Sibling misinforming about sick parent

[Anonymous]

Parent and sibling are long distance. Sibling refuses to put me on contact list. Anyone been through this? Parent is seriously ill. Just here for support/commiseration.

[Anonymous]

Can you get another person on the list to forward you the information?

[Anonymous]

Why is your sibling not keeping you in the loop. Have you all had a falling out or are they just keeping you in the dark for no particular reason?

[Anonymous]

need a little more details than that

[Anonymous]

There is obviously more to this. If you are long distance and not helping and just want information maybe they are just exhausted and don't want to deal with one more person. If parent is in a nursing home, just call the home.

[Anonymous]

Unless your sibling has power of attorney, he/she can't add you to the contact list, only your parent can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unless your sibling has power of attorney, he/she can't add you to the contact list, only your parent can.

Sibling has power of attorney, unfortunately. Parent has alzheimer's supposedly - at least the sibling got a doctor to say the parent has alzheimer's.

Is there a good site to have others informed? Maybe the pressure to publicize info would help? Is this not an appropriate situation for such a site?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless your sibling has power of attorney, he/she can't add you to the contact list, only your parent can.

Sibling has power of attorney, unfortunately. Parent has alzheimer's supposedly - at least the sibling got a doctor to say the parent has alzheimer's.

Is there a good site to have others informed? Maybe the pressure to publicize info would help? Is this not an appropriate situation for such a site?

Also, I am suspicious that the sibling did something (possibly physical) to land the parent in the hospital. I don't know where to start.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless your sibling has power of attorney, he/she can't add you to the contact list, only your parent can.

Sibling has power of attorney, unfortunately. Parent has alzheimer's supposedly - at least the sibling got a doctor to say the parent has alzheimer's.

Is there a good site to have others informed? Maybe the pressure to publicize info would help? Is this not an appropriate situation for such a site?

Also, I am suspicious that the sibling did something (possibly physical) to land the parent in the hospital. I don't know where to start.

What makes you suspect all of this?

Sites like Caring Bridge or Care Pages can be a good way for someone to keep a wider group of people informed of what's happening, so perhaps suggest one of those.

If you truly believe there's an abuse situation going on, it sounds like you need to start by going out there for an extended visit to see what's actually going on and gathering information. If you find evidence, you need to see an elder law attorney about pursuing a case for elder abuse.

[Anonymous]

Call the hospital and ask what is going on. If they did, they may have done so to get the parent into a nursing home bed as that is one of the only ways to do it as its hard without private pay to get in.

If you do not like the care your sibling is providing, step up and help. Bring mom/dad into your home and deal with it.

[Anonymous]

Is there a history of abuse there? What makes you think sibling harmed your parent? You may need to contact a social worker at the hospital.

[Anonymous]

Could be some financial shenanigans the sibling is trying to hide.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Could be some financial shenanigans the sibling is trying to hide.

Or, OP does not want to believe parent is ill and refuses to pitch in and help. OP is out for the money,

[Anonymous]

Op, Why don't you fly out? It sounds like you've been out of the loop for awhile and maybe you need to put in some face time. Has your sibling been the one to care for her this whole time? Caring for someone with Alzheimer's is hard. They can be aggressive, sexually inappropriate, up all night, etc. A memory care facility really is the right and safest place for her.

I'm betting your sibling has a side to their story and it may help you to really think about where they are coming from

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Could be some financial shenanigans the sibling is trying to hide.

Or, OP does not want to believe parent is ill and refuses to pitch in and help. OP is out for the money,

Yeah. I see red flags when it comes to OP. Something doesn't seem right