If your spouse has a job requiring taking call, how do you make plans?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It also depends on the severity of the call. If it's a case of "just be around your phone, don't get drunk, and when we call we'll expect to see you in 30-90 minutes," that's one thing. Go about your life and don't get too irritated if a trip gets cut short, etc.

If it's "DROP EVERYTHING RITE NAO" then just treat it as if he's working.

It is the former. He has to be accessible by phone but usually has about an hour to get to hospital since it takes time to get an xray and figure out what is broken. DH usually looks at xray on the computer at home and determined what next actions are.

[Anonymous]

Hire a sitter. Your DH is not an aid or emergency worker who might be on call and paid a much more modest wage where an extra day of childcare truly might not fit the budget. We all know that an ortho salary can afford a sitter for one day or weekend per month (or even once every other month when a party might line up with a call day).

[Anonymous]

I'm an OB-GYN and run into this issue all the time (as a mom). Honestly, it's the gig. Unpredictable hours.

My DH takes over if I need to do a delivery. If he can't handle our two kids, we get a sitter, but honestly, barring something unusual like a birthday party where kid 1 was invited but kid 2 wasn't, I don't think we've ever used a sitter. If it's sports, they both go and the non participating kid either watches and cheers on or the participating kid is dropped off and DH takes the other on an errand.

As a working mom, of the zillion logistical things I worry about this is probably the smallest. You either deal or get a sitter. Not that complicated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm an OB-GYN and run into this issue all the time (as a mom). Honestly, it's the gig. Unpredictable hours.

My DH takes over if I need to do a delivery. If he can't handle our two kids, we get a sitter, but honestly, barring something unusual like a birthday party where kid 1 was invited but kid 2 wasn't, I don't think we've ever used a sitter. If it's sports, they both go and the non participating kid either watches and cheers on or the participating kid is dropped off and DH takes the other on an errand.

As a working mom, of the zillion logistical things I worry about this is probably the smallest. You either deal or get a sitter. Not that complicated.

So if one child is invited to a party while sibling is not and you are on call, you get a sitter. When the time comes and you do not get called in, one parent goes to party with invited child and other parent stays home with other child plus sitter?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm an OB-GYN and run into this issue all the time (as a mom). Honestly, it's the gig. Unpredictable hours.

My DH takes over if I need to do a delivery. If he can't handle our two kids, we get a sitter, but honestly, barring something unusual like a birthday party where kid 1 was invited but kid 2 wasn't, I don't think we've ever used a sitter. If it's sports, they both go and the non participating kid either watches and cheers on or the participating kid is dropped off and DH takes the other on an errand.

As a working mom, of the zillion logistical things I worry about this is probably the smallest. You either deal or get a sitter. Not that complicated.

So if one child is invited to a party while sibling is not and you are on call, you get a sitter. When the time comes and you do not get called in, one parent goes to party with invited child and other parent stays home with other child plus sitter?

Or other parent goes to local bar and has five martinis.

Seriously, is this really that hard??? Either you cancel the sitter if you want quality time with the kid (and just decide it's worth eating the $50 or whatever) or you make use of the sitter time and relax, run an errand, work out, or reevaluate your life priorities.

[Anonymous]

It depends on what "on call" means for the job. When I'm on call it means phone is on and within reach at all times because I field calls from nurses, CNAs, and home health aids who have questions about the care they are doing that day. Sometimes I only get one or two calls. I usually average about 10. I rarely Have to go anywhere to assist. I think once or twice last year. So for us, we make plans as usual. Tell whoever we are with that I'm on call so please excuse me if I have to get up to take a phone call.

So making plans around my on call is fairly easy.

[Anonymous]

Or you decline the birthday parties with "no siblings allowed" until your child is old enough for drop off. This might just be an issue for another year or so.

[Anonymous]

It can't be that many birthday parties. We are talking one weekend a month. 3/4 of the time there won't be a problems due to your husband's job. Some birthday parties invite siblings or are close friends where they are fine with you bringing the little one in a pinch. Some of the parties your child will be OK with drop off. Some your will have a friend who can help out and some you may get a sitter.