Confessions/secrets from Sts, OTs, PTs, special ed teachers, administrators, etc

[Anonymous]

What do you wish you could tell us, but because you need to keep your job, you can't?

I get the feeling quite a few good professionals in the schools and in private practices and hospitals see a lot of crap and they wish they could tell the parent what is really going and give the advice they would give if nobody were listening and they wouldn't get in trouble. Our old OT used to work in a private practice where she was expected to push families to join the social skills group there even if she thought it wasn't right for the child. She also had to say all sorts of things about the groups she didn't think was accurate. I've also felt sometimes trusted teachers couldn't tell us stuff because they have to go along with administration. I'd ask for advice and get a canned response, but they'd subtly give info that indicated they are just following orders.

[Anonymous]

Slp here. I have worked in mont co and dcps.
This may be shocking but i can honestly say that in all the years (15+), colleagues have overehelmingly had the best interests of their students as their top priority. Simple as that. Yes, there have been big slackers along the way but we do not enjoy working with them. Yes, parents can be difficult and behind closed doors we actually help each other understand parents' frustrations, motivations and reactions. I have talked through difficult iep meetings with school social workers to help me understand parents' emotions.
Noone is a special ed teacher, ot, slp, social worker, etc, for the glamour and money. We are in it for the kids and to be solid professionals.

[Anonymous]

As an advocate, I have had both a special ed teacher and a school principal call me at home and say "I'd lose my job for saying this, but child x really needs placement XX."
Cowards.

[Anonymous]

Hmmm- cowards or a flawed system. I am a special education teacher and a SN mom. I don't think there is anything heroic about being unemployed. And as an advocate (paid) you can get your clients great results, right?

My secret would be that the best balance is struck in the place between passive/compliant and hostile. I see many parents come in and treat the teachers as enemies. I feel like they have been coached into doing so- and it's sad. Have a strong voice, for sure and question everything. I do! But stop the rage.

[Anonymous]

OP I appreciate what you're trying to do here but I think a lot of people (see PP above) are going to view this as an opportunity to unload about SN parents. No thanks.

[Anonymous]

I think this is kind of a no-win. You are failing to acknowledge the fact that most of the professionals you name are ethical, well-meaning, hard-working, and on the side of parents. It's as if you think there is going to be an outpouring from each and every therapist, educator, and administrator of secrets they can't wait to unburden themselves about in which parents are duped and children mistreated. I'm cynical, but I'm not this cynical.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think this is kind of a no-win. You are failing to acknowledge the fact that most of the professionals you name are ethical, well-meaning, hard-working, and on the side of parents. It's as if you think there is going to be an outpouring from each and every therapist, educator, and administrator of secrets they can't wait to unburden themselves about in which parents are duped and children mistreated. I'm cynical, but I'm not this cynical.

Thank you for this. I'm an administrator at a Title I school where we don't have parents coming to meetings with lawyers or advocates. Our parents, many of them immigrants, place a great deal of trust in what we say. That is a trust I hold sacred. I take my job as an advocate for children very seriously and have built my entire career around doing what I believe is best for children. I was raised to be an ethical, caring and hard working person. This is what is expected of the teachers I supervise. As a parent, I get that we want the best for our children. I really get it. We work really hard at our school to try to get that right every day. I find that colleagues who support us outside our school are also working at that same level. There are no secrets or confessions I can think of that need to be aired. If I did hold onto something I saw as wrong, and didn't work to correct it, then I'd be complicit in perpetuating that harm. That's not how I operate.

[Anonymous]

As a SPED teacher, I would agree with the above comments. I really do try my hardest to provide students with the best services possible. I struggle with time -- there's never enough time to do what I want to do. And the paperwork is overwhelming. I try my hardest to form really good relationships with parents because I believe that they almost always know what is best for their child. Aside from the paperwork, it is frustrating when parents don't work with their children at home (follow up on homework, reading over the summer, etc.) However, many of these parents either don't speak English or have so much going on in their lives (working two jobs, etc.) that they can't help as much as they probably wish they could.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I appreciate what you're trying to do here but I think a lot of people (see PP above) are going to view this as an opportunity to unload about SN parents. No thanks.

Well, who could blame them? There are unreasonable parents out there too.

[Anonymous]

Thank you for this. I'm an administrator at a Title I school where we don't have parents coming to meetings with lawyers or advocates. Our parents, many of them immigrants, place a great deal of trust in what we say. That is a trust I hold sacred. I take my job as an advocate for children very seriously and have built my entire career around doing what I believe is best for children. I was raised to be an ethical, caring and hard working person. This is what is expected of the teachers I supervise. As a parent, I get that we want the best for our children. I really get it. We work really hard at our school to try to get that right every day. I find that colleagues who support us outside our school are also working at that same level. There are no secrets or confessions I can think of that need to be aired. If I did hold onto something I saw as wrong, and didn't work to correct it, then I'd be complicit in perpetuating that harm. That's not how I operate.

Thank you for posting. I, too, believe that our school teams are hardworking, caring and concerned about my kids. But, I've been in too many IEP meetings where their proposals were woefully inadequate and flew in the face of recommendations from multiple outside evaluators (including multiple IEEs). There was never any disagreement on the test results but the recommendations. There's clearly a check on services. Like 'thou shalt not give more than X'. I'm not look for the 'best' for my kids. I'm looking for appropriate. It's been a battle to get what's appropriate yet, once we get what we battle for, the results show it was the right service/level and we get to keep them in the coming years with no battle. I can't help but conclude that the IEP teams are informed beforehand what the maximum level of support they are authorized to agree to and they are not to go back to the central office for permission to do more. It's only when we've required the attendance of a central office person that we get the services our kids need.

BTW - I really appreciate you participating in these threads. You bring a perspective that is greatly appreciated. Thank you for all your work with kids (SN or not). You really make a difference in their lives.

[Anonymous]

DCPS Central office staff member & SN parent here. Based on what I've seen, know and experienced I would only send my child to about 4-5 of the schools in the entire school system. Overall, we are a total mess - sped teachers are only allowed to teach/instruct the special programs we purchase and each child has to fit into one of the pre-approved instructional programs. ZERO CREATIVITY - the child must fit into one of the programs!! We are so cookie-cutter it's painful. Massive and systemic issues are the norm. Any employee that challenges the aforementioned norm(s) are quite often deemed a trouble-maker and then suddenly this previously good employee is now considered to be failing to meet expectations. Next they are placed on a PIP and fired usually within two months. Most employees have learned that speaking up and advocating for kids will get you fired. The leadership teams are a joke and the central office is so TOP HEAVY. When this new round of terminations happen - I wonder whom will be left to do the work. LOL.

Anyway, I am leaving soon for a job over the bridge in VA.

Good luck and God bless you all!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DCPS Central office staff member & SN parent here. Based on what I've seen, know and experienced I would only send my child to about 4-5 of the schools in the entire school system. Overall, we are a total mess - sped teachers are only allowed to teach/instruct the special programs we purchase and each child has to fit into one of the pre-approved instructional programs. ZERO CREATIVITY - the child must fit into one of the programs!! We are so cookie-cutter it's painful. Massive and systemic issues are the norm. Any employee that challenges the aforementioned norm(s) are quite often deemed a trouble-maker and then suddenly this previously good employee is now considered to be failing to meet expectations. Next they are placed on a PIP and fired usually within two months. Most employees have learned that speaking up and advocating for kids will get you fired. The leadership teams are a joke and the central office is so TOP HEAVY. When this new round of terminations happen - I wonder whom will be left to do the work. LOL.

Anyway, I am leaving soon for a job over the bridge in VA.

Good luck and God bless you all!

What would you say are the 4-5 schools that would be good enough for your child? Thank you for your honest post

[Anonymous]

When parents storm angrily into school and abuse teachers, many teachers just give the parents what they want to stop the abuse. This is rarely in the child's best interests.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hmmm- cowards or a flawed system. I am a special education teacher and a SN mom. I don't think there is anything heroic about being unemployed. And as an advocate (paid) you can get your clients great results, right?

My secret would be that the best balance is struck in the place between passive/compliant and hostile. I see many parents come in and treat the teachers as enemies. I feel like they have been coached into doing so- and it's sad. Have a strong voice, for sure and question everything. I do! But stop the rage.

This.

[Anonymous]

I have been a teacher and am a SN mom. Yes, there are amazing people in the system, but yes there are burnouts and incompetent people too.

Some faculty and quite a few specialists over the years were too quick to label parents (usually the mom) difficult and crazy and not collaborate effectively. When people warned me about parents I was always quite pleased to say I've had no problems when the teacher who warned me asks me how things are going. I was able to check my ego at the door and hear feedback and use it. Even before I had my own child, I had tremendous empathy for parents, even the angry ones. Usually the "crazy" parents give people the benefit of the doubt and they only get "crazy" when they lose trust in that particular teacher.

There are lousy teachers who never get fired. Parents would complain to me and I could never agree. I had to always tell them to speak with the principal. When they point blank asked me what I thought of the teacher, I lied and said I had not observed the teaching.

Kids were denied services they desperately needed. I could never tell the parents, but I just would try to advocate behind the scenes and this was rarely successful.

There are people on power trips. There are people who play favorites. While there are many good people in the system, I think it would lying to portray a system where we all love everyone, sing kumbuya and hold hands.

The first step to chance is recognizing there is a problem. I think too many people need to pretend everything is OK.