Vent--Family Member Asks us to Accommodate Special Diet but then "Cheats"

[Anonymous]

Just venting here--it drives me insane. We have a family member (local so we eat with her frequently) who has all sorts of dietary restrictions, which she admits she isn't sure actually help her health conditions. She asks that we accommodate all of the restrictions, which would be fine with me, but then she "cheats." For example, we have to make a special stir fry for her because the sauce might have traces of wheat/gluten and we serve it over rice instead of noodles for her, but then she cheats and eats a few of the noodles and/or has a few bites of cake or cookies at dessert. I know I should just let it go and that there's nothing to be done about it, but it makes me crazy. I don't mind accommodating real restrictions, but if you're not going to adhere to them yourself, don't make me cook special things for you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just venting here--it drives me insane. We have a family member (local so we eat with her frequently) who has all sorts of dietary restrictions, which she admits she isn't sure actually help her health conditions. She asks that we accommodate all of the restrictions, which would be fine with me, but then she "cheats." For example, we have to make a special stir fry for her because the sauce might have traces of wheat/gluten and we serve it over rice instead of noodles for her, but then she cheats and eats a few of the noodles and/or has a few bites of cake or cookies at dessert. I know I should just let it go and that there's nothing to be done about it, but it makes me crazy. I don't mind accommodating real restrictions, but if you're not going to adhere to them yourself, don't make me cook special things for you!

That's ridiculous. I would think of one thing that's GF that you can make every time for her but not change what you are making for the rest of the family. Oh well. I hate people with voluntary dietary rules. SIL is always on some crazy crazy diet, like she will literally come to dinner and just sit there. Okay?!

[Anonymous]

I would stop making special accommodations for her. Reserve a portion for her without sauce, microwave in the bag rice. I have a 'vegetarian' friend who is the same way - no meat unless it looks really tasty. I do not cook for her.

[Anonymous]

I would tell her she can bring a GF dish to share next time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just venting here--it drives me insane. We have a family member (local so we eat with her frequently) who has all sorts of dietary restrictions, which she admits she isn't sure actually help her health conditions. She asks that we accommodate all of the restrictions, which would be fine with me, but then she "cheats." For example, we have to make a special stir fry for her because the sauce might have traces of wheat/gluten and we serve it over rice instead of noodles for her, but then she cheats and eats a few of the noodles and/or has a few bites of cake or cookies at dessert. I know I should just let it go and that there's nothing to be done about it, but it makes me crazy. I don't mind accommodating real restrictions, but if you're not going to adhere to them yourself, don't make me cook special things for you!

I feel your pain. My aunt is "gluten free" and its not due to celiacs just due to her wanting to be a snowflake I think. We always make sure to pick a restaurant that has gluten free items on their menu and make sure there is plenty for her to eat at family gatherings but like you said she always cheats! She will pick off my uncles plate or eat both the gf and wheat snacks. Its annoying as heck.

[Anonymous]

I could kinda see having rice instead of noodles if she's going gluten free. But if she's sneaking bits of things I certainly wouldn't use a special sauce for fear of trace contamination.

[Anonymous]

sprinkle some gluten powder all over her rice next time...and laugh out loud when you hear her sitting on the shitter all night

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I could kinda see having rice instead of noodles if she's going gluten free. But if she's sneaking bits of things I certainly wouldn't use a special sauce for fear of trace contamination.

But then she'll make a big effing deal about how she can't eat it because of the possibility. Followed by stuffing a bite of noodle in her mouth in the kitchen when she thinks nobody is looking, or taking "just a taste" of the dessert. ARGH!

[Anonymous]

That would drive me crazy. I wouldn't be so accommodating, like a PP mentioned, and she can just eat what she wants to. Maybe do some noodles, in your example, but that's it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I could kinda see having rice instead of noodles if she's going gluten free. But if she's sneaking bits of things I certainly wouldn't use a special sauce for fear of trace contamination.

But then she'll make a big effing deal about how she can't eat it because of the possibility. Followed by stuffing a bite of noodle in her mouth in the kitchen when she thinks nobody is looking, or taking "just a taste" of the dessert. ARGH!

I am a pretty straight forward person, so have you thought about just nicely saying "gee Susan, I'm confused on what you need from me since I prepared all this special food for you but then I see you eating the noodles anyways. Can you tell me again what you think I can do to help you?"
Or the next time, just call her and tell her what you're making, and when she protests just say that you are really confused and think it might be best if she brought some food she could eat "I really don't mind at all Susan since I just can't seem to follow what you need"

And that's that

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would stop making special accommodations for her. Reserve a portion for her without sauce, microwave in the bag rice. I have a 'vegetarian' friend who is the same way - no meat unless it looks really tasty. I do not cook for her.

This!

[Anonymous]

I am GF and the reason for me is not celiac, but I can assure you the digestive issues that ensue when I have wheat are nothing people want to hear about (or hear for that matter!). That said, there are some people who are sensitive to gluten who can eat a bit of gluten but not a bunch and be okay. Maybe your sister falls into that category (i.e., she eats mostly rice but a couple noodles).


Certainly worrying about cross-contamination if she falls into that category would be silly.
Still she sounds like a pain and gives those of us with real restrictions a bad name.

[Anonymous]

My sister is a food whackadoodle. I feel your pain.

I remember years ago taking her and my father out to lunch when they visited me on the west coast. She went on and on and on about the salad and how it was full of weeds and who serves weeds and how awful it was and blah blah blah. Really pissed me off, actually. If you don't like it, just keep your mouth shut! Now she's expanded her food palate and happily eats those "weeds". GD annoying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am GF and the reason for me is not celiac, but I can assure you the digestive issues that ensue when I have wheat are nothing people want to hear about (or hear for that matter!). That said, there are some people who are sensitive to gluten who can eat a bit of gluten but not a bunch and be okay. Maybe your sister falls into that category (i.e., she eats mostly rice but a couple noodles).


Certainly worrying about cross-contamination if she falls into that category would be silly.
Still she sounds like a pain and gives those of us with real restrictions a bad name.

I get this, but it's not just the gluten. That's just one example. She also "doesn't eat" a lot of other things. And, having dated somebody with celiac, it pisses me off on his behalf!

[Anonymous]

PS Thanks all for your responses. It helps to vent sometimes!