Marriage better after children

[Anonymous]

I read a lot of posts about the toll children place on a marriage. Has anyone had the opposite experience? The baby made three and the relationship ( an already strong/ happy one) was made even closer?

[Anonymous]

No

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I read a lot of posts about the toll children place on a marriage. Has anyone had the opposite experience? The baby made three and the relationship ( an already strong/ happy one) was made even closer?

Yes absolutely.

[Anonymous]

No

[Anonymous]

Yes. We are closer as parents - leading a family and the shares responsibility has made our bond much stronger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. We are closer as parents - leading a family and the shares responsibility has made our bond much stronger.

* shared

I should note we have 2 young kids

[Anonymous]

My BIL and SIL were fighting from the day they married.

What is amazing that the marriage was so acrimonious that we were amazed that they conceived (OMG - I never knew that they were also having sex while all this fighting was going on!).

Once the wife was pregnant, she refused to have an abortion and ultimately, my nephew was born. The two hardly stayed together (my BIL and SIL) and were living separately. Now they are divorcing. The SIL is furious because she feels he can get married to someone else and start another family, and so is refusing to give him a divorce. She hates him. He hates her. They will do anything that will make each other's life a mess.

[Anonymous]

We have less sex since we've had children.

[Anonymous]

No. And yes. Having 2 under 2 and WOH nearly killed me (literally-- debilitating PPD). Add a job loss, a move to an area where I knew no one, a sick premie. Very rough going. Sticking together and doing the work necessary to get things back on track has made us a lot stronger. And DH's willingness to stand by me when all hell broke loose is something I will never forget.

[Anonymous]

No.

[Anonymous]

Initially is was really hard...sleep deprivation, squabbling over issues left and right, less sex, but once we started to figure things out and get into a groove, the overall bond was much stronger for us and of course, we both share an intense love and pride for our son. We're trying for our second one

[Anonymous]

We have one so far, five months old, and I feel better as a couple. It has brought is closer. However, don't have a kid to save a marriage (not sure why you are asking this question, but just a suggestion because I think for many it does take a toll).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My BIL and SIL were fighting from the day they married.

What is amazing that the marriage was so acrimonious that we were amazed that they conceived (OMG - I never knew that they were also having sex while all this fighting was going on!).

Once the wife was pregnant, she refused to have an abortion and ultimately, my nephew was born. The two hardly stayed together (my BIL and SIL) and were living separately. Now they are divorcing. The SIL is furious because she feels he can get married to someone else and start another family, and so is refusing to give him a divorce. She hates him. He hates her. They will do anything that will make each other's life a mess.

I guess your answer is NO!?

[Anonymous]

Marriage with kids is tougher, no doubt. But like most things with kids, it CAN also be very rewarding. Or a disaster.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have one so far, five months old, and I feel better as a couple. It has brought is closer. However, don't have a kid to save a marriage (not sure why you are asking this question, but just a suggestion because I think for many it does take a toll).

OP here- not at all. We actually had a hard time as newly weds. We Worked hard together and through it, then dealt with infertility, and health issues. Marriage only got better year after year. It's been about 10 years and we are finally expecting. The pregnancy has been such a loving and rewarding journey for both us. I have felt so supported through out the process of getting and being pregnant. I definitely love him more than I did on our wedding day. I was just wondering what others had experienced. I have nieces and nephews and I know how challenging babies, toddlers, and children can be.