Bad Art Friend

[Anonymous]

Here is a photo of the Chunky Monkeys, if I can manage to do a Twitter link right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:@kidneygate’s chronology of the emails between Dawn and Sonya is more damning than I can even describe. I’m not on Twitter but anyone on and interested: can you share broadly?

https://mobile.twitter.com/kidneygate/status/1447625724052004864

Wow, Dawn was not badgering her at all. She genuinely talked about why she was confused and hurt because she thought they were friends. Sonya went above and beyond to string her along. It definitely shows a clearer story, not the dramatization in the NYT.

Yeah, I'm pissed at Kolker.

I wonder if he’s connected to Grub Street or the monkeys

Cheryl Strayed’s partner with Dear Sugar taught at Grub Street and she just promoted his “dawww, both sides erred” essay — which he clearly wrote in order to defend himself and Strayed. Dawn Dorland noted in the NYT story that she had written in to Dear Sugar for advice, and they did not respond.

People responding to Strayed aren’t having it.

Strayed is a turd.

https://mobile.twitter.com/CherylStrayed/status/1447579114794147840

Strayed is pretty bad - Dear Sugar was the worst sort of solipsistic poser-edgy indulgent nonsense for faux smart people.

[Anonymous]

Strayed was on my DNR list already, so no change there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:@kidneygate’s chronology of the emails between Dawn and Sonya is more damning than I can even describe. I’m not on Twitter but anyone on and interested: can you share broadly?

https://mobile.twitter.com/kidneygate/status/1447625724052004864

Wow, Dawn was not badgering her at all. She genuinely talked about why she was confused and hurt because she thought they were friends. Sonya went above and beyond to string her along. It definitely shows a clearer story, not the dramatization in the NYT.

Yeah, I'm pissed at Kolker.

I wonder if he’s connected to Grub Street or the monkeys

I can't quite figure out his angle here. Did he not read the court documents? Does he worry about being kept from publishing by friends of powerful writers like Gay and Ng? Why would he publish something like that article, knowing that the receipts would all be checked, that there is not a factual dispute about what actually happened? Is the NYC literary culture so insular that the bald words on the page are irrelevant? I don't understand.

Ding, ding, ding...Twitter sleuths strike again. Kolker went in to the project favoring Larson, and for whatever reason had to sell himself.

https://mobile.twitter.com/NY_popcorn/status/1447671480200929283/photo/1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:@kidneygate’s chronology of the emails between Dawn and Sonya is more damning than I can even describe. I’m not on Twitter but anyone on and interested: can you share broadly?

https://mobile.twitter.com/kidneygate/status/1447625724052004864

Thank you for this link, so much clarity. The following excerpts made me think of something I wanted to share:

When Sonya talks (derisively) in her text to Sari about how Dorland is using Facebook for "emotional food" and how she can't stop pulling that lever, I think there is something to that. Facebook does operate in that way, and getting validation on Facebook does in fact feel like being a lab rat pulling a lever for your little hit of dopamine. And I do think Dorland likely was pulling that lever, as many of us have and do on Facebook -- the platform was in fact designed for this purpose, as has recently become more abundantly clear.

I think it's strange, though, to judge someone for this. First, many, many people use Facebook in this way. Yes, it is annoying and if you spend any time at all on the platform, many people become tired of this feedback cycle. So it is odd to single Dawn out even if she seems like a particularly keen example of this. It's an exceedingly human need, validation. Everyone craves it to some extent, I don't care how self-actualized you think you are -- at some point or another, you feel vulnerable and need someone to say "You are okay." We're born needing this, and many people don't get it at the time when it would be most useful to them as people (childhood) and spend their lives looking for it. It's sad, but not something to ridicule.

Which brings me to my second point, which is that this is all unbelievably hypocritical. One thing I get very clearly from the many text and email exchanges I've seen between Sonya and her friends is that they are constantly engaging in the very "emotional food" they deride Dawn for needing. It's one big circle jerk of people telling one another how much they love each other's writing, how right they are, how justified even their least attractive or appealing feelings and behaviors are. Is it any surprise that someone like Dawn, who was in proximity to people engaging in this kind of mutual admiration society, would have an intense craving for the same validation? What is more lonely than feeling unloved? Why, feeling unloved while the person next to you is showered with praise and affection of course.

It's just interesting to me that this group of writers, a profession grounded in observation about the human condition, would manage just 20% of the observations available to them in this very rich human drama. All they could see was "look how needy Dawn is!" without once seeming to see how they themselves are needy, how need is human, how our institutions both feed and create need, etc. etc. The situation is ripe for fictionalization, and yet they stopped at the most prosaic and obvious part.

Sad.

This is thoughtful, thank you for writing it out. I think you are right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:@kidneygate’s chronology of the emails between Dawn and Sonya is more damning than I can even describe. I’m not on Twitter but anyone on and interested: can you share broadly?

https://mobile.twitter.com/kidneygate/status/1447625724052004864

Wow, Dawn was not badgering her at all. She genuinely talked about why she was confused and hurt because she thought they were friends. Sonya went above and beyond to string her along. It definitely shows a clearer story, not the dramatization in the NYT.

Yeah, I'm pissed at Kolker.

I wonder if he’s connected to Grub Street or the monkeys

I can't quite figure out his angle here. Did he not read the court documents? Does he worry about being kept from publishing by friends of powerful writers like Gay and Ng? Why would he publish something like that article, knowing that the receipts would all be checked, that there is not a factual dispute about what actually happened? Is the NYC literary culture so insular that the bald words on the page are irrelevant? I don't understand.

Because he had to paint Dawn as crazy to make the story compelling. Once the court documents are brought in the case is pretty cut and dry in Dawn’s favor.

[Anonymous]

But did he not think that the documents would be read by anyone else? That we would read the underlying material and form our own conclusions?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:@kidneygate’s chronology of the emails between Dawn and Sonya is more damning than I can even describe. I’m not on Twitter but anyone on and interested: can you share broadly?

https://mobile.twitter.com/kidneygate/status/1447625724052004864

Thank you for this link, so much clarity. The following excerpts made me think of something I wanted to share:

When Sonya talks (derisively) in her text to Sari about how Dorland is using Facebook for "emotional food" and how she can't stop pulling that lever, I think there is something to that. Facebook does operate in that way, and getting validation on Facebook does in fact feel like being a lab rat pulling a lever for your little hit of dopamine. And I do think Dorland likely was pulling that lever, as many of us have and do on Facebook -- the platform was in fact designed for this purpose, as has recently become more abundantly clear.

I think it's strange, though, to judge someone for this. First, many, many people use Facebook in this way. Yes, it is annoying and if you spend any time at all on the platform, many people become tired of this feedback cycle. So it is odd to single Dawn out even if she seems like a particularly keen example of this. It's an exceedingly human need, validation. Everyone craves it to some extent, I don't care how self-actualized you think you are -- at some point or another, you feel vulnerable and need someone to say "You are okay." We're born needing this, and many people don't get it at the time when it would be most useful to them as people (childhood) and spend their lives looking for it. It's sad, but not something to ridicule.

Which brings me to my second point, which is that this is all unbelievably hypocritical. One thing I get very clearly from the many text and email exchanges I've seen between Sonya and her friends is that they are constantly engaging in the very "emotional food" they deride Dawn for needing. It's one big circle jerk of people telling one another how much they love each other's writing, how right they are, how justified even their least attractive or appealing feelings and behaviors are. Is it any surprise that someone like Dawn, who was in proximity to people engaging in this kind of mutual admiration society, would have an intense craving for the same validation? What is more lonely than feeling unloved? Why, feeling unloved while the person next to you is showered with praise and affection of course.

It's just interesting to me that this group of writers, a profession grounded in observation about the human condition, would manage just 20% of the observations available to them in this very rich human drama. All they could see was "look how needy Dawn is!" without once seeming to see how they themselves are needy, how need is human, how our institutions both feed and create need, etc. etc. The situation is ripe for fictionalization, and yet they stopped at the most prosaic and obvious part.

Sad.

Such an astute observation. I really feel for Dawn. God. These people are so horrible in their cool, removed, fake callousness and sugar-frosted cruelty.

[Anonymous]

Can we just get back to Dawn donating the kidney now? She is a fascinating person, and her way of writing is also dense and layered, even in her emails. Someone really needs to write an actual novel about Dawn, where they try to actually capture this character. I can sort of see how the Chunky Monkeys were captivated by the literary possibilities, and yet they were somehow so petty about it that the could not see how unique and character-full Dawn is. I think they were driven kind of crazy with jealously to see that someone could be so effortlessly expressive both in writing and in how she lived her live.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But did he not think that the documents would be read by anyone else? That we would read the underlying material and form our own conclusions?

I’m not sure he cared what happened after he got the clicks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:@kidneygate’s chronology of the emails between Dawn and Sonya is more damning than I can even describe. I’m not on Twitter but anyone on and interested: can you share broadly?

https://mobile.twitter.com/kidneygate/status/1447625724052004864

Wow, Dawn was not badgering her at all. She genuinely talked about why she was confused and hurt because she thought they were friends. Sonya went above and beyond to string her along. It definitely shows a clearer story, not the dramatization in the NYT.

Yeah, I'm pissed at Kolker.

I wonder if he’s connected to Grub Street or the monkeys

I can't quite figure out his angle here. Did he not read the court documents? Does he worry about being kept from publishing by friends of powerful writers like Gay and Ng? Why would he publish something like that article, knowing that the receipts would all be checked, that there is not a factual dispute about what actually happened? Is the NYC literary culture so insular that the bald words on the page are irrelevant? I don't understand.

Ding, ding, ding...Twitter sleuths strike again. Kolker went in to the project favoring Larson, and for whatever reason had to sell himself.

https://mobile.twitter.com/NY_popcorn/status/1447671480200929283/photo/1

Well.

Holy shit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can we just get back to Dawn donating the kidney now? She is a fascinating person, and her way of writing is also dense and layered, even in her emails. Someone really needs to write an actual novel about Dawn, where they try to actually capture this character. I can sort of see how the Chunky Monkeys were captivated by the literary possibilities, and yet they were somehow so petty about it that the could not see how unique and character-full Dawn is. I think they were driven kind of crazy with jealously to see that someone could be so effortlessly expressive both in writing and in how she lived her live.

... it was like Dawn's plain honesty and lack of cynicism and guile, both in her writing and how she lives her life, drove them crazy. They couldn't stand the fact that someone could have a life filled with such meaning that did not come with an $800,000 advance and lots of snark.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:@kidneygate’s chronology of the emails between Dawn and Sonya is more damning than I can even describe. I’m not on Twitter but anyone on and interested: can you share broadly?

https://mobile.twitter.com/kidneygate/status/1447625724052004864

Wow, Dawn was not badgering her at all. She genuinely talked about why she was confused and hurt because she thought they were friends. Sonya went above and beyond to string her along. It definitely shows a clearer story, not the dramatization in the NYT.

Yeah, I'm pissed at Kolker.

I wonder if he’s connected to Grub Street or the monkeys

I can't quite figure out his angle here. Did he not read the court documents? Does he worry about being kept from publishing by friends of powerful writers like Gay and Ng? Why would he publish something like that article, knowing that the receipts would all be checked, that there is not a factual dispute about what actually happened? Is the NYC literary culture so insular that the bald words on the page are irrelevant? I don't understand.

Ding, ding, ding...Twitter sleuths strike again. Kolker went in to the project favoring Larson, and for whatever reason had to sell himself.

https://mobile.twitter.com/NY_popcorn/status/1447671480200929283/photo/1

wowzers!

[Anonymous]

It seems like Dawn has begun slowly emerging from her shell on Twitter. And of course one of her first tweets is to forgive someone who shit talked her on the platform. I don't know if she'll be making any more responses, but... damn.

I hope she feels vindicated. I hope she feels some of the well of support that has been drawn up around her in some corners of the internet. I don't know why I feel so personally about this, ugh. Maybe I need to step away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can we just get back to Dawn donating the kidney now? She is a fascinating person, and her way of writing is also dense and layered, even in her emails. Someone really needs to write an actual novel about Dawn, where they try to actually capture this character. I can sort of see how the Chunky Monkeys were captivated by the literary possibilities, and yet they were somehow so petty about it that the could not see how unique and character-full Dawn is. I think they were driven kind of crazy with jealously to see that someone could be so effortlessly expressive both in writing and in how she lived her live.

A thousand percent.