So many tears - almost 5 year old boy

[Anonymous]

Stay calm. Comfort him calmly, without getting into the drama yourself. Don't punish or humiliate a kid for having feelings - that's just mean!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stay calm. Comfort him calmly, without getting into the drama yourself. Don't punish or humiliate a kid for having feelings - that's just mean!

+1. And for those saying tell him to suck it up, a five year old isn't going to understand what that even means. He's just going to register a lack of compassion. Doesn't actually solve anything because it's not teaching him how to deal with emotions more effectively.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our son started this behavior around 6, we let it go for a while uuntil at age 7 we found out that he was crying at school for pointless things. (He has a kid in class that has emotional problems and cries non-stop.) We did try everything. So we finally said, unless you are bleeding you are not allowed to cry. We told him that he needed to try everything before he started crying... walk away, take deep breathes, pray, tell yourself a joke, talk to someone, think of a story... with practice he has finally stopped.

Good Luck.

Of course you shouldn't coddle your kid every time he cries but teaching him that his feelings aren't valid is terrible.Do you never cry unless you're bleeding?

[Anonymous]

I'm not PP, but I don't cry unless a close relative dies. It would never occur to anyone in my family to cry because of injury, annoyance or "bother". I know there are people out there who do cry when they are feeling the slightest bit of upset, but that seems so self-indulgent and completely alien to us.

That being said, our middle chid can break a bone and not cry, but he will cry when he gets extremely frustrated.

[Anonymous]

There is nothing more eyeroll-inducing than a weepy, wimpy, indulged little boy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is nothing more eyeroll-inducing than a weepy, wimpy, indulged little boy.

Though I can't support your statement in letter, it is certainly true that this is something that is universally found to be insufferable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stay calm. Comfort him calmly, without getting into the drama yourself. Don't punish or humiliate a kid for having feelings - that's just mean!

+1. And for those saying tell him to suck it up, a five year old isn't going to understand what that even means. He's just going to register a lack of compassion. Doesn't actually solve anything because it's not teaching him how to deal with emotions more effectively.

Completely agree.

My son is 4.5 and this is his very first weepy stage. He gets overstimulated/wound up very easily and cries easily. Never had any of the 2- or 3-year-old dramatics. A few of his friends are the same way at this age, so I think this is not uncommon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stay calm. Comfort him calmly, without getting into the drama yourself. Don't punish or humiliate a kid for having feelings - that's just mean!

+1. And for those saying tell him to suck it up, a five year old isn't going to understand what that even means. He's just going to register a lack of compassion. Doesn't actually solve anything because it's not teaching him how to deal with emotions more effectively.

Not all emotions are equal. Sometimes you need to teach kids to turn it off. If not, you're just raising a cry baby. It's alright to cry but some kids need to be taught when it's isn't. It's also alright to toughen up.

[Anonymous]

Agree. No one ever longs to have a child, teen or adult around who cries more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stay calm. Comfort him calmly, without getting into the drama yourself. Don't punish or humiliate a kid for having feelings - that's just mean!

+1. And for those saying tell him to suck it up, a five year old isn't going to understand what that even means. He's just going to register a lack of compassion. Doesn't actually solve anything because it's not teaching him how to deal with emotions more effectively.

Not all emotions are equal. Sometimes you need to teach kids to turn it off. If not, you're just raising a cry baby. It's alright to cry but some kids need to be taught when it's isn't. It's also alright to toughen up.

I totally agree!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stay calm. Comfort him calmly, without getting into the drama yourself. Don't punish or humiliate a kid for having feelings - that's just mean!

+1. And for those saying tell him to suck it up, a five year old isn't going to understand what that even means. He's just going to register a lack of compassion. Doesn't actually solve anything because it's not teaching him how to deal with emotions more effectively.

Not all emotions are equal. Sometimes you need to teach kids to turn it off. If not, you're just raising a cry baby. It's alright to cry but some kids need to be taught when it's isn't. It's also alright to toughen up.

I totally agree!

I don't disagree but the question seems to be how to help a little one know when it is "ok" to cry and when it is not. Clearly crying all of the time isn't going to work - but what techniques are going to work with the super sensitive kid without screwing them up?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not PP, but I don't cry unless a close relative dies. It would never occur to anyone in my family to cry because of injury, annoyance or "bother". I know there are people out there who do cry when they are feeling the slightest bit of upset, but that seems so self-indulgent and completely alien to us.

That being said, our middle chid can break a bone and not cry, but he will cry when he gets extremely frustrated.

I bet you're one screwed up family!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is nothing more eyeroll-inducing than a weepy, wimpy, indulged little boy.

Except a nasty, judgmental adult.

[Anonymous]

Praise him when he is not crying or when he handles something even remotely well. Praise him for recovering from crying. Things like "I am so proud of you for acting like a big boy!", "great job taking a deep breath instead of crying. That was great!", "I really like how you handled that situation", etc.

Also, try integrating some mindful activities into your day. If you know something will set him off, count to 10, have him close his eyes, take a deep breath, etc. Maybe also try kids yoga? Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stay calm. Comfort him calmly, without getting into the drama yourself. Don't punish or humiliate a kid for having feelings - that's just mean!

+1. And for those saying tell him to suck it up, a five year old isn't going to understand what that even means. He's just going to register a lack of compassion. Doesn't actually solve anything because it's not teaching him how to deal with emotions more effectively.

Not all emotions are equal. Sometimes you need to teach kids to turn it off. If not, you're just raising a cry baby. It's alright to cry but some kids need to be taught when it's isn't. It's also alright to toughen up.

I totally agree!

I don't disagree but the question seems to be how to help a little one know when it is "ok" to cry and when it is not. Clearly crying all of the time isn't going to work - but what techniques are going to work with the super sensitive kid without screwing them up?

When it's something that does not warrant tears you tell them they need to suck it up and be tougher. 5 is not too young to hear and understand this. You ignore until they get themselves under control. It will take some time, but it's got to be done. If it's really not improving - it's time to consult an expert. There are times when they are actually hurt and need comfort- save it for those moments. They will start to identify the appropriate time for tears.