If your spouse has a job requiring taking call, how do you make plans?

[Anonymous]

DH is on call every weekend. There's no way we can afford a Sitter every weekend so I usually call the host and ask if it's ok to bring the 2yo. My 4yo is not old enough for drop off parties Yet.

[Anonymous]

DH has a job that requires frequent last minute travel. He also has to frequently work until very late at night without notice. We assume I will take them to birthday parties, practices, events, etc. It is an added bonus if he can make it. This sometimes meant canceling a birthday party when they were younger. Depending on the family and the party, sometimes the other sibling tagged along. It's easier now that we can drop off my older child and carpool. I plan on a sitter if there is something I need to go to and can't bring the kids.

[Anonymous]

My Dh is a physician and gets called in maybe 10-20% of the time he is on call. However when he is called he has 30 min or less to get to the hospital. We never ever leave DH alone with the kids when he is on call. I have the kids or we get a sitter, even if DH is home. When we go somewhere as a family we take 2 cars.

[Anonymous]

Honestly - if it's a rare occurrence, can you find a good friend who is willing to watch the other child in a pinch? If it's frequent, then yes, book a sitter.

[Anonymous]

Wow 14:10. That is unacceptable.

[Anonymous]

If some emergency comes into the hospital, I will be left stranded

yes you will - - and child can not attend the party

[Anonymous]

We never ever leave DH alone with the kids when he is on call. I have the kids or we get a sitter, even if DH is home. When we go somewhere as a family we take 2 cars

this is the only reasonable answer

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think a lot of this depends on how often your husband is actually getting calls when he's on call, because this can vary dramatically by specialty. If he's pretty much guaranteed to have to go into the hospital at some point during an on-call shift, then you should plan on getting sitters during that time. If the vast majority of his calls can be handled by phone and it's rare that he has to go to the hospital, then I'd take my chances.

OP here. DH is a surgeon (ortho), gets multiple phone calls per weekend from ER doctors and residents. However, he does not go in unless he has to operate in an emergency. If a normal broken bone comes in, he may not even get called since most broken bones don't require surgery. Many times surgery is scheduled for a later date and not done immediately over the weekend. He may need to go in for a consult though.

DH usually only goes in for an emergency surgery about 20% of the time over the weekend. That means 80% of the weekends, he will not have to operate at all. Often if it is a true emergency, the patient has other more life threatening injuries than a broken bone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

We never ever leave DH alone with the kids when he is on call. I have the kids or we get a sitter, even if DH is home. When we go somewhere as a family we take 2 cars

this is the only reasonable answer

OP here. DH will take kids to very local places while I am also local. He will take kids to the local park 5 min from our house. Or he will be home with kids and I run to the grocery store. We are never more than 5-10 min away from one another when he is on call.

We do go on family outings but we usually take 2 cars. There have been a few instances where we were out as a family and we all went to the hospital together. DH will go visit patient while kids and I waited in the lounge or his office. Surgeries don't usually happen as instantly as they do on tv shows or at least not involving bones. Operating room needs to get prepped. A rep may need to be involved for certain equipment that is not necessarily readily available at hospital. Anesthesia team may not be ready or already in surgery. Often swelling needs to go down before surgery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow 14:10. That is unacceptable.

Remember that when its YOUR family member who gets a doctor to drop everything and come to their aid. SMH

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

We never ever leave DH alone with the kids when he is on call. I have the kids or we get a sitter, even if DH is home. When we go somewhere as a family we take 2 cars

this is the only reasonable answer

OP here. DH will take kids to very local places while I am also local. He will take kids to the local park 5 min from our house. Or he will be home with kids and I run to the grocery store. We are never more than 5-10 min away from one another when he is on call.

We do go on family outings but we usually take 2 cars. There have been a few instances where we were out as a family and we all went to the hospital together. DH will go visit patient while kids and I waited in the lounge or his office. Surgeries don't usually happen as instantly as they do on tv shows or at least not involving bones. Operating room needs to get prepped. A rep may need to be involved for certain equipment that is not necessarily readily available at hospital. Anesthesia team may not be ready or already in surgery. Often swelling needs to go down before surgery.

OP again. I think the biggest delay is that patient needs to be NPO (no food by mouth) for several hours before surgery.

[Anonymous]

I'm confused. Are you saying it's one occasional weekend (monthly?) where he gets many calls from the ER? Or every weekend. My orthopod husband does not receive numerous ER calls on any random weekend. Just the weekends he's scheduled for call, which is really not that frequently (monthly). We just don't make firm plans and stay close to home. In case of party, we hire sitter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm confused. Are you saying it's one occasional weekend (monthly?) where he gets many calls from the ER? Or every weekend. My orthopod husband does not receive numerous ER calls on any random weekend. Just the weekends he's scheduled for call, which is really not that frequently (monthly). We just don't make firm plans and stay close to home. In case of party, we hire sitter.

DH is on call over the weekend once every 1-2 months. Only on those weekends does he get calls from the ER.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think a lot of this depends on how often your husband is actually getting calls when he's on call, because this can vary dramatically by specialty. If he's pretty much guaranteed to have to go into the hospital at some point during an on-call shift, then you should plan on getting sitters during that time. If the vast majority of his calls can be handled by phone and it's rare that he has to go to the hospital, then I'd take my chances.

This is us. DH does have to go in on his call weekends to round, and it sucks (usually 3 hour at the hospital + another 1-2 at home writing notes each day), but he can go in whenever. So, we schedule his rounding time around whatever else we want to do. There are some rare instances he might have to go in, but he's been at this hospital for a year, and it hasn't happened so far. Otherwise, everything can be handled via phone.

However, when I am also working, I work weekends, too (my work comes in 8-week chunks several times a year). Similarly, my work time is flexible, but it is too hard to find enough hours in the day for both of us to get enough dedicated work time, so we hire a sitter for those days.

[Anonymous]

It also depends on the severity of the call. If it's a case of "just be around your phone, don't get drunk, and when we call we'll expect to see you in 30-90 minutes," that's one thing. Go about your life and don't get too irritated if a trip gets cut short, etc.

If it's "DROP EVERYTHING RITE NAO" then just treat it as if he's working.