospital). We just don't make firm plans that day unless it's something like you describe (party). In that case we would schedule back up.

*large not lathe

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In your example, I'm wondering if the hosts would have been understanding that your husband is a physician and had an emergency, saying it was fine to bring the other child.

I find that people are very understanding and helpful in these instances. Not sure it would be the same scenario if your DH was in IT and there was a programming issue, lol, but going to the hospital to save a life probably gets you a pass

An emergency is something that comes up when you are NOT on call. Call is part of the job and this isn't an emergency. Perhaps people are understanding, but you are taking advantage if you never plan carefully about a normal occurrence.

OP -- I presume you folks can afford it, so line up a sitter when it matters.