Can't stand my sister. Am I the only one?

[Anonymous]

Hi, I can't stand my sister. She is really competitive.
- If I lose weight, she needs to be skinnier
- If I have x children, she needs to have x+1
- If my husband makes Y, her husband needs to make much more
- If I have a house, she needs one too

She is a physician and I called her last week because of an ailment (one of my kids is sick). She just yelled at me, saying I was over reacting. She talked to me in a tone that I wouldn't use on anyone.

I had problems conceiving and she rubs it in my face that she's going to have many more kids... She is not a nice person. Very beautiful, I'll give her that. But that's about it.

My husband says I only have one sister. I need to reconcile. But I can't get myself to dial her number. She hasn't called me either. What do you think?

[Anonymous]

she is a bitch. minimize contact.

[Anonymous]

I don't see where the conflict is here. Does she give you ANY reason (other than shared genetics) for staying in touch? If what you've given us is truly the whole story, there's no question. End the relationship.

[Anonymous]

She seems to be jealous of you. Maybe she thinks you are better off, prettier or your parents loved you more. Just limit contact and smile politely. She is family, and family can suck

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm sorry. Will you please post your OP in the various 'Only Child?' threads after the inevitable posts where a handful of people insist that siblings are always a gift and it's cruel to deprive an Only of siblings?

Fwiw, my DH has only "holiday" contact with his only brother, my dad went 30 without talking to his bitch of a sister, and my MIL can't stand her only sister. Your plight is difficult but you are certainly not alone

[Anonymous]

I cannot give your misery company. LOVE my sister to bits.

[Anonymous]

Keep the relationship but minimize contact to non-emotional topics. Believe me, I know how hard this is.

[Anonymous]

I bet the two of you would benefit from couples counseling, if she's local that is. I would explain to her that you are going to cut off contact with her because of these problems, and that one way to stop from doing that is to work together to come to some sort of solution.

I had a falling out with one of my sisters a few years ago. We were staying with her and her family, when she had a house guest that made all sorts of wild accusations. My sister had known this woman for years, and believed her over me. My sister kicked us out (DH, our two babies,and I) and we didn't talk for a while. When we did finally talk, it was strained and very difficult for me. I felt she was judging me, and that she felt superior.

Turns out she was worried about me, thought my DH was abusive (part of the wild lies) and she didn't want to have that much dysfunction around her young children. She just didn't know how to handle the situation properly, and I let too much emotion get in the way of treating the situation practically. My sister always looked out for me, employed me for a while, gave me a way out of my the town I grew up in, and when DH and I temporarily moved to VA, gave us a place to live. Until she kicked us out that is.

Later the woman with the accusations tried something like that with our mother. Our mother is the type of woman you just don't mess with, and the friend (who was visiting my sister in her vacation home) was asked to leave, and never return. Immediately my sister called me and apologized. From that point we were able to work on the damage that was done, and fix our relationship.

Point is, maybe she doesn't know how she is making you feel. Maybe she isn't aware of how she is coming across, and the only way to resolve things would be through communication.

Don't be like my DH. He dropped his bossy know it all brother from his IM, and hasn't spoken to him in months, and doesn't plan to talk to him again either. His brother doesn't know that DH dropped him, and was never given a chance to talk it over.

[Anonymous]

Thanks pps. This is a difficult situation for me. I'm thinking through your advice.

I have daughters and I'm going to try my best to teach them an important lesson: they need to take care of each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi, I can't stand my sister. She is really competitive.
- If I lose weight, she needs to be skinnier
- If I have x children, she needs to have x+1
- If my husband makes Y, her husband needs to make much more
- If I have a house, she needs one too

She is a physician and I called her last week because of an ailment (one of my kids is sick). She just yelled at me, saying I was over reacting. She talked to me in a tone that I wouldn't use on anyone.

I had problems conceiving and she rubs it in my face that she's going to have many more kids... She is not a nice person. Very beautiful, I'll give her that. But that's about it.

My husband says I only have one sister. I need to reconcile. But I can't get myself to dial her number. She hasn't called me either. What do you think?

I'm guessing that you're not the only one who can't stand your sister.

[Anonymous]

You are not alone. I have two sisters. I am the oldest.The one closest to my age is just a bitch to be honest.This isn't the only incident but the last one which has happened.

A little background, I asked her to be in my wedding. I was engaged in September. The wedding was in Feb.
She says, "I don't know, it depends on when and where it is."
I say," Well, the dresses need to be order by X date so we don't have to pay a rush fee because Amsale (designer) take a full three months according to the store."

She says, "I just don't know."

Well, the date came to order the dresses and not a word from her. I call,email, and text nothing for a few weeks. I was completely freaking out just because it was not fair to the other girls. My mom calls her. She screams at my mom. Tells her to be an adult?? WTF? My mom offered to pay for the dress if money was an issue. I text her and just told her to forget it. If she didn't want to do it be honest, step up and say it. Never a word....

We were married in Texas. We did this bc it was closer to our families. She didn't RSVP, didn't come..still not a word...go figure ppl are just so strange.

I"ve come to the conclusion, even though we are family does not mean I have to include her. It means I have to be civil that is it. If she wants to act like that fine, but it is not the controlling factor in my life. I do not pick up the phone to call her. I do not bother with even asking about her.

Op, just move on...it is not worth the grief...believe me.

[Anonymous]

You're not alone. Same boat here. And, I finally just had to end our contact. I try to stay in contact with her kids and don't bad mouth her to our child. But, that's it.

Ignore the typically bitchy posters who have nothing productive to say (yes, 11:32 that's you; not quite sure what your problem is). They obviously don't get what it is like to have nothing in common with a sibling and to have the only tie to that person be a bloodline. In my situation, she is not a person who I would pick to have any kind of relationship with. And, taking enough hostility over the years, I'm just done. It just isn't worth the hassle.

[Anonymous]

I love my sister, but I honestly don't like her very much. She's not quite the piece of work that yours is, but she does do a fair share of telling me how much better she is than me. For me it's the opposite - I've sold out because I have a job that - gasp - makes enough money to live of of (she is an artist and still basically lives off my parents). I just try to take the high road and say nothing.

I don't do anything to cut her out of my life, but I don't go out of my way to see her or talk to her either. And I do think it's one of the reason's I don't feel bad about my kid being an only (I also remember my sister tormentting me about my weight throughout my life - but Karma already got revenge on her for that one).

[Anonymous]

10:55 - why do you even bother responding? That was not the question. Typical.

OP- I am so sorry. It sounds like half my "friends" (using the term loosely) in D.C. Absolutely minimize contact, as a previous poster said. You don't need to expose yourself to that toxicity. She is without question, extremely jealous. There is healthy competition (sports) and unhealthy competition (cutting down others and needing to have what others have). Your sister is the latter and needs help. I wish you to continue to do well. Our job is to please ourselves, no one else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:10:55 - why do you even bother responding? That was not the question. Typical.

The title of the posting, in case you did not read it is Can't stand my sister. Am I the only one? .