2nd wives: If DH came from low/no sex 1st marriage, how often do you feel you can turn him down?

[Anonymous]

Friend is married to a guy whose first wife shut him down completely after their second child was born. She is having her own low libido issues due to an anti-depressant and feels like she can't turn him down except when she has her period. I think turning him down twice, even three times in a row in one week is not unreasonable.

[Anonymous]

I think this is a weird thing for you to be giving your friend advice about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think this is a weird thing for you to be giving your friend advice about.

We're both having similar side-effects from the same anti-depressant.

[Anonymous]

If this is true this is sad.

If this is troll this is sad.

[Anonymous]

No, I'm not a troll. I agree that it's sad. But I don't know her husband's side of things at all.

[Anonymous]

Does she want intimacy instead - snuggling?

If she has a medical disorder I hope that he is understanding. Otherwise he is just a douche.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does she want intimacy instead - snuggling?

If she has a medical disorder I hope that he is understanding. Otherwise he is just a douche.

From what I gathered, she's still affectionate, but it always turns into sex. She says he was really traumatized by his first marriage.

[Anonymous]

Would you want to be turned down three times in a row in one week? She needs to let him know what's going on so they can work something out- not just keep shutting him down. That would be problematic for anyone, whether they had a low/no sex first marriage or not.

[Anonymous]

Never turn down on both sides

[Anonymous]

Turn down for what?

[Anonymous]

This is why I would never get involved with a man who blamed the break-up of a marriage/relationship on lack of sex. I'm not in a sexless marriage and I don't ever intend to be, but if I were dealing with a medical issue such as depression that killed my sex drive, I wouldn't want the worry on top of it that my husband was going to leave me over it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why I would never get involved with a man who blamed the break-up of a marriage/relationship on lack of sex. I'm not in a sexless marriage and I don't ever intend to be, but if I were dealing with a medical issue such as depression that killed my sex drive, I wouldn't want the worry on top of it that my husband was going to leave me over it.

Excuses, they make lube

[Anonymous]

"Always turns into sex" --- I had my wife use that line on me when it wasn't remotely true. She just ignored the physical touch that didn't turn into sex and only noticed (negatively) the ones where I did try to initiate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why I would never get involved with a man who blamed the break-up of a marriage/relationship on lack of sex. I'm not in a sexless marriage and I don't ever intend to be, but if I were dealing with a medical issue such as depression that killed my sex drive, I wouldn't want the worry on top of it that my husband was going to leave me over it.

TOTALLY AGREE.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why I would never get involved with a man who blamed the break-up of a marriage/relationship on lack of sex. I'm not in a sexless marriage and I don't ever intend to be, but if I were dealing with a medical issue such as depression that killed my sex drive, I wouldn't want the worry on top of it that my husband was going to leave me over it.

Excuses, they make lube

Cool. Then bend over, and let's see how you feel about being penetrated when you're not up for it