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What is the deal with wedding showers that I am supposed to pay to attend?!
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Anonymous
| In the last month I have been invited to two wedding showers. Both sent save the dates (via email) in advance about the events - stating date, time location. Then, when the date was about two weeks away I get the more formal invite which includes a request that I pay - each asking for $80.00 contribution. I would like to add that another group of friends has already thrown a shower for each person which I attended and bought gifts for. Now I am supposed to spend 80 to attend and another gift. I think asking people to contribute is just plain tacky. Has this happened to anyone else? |
Anonymous
|
Is your contribution to defray the hostess's food and beverage cost? If you can't afford to throw a party, DON'T.
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Anonymous
| THat is the tackiest thing I have ever heard and would not go at all! I know times are tough but for crying out loud, if they cant afford to host a proper shower, there is nothing wrong with tea and cookies at someones home. |
Anonymous
| The only time I've ever heard of a guest being asked to contribute to a shower is if that guest is also being asked to be one of the hosts - like when all the bridesmaids are hosting a shower, for example. I would politely decline the invitation. |
Anonymous
| Whoa. Yeah, I'd decline, too. |
Anonymous
| Yeah, sorry, that' way tacky! |
Anonymous
| Unless you're a bridesmaid, boycott - tacky. |
Anonymous
| I would call the hosts to confirm that you didn't misread the invitation. These hosts need to know how tasteless this is! |
Anonymous
| If there's more than 10 people attending...that's over $800.00. How could that possibly be? |
Anonymous
|
What place can possibly charge that much?
Maybe it's a reflection of the recession. Next thing we'll start seeing wedding invitations with requests for payments. Or wedding pot lucks. |
Anonymous
good point |
Anonymous
|
OP, decline the invitation without hesitation. Unless you are a bridesmaid, this is very inappropriate. Hearing you say that two separate sets of friends is unsettling. The bride will be so embarrassed when she finds out her friends have done this! I agree with a PP. Tea and cookies at someone's home is perfectly acceptable and can be just as special. Ick, I still can't get over it -- why would anyone think this was okay???
PS. Something else that I dont' think anyone else has pointed out. If you already attended one shower and gave a gift, the hosts of this second shower should invite you with the assurance that you should not bring a gift since you have already given a gift at another one. If the shower was a surprise and the bride was not involved with determining a guest list, sometimes this is understandably overlooked. But still -- nobody should be expecting you to bring a gift to both showers. Athough with these people, who knows -- they may not have normal expectations!!! |
Anonymous
| OP here - thanks for the responses. I was having one of those moments where I thought it clear that asking guests to pay/ Yes, this was/is to defray the costs of the events, one of which was held at a spa and one of which will be at a bar/restaurant. I am going to decline (especially since the one coming up would cost me 80 + babysitter + gift). |
Anonymous
| DECLINE. I was just married in FEB. I would be mortified if I found out a hostess asked shower guests to help with a shower.. mortified. |
Anonymous
| Don't go. Just say "sorry, I can't make it." |