5-yr-old daughter wants to be a boy

[Anonymous]

After reading the thread of a parent of a 13-yr-old kid who is grappling with gender identity, I am reaching out in hopes of finding support for gender fluid younger child. She regularly tells me she wants to be a boy. Am going to check out pflag, have read a number of articles, but would love to connect with families of children like mine. Tried calling Children's with no response to date (been about 5 months). I'm a single mom raising my kid alone and just trying to be a good parent. Appreciate any ideas for additional local community groups.

[Anonymous]

When i was 5 i also wanted to be a boy. I was a tomboy and liked to play with cars and climb trees. I thought girls were so lame with their boring doll games so i wanted to be a boy. She is still young, dont read too much into it.

[Anonymous]

My 5 year old DD says she IS a boy all the time! I think in her case it is that she likes more stereotypically "boy" toys and characters. I really don't think that it's a gender identity issue in my DD's case.

Have you asked your daughter WHY she wants to be a boy?

[Anonymous]

She's 5. Maybe she's transgendered, but probably not. Let her do what makes her happy. The rest will fall into place. In a few years if she still feels the same way, then you can figure out how the two of you can best handle it. But, at 5 its not worth even thinking about what if.

[Anonymous]

I would just relax, and wait and see. My younger sister did tHe same thing around age 5, chose a boy name , had her hair cut short, etc. My parents went along and it ended after about a year. Apparently, my mom wasn't,t too concerned because she had gone through a similar phase. Her 5 brothers and sisters still call her by her "boy" name 65 years later.

[Anonymous]

You need to relax --- self medicate if necessary -- and giver her time. This will pass. the WORST THING YOU COULD DO IS TO INVOLVE YOURSELF WITH THE GENDER CONFUSION CROWD. They have an enormous political agenda. The number of children with gender "confusion" is skyrocketing in clinical settings because mental health is jumping on the Caitlynn wagon. Stay off it.

[Anonymous]

OP here--thanks for the 'wait & see' reassurances. I'd also like some local resources so would appreciate any someone in this group might be willing to share. I'd also love to hear from other families of younger children, especially children born female.

It is not that I know where we are heading. I do know younger children transitioning and am not moving there. But when the first thing your kid says as she opens her eyes is, "I'm a boy," I kinda feel a need to understand ways of supporting her and myself.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/transgender-at-five/2012/05/19/gIQABfFkbU_story.html
http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/transgender-at-6-for-tyler-and-his-parents-no-second-thoughts/2013/07/11/eab8b398-ea0f-11e2-a301-ea5a8116d211_story.html

[Anonymous]

Caitlyn is not my kid. I know a couple friends with children closer to 10 with children that have transitioned with names and pronouns. None are local. I'm not trying to get caught in some agenda. I want my kid to feel like the full beautiful kid she is and find other parents that have navigated their child's experience effectively.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to relax --- self medicate if necessary -- and giver her time. This will pass. the WORST THING YOU COULD DO IS TO INVOLVE YOURSELF WITH THE GENDER CONFUSION CROWD. They have an enormous political agenda. The number of children with gender "confusion" is skyrocketing in clinical settings because mental health is jumping on the Caitlynn wagon. Stay off it.

Yes. Don't get sucked into a trend.

[Anonymous]

I'm not a big user of DCUM and trying to remind myself that anyone and everyone can post. I just want helpful local resources. Long before Jenner reemergence, my kid has expressed needs similar to the WP article on "Tyler." I was especially grateful to hear a story of kids born female given all the children's books are about boys & dresses. As stated previously, I am not directing my child some way. I have no agenda other than being a good parent. I'm a straight CIS woman new to much of this. I want some resources and community with other gender no conforming kids close to her age. Thanks in advance to any who might offer help. CNMC has not returned my 2 or more calls.

[Anonymous]

My daughter went through this. I have no idea why -- my leading theory is she enjoyed terrifying her mother, or perhaps wanted to copy her older brothers. Now she's full on pink princess. Do not think this is more than it is.

[Anonymous]

This is a phase. Many girls go through this.

Do NOT make a big deal of this. You will cause more harm than good to your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not a big user of DCUM and trying to remind myself that anyone and everyone can post. I just want helpful local resources. Long before Jenner reemergence, my kid has expressed needs similar to the WP article on "Tyler." I was especially grateful to hear a story of kids born female given all the children's books are about boys & dresses. As stated previously, I am not directing my child some way. I have no agenda other than being a good parent. I'm a straight CIS woman new to much of this. I want some resources and community with other gender no conforming kids close to her age. Thanks in advance to any who might offer help. CNMC has not returned my 2 or more calls.

CNMC is truly best resource for this concern but the administrative side of the entire facility is a disaster.

Have your pediatrician call and get an appointment there for you - there's a separate route for physician referrals vs general calls. They doctors in this group do not have an agenda and don't 'push' kids or families one way or another. Probably convince more parents their kids are not gender variant than confirm it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not a big user of DCUM and trying to remind myself that anyone and everyone can post. I just want helpful local resources. Long before Jenner reemergence, my kid has expressed needs similar to the WP article on "Tyler." I was especially grateful to hear a story of kids born female given all the children's books are about boys & dresses. As stated previously, I am not directing my child some way. I have no agenda other than being a good parent. I'm a straight CIS woman new to much of this. I want some resources and community with other gender no conforming kids close to her age. Thanks in advance to any who might offer help. CNMC has not returned my 2 or more calls.

CNMC is truly best resource for this concern but the administrative side of the entire facility is a disaster.

Have your pediatrician call and get an appointment there for you - there's a separate route for physician referrals vs general calls. They doctors in this group do not have an agenda and don't 'push' kids or families one way or another. Probably convince more parents their kids are not gender variant than confirm it.

Why does she need to jump to a doctor's appt for something that is a very common and normal phase for girls in early elementary?

That is not healthy for the child. She is five. This is perfectly normal behavior for some girls (myself included and I am very "girly" now). Just roll with it and don't make a big deal about it. If it persists last 8 or 9 then maybe revisit the idea but don't jump on this trendy bandwagon. Just because something is trendy does not make it healthy for children.

[Anonymous]

My five year old wanted to be a teletubbie. That is just how kids are. We did not perform any medical or psychological interventions. No surgery either