New boyfriend made a comment about my body.. Help

[Anonymous]

I hope I don't get flagged, but I really don't want to ask in the explicit forum. I'm 20 and lost my V two weeks ago. I'm self-conscious about my body, like most other women. My bf has twice made comments about my breasts and I don't know how know how to decipher it. TMI - I am 34C and have large areolas. Not huge but bigger than usual. Both times, after sex, my NF has said " Man.those boobs..those nipples...". He said is so nonchalantly that I don't know if it's a good or bad thing. I grew up hating my boobs for the large aerological and wonder if he hates them, too? He is 24 and not a virgin.

[Anonymous]

Smile and say, you like them?

[Anonymous]

You gotta be kidding. Of course he likes them!

Personally, I've never had my hand on a naked boob that I didn't like...

[Anonymous]

Relax, OP. He's admiring. It's not negative.

[Anonymous]

Troll.

[Anonymous]

Oh lordy. To be 20 again. Why do you care what he thinks?? Just be confident and love yourself. You will see that if you love yourself, men (and women) will flock to you! I think big areolas are super sexy.

[Anonymous]

He likes them.

[Anonymous]

He doesn't like them, he loves them. That to me sounds like a statement of wonderment.

To echo the earlier comment, learn to love yourself first. Self confidence in a woman is incredibly to us men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh lordy. To be 20 again. Why do you care what he thinks?? Just be confident and love yourself. You will see that if you love yourself, men (and women) will flock to you! I think big areolas are super sexy.

I care because he is my boyfriend. I grew up in an abusive household and was made to feel ugly, unwanted, and have low-self worth. I was also sexually abused as a young child by a neighbor. I want him to love me and my body. I know he loves me. We have been dating for 17 months and he waited until I was ready to give him my V.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hope I don't get flagged, but I really don't want to ask in the explicit forum. I'm 20 and lost my V two weeks ago. I'm self-conscious about my body, like most other women. My bf has twice made comments about my breasts and I don't know how know how to decipher it. TMI - I am 34C and have large areolas. Not huge but bigger than usual. Both times, after sex, my NF has said " Man.those boobs..those nipples...". He said is so nonchalantly that I don't know if it's a good or bad thing. I grew up hating my boobs for the large aerological and wonder if he hates them, too? He is 24 and not a virgin.

Does he pinch your nipples?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He doesn't like them, he loves them. That to me sounds like a statement of wonderment.

To echo the earlier comment, learn to love yourself first. Self confidence in a woman is incredibly to us men.

+1 But it's okay to ask on DCUM just to be sure. Given all you've been through I can understand why you would question yourself. Hang in there, OP! Keep working on yourself.

[Anonymous]

Man here. He likes them. It's a compliment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope I don't get flagged, but I really don't want to ask in the explicit forum. I'm 20 and lost my V two weeks ago. I'm self-conscious about my body, like most other women. My bf has twice made comments about my breasts and I don't know how know how to decipher it. TMI - I am 34C and have large areolas. Not huge but bigger than usual. Both times, after sex, my NF has said " Man.those boobs..those nipples...". He said is so nonchalantly that I don't know if it's a good or bad thing. I grew up hating my boobs for the large aerological and wonder if he hates them, too? He is 24 and not a virgin.

Does he pinch your nipples?

Yes, but I love a lot of nipple stimulation. They become really sensitive as I get aroused. He doesn't seem to mind playing and sucking them. We have only had sex three times though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh lordy. To be 20 again. Why do you care what he thinks?? Just be confident and love yourself. You will see that if you love yourself, men (and women) will flock to you! I think big areolas are super sexy.

I care because he is my boyfriend. I grew up in an abusive household and was made to feel ugly, unwanted, and have low-self worth. I was also sexually abused as a young child by a neighbor. I want him to love me and my body. I know he loves me. We have been dating for 17 months and he waited until I was ready to give him my V.

OP, I am sorry you had it rough, transferring your feelings of self-worth to another human being is not the right way. YOU have to love your body- I know it is easier said than done, and at your age I didn't, and hadn't suffered to the level that you have in your lifetime. All your insecurities will not just magically get better for you if he loves you and your body, but really the only way to repair what you have been through is to do it for yourself. The sooner you realize that the sooner you can meet someone who wouldn't make you feel self-conscious about your body

[Anonymous]

OP here -- the night I first met my wife, her and I actually had a very similar misinterpretation. She's got large nipples, and I thought this was basically the greatest thing ever since the dawn of time, but I was just sort of like George-Takei-voice "Oh myyyyyyy" and she had always been self-conscious about them, because apparently women erroneously think small nipples are attractive to men or something?, and so she thought I was saying something negative.

I was not.

They were amazing. They are amazing. Your boyfriend almost certainly thinks yours are amazing too.

If it turns out I'm wrong and he was being a dick, then call him out on that obviously and stick up for yourself.


But there is a 99.99% chance he was extremely pleased with them. Sometimes, being extremely pleased with boobs turns us into quasi-verbal creatures slightly dumber than a dog. Apologies for any confusion.