So many tears - almost 5 year old boy

[Anonymous]

Hi - advice needed. We have a 4 year 10 month old son that is constantly in tears. He has always been sensitive but it has been out of control recently. He cries when we say no, screams whenever he even slightly hurts himself, overreacts when his little sister bothers him (2.5) etc. We have tried telling to walk away, sitting with him until he gets it together, not responding unless we can stop etc but nothing works. It actually seems to be getting worse. He does it sometimes at preschool but mostly saves it for mom and dad. I am positive that our reactions are part of the problem and are desperate to figure how to turn a corner.

Appreciate feedback from parents that have been through this before... thanks!

[Anonymous]

How do you handle it?

[Anonymous]

DS is not a sensitive child and went through this same phase around the same age. Finally we either hit on a solution that worked or he just outgrew it. Our solution was to first reassure him followed by a hug and then immediately told him it was over and to stop the nonsense. If he continued his crying jag we walked away. Either our solution worked or he just got tired of the melodrama.

[Anonymous]

Try recording him. Play it back when he's calm. Works wonders.

[Anonymous]

I ignore it mostly. Walk by, give a quick pat on the head. Or call her to me, give her a quick hug, then tell her to go play with something. If she's grumpy because she's hungry, I offer a snack. I am much more nurturing when she's very tired, and in that case, I will hold her in my arms, and let her cry it out.

[Anonymous]

Our son (with similar age difference sister) was/is just like this at this age. he's almost 6 now and is almost starting to grow out of it. I talked to the pediatrician about it who said it's not really out of the ordinary. I'd go with 20:39 and realize that it's probably a phase, albeit probably a long one. Our son is just very emo. We just try and give him the tools to work it out and also try not to buy into it too much to prolong it.

[Anonymous]

I have a 4 year, 10 month old DD who acts the same way! I pray it's a phase.

[Anonymous]

OP here - thanks everyone. I really appreciate your thoughts. I am going to try the recording idea...worth a shot!

[Anonymous]

OP again. We tried recording - no improvement. Any other thoughts? thanks!

[Anonymous]

Have you tried telling him to suck it up?

[Anonymous]

Our son started this behavior around 6, we let it go for a while until at age 7 we found out that he was crying at school for pointless things. (He has a kid in class that has emotional problems and cries non-stop.) We did try everything. So we finally said, unless you are bleeding you are not allowed to cry. We told him that he needed to try everything before he started crying... walk away, take deep breathes, pray, tell yourself a joke, talk to someone, think of a story... with practice he has finally stopped.

Good Luck.

[Anonymous]

You have two options:

1) acknowledge then ignore ("I know you're upset we aren't going to watch tv" then silence)

Or

2) punish. If you're going to make a big deal about not watching TV, there won't be tv tomorrow either.

Be consistent.

[Anonymous]

So glad I found this thread! Our 5 year old is just like this. I'm hoping he'll grow out of it. We do the "acknowledge then ignore" route, sometimes skipping the "acknowledge" part if it's truly ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

OP, he is just a sweet and sensitive little guy who has a severe case of 1st child syndrome. It is a phase and while annoying you will long for this sweet and sensitive child again as he gets older. I would definitely be consistent and tell him he is free to cry, in his room or away from you, and when he is done he is welcome to join back in the fun. For us this meant that there was no crying at dinner, in the playroom, in the car (!!) or at church. Mine got really good at going to his room, crying then coming back to snuggle a bit and move on. As he spends more time in school this will get better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you tried telling him to suck it up?

Exactly.