New boyfriend made a comment about my body.. Help

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here -- the night I first met my wife, her and I actually had a very similar misinterpretation. She's got large nipples, and I thought this was basically the greatest thing ever since the dawn of time, but I was just sort of like George-Takei-voice "Oh myyyyyyy" and she had always been self-conscious about them, because apparently women erroneously think small nipples are attractive to men or something?, and so she thought I was saying something negative.

I was not.

They were amazing. They are amazing. Your boyfriend almost certainly thinks yours are amazing too.

If it turns out I'm wrong and he was being a dick, then call him out on that obviously and stick up for yourself.


But there is a 99.99% chance he was extremely pleased with them. Sometimes, being extremely pleased with boobs turns us into quasi-verbal creatures slightly dumber than a dog. Apologies for any confusion.

Sorry, didn't mean to say 'OP here' -- I meant to say 'NP here'. Such is the power of attractively-nippled women to ruin a man's ability to concentrate and verbalize his thoughts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh lordy. To be 20 again. Why do you care what he thinks?? Just be confident and love yourself. You will see that if you love yourself, men (and women) will flock to you! I think big areolas are super sexy.

I care because he is my boyfriend. I grew up in an abusive household and was made to feel ugly, unwanted, and have low-self worth. I was also sexually abused as a young child by a neighbor. I want him to love me and my body. I know he loves me. We have been dating for 17 months and he waited until I was ready to give him my V.

OP, I am sorry you had it rough, transferring your feelings of self-worth to another human being is not the right way. YOU have to love your body- I know it is easier said than done, and at your age I didn't, and hadn't suffered to the level that you have in your lifetime. All your insecurities will not just magically get better for you if he loves you and your body, but really the only way to repair what you have been through is to do it for yourself. The sooner you realize that the sooner you can meet someone who wouldn't make you feel self-conscious about your body

I know it may appear like in valuing my self-worth by what he thinks of my body, but I'm not. I just want to geek comfortable being naked around him. Him liking my body contributes to that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh lordy. To be 20 again. Why do you care what he thinks?? Just be confident and love yourself. You will see that if you love yourself, men (and women) will flock to you! I think big areolas are super sexy.

I care because he is my boyfriend. I grew up in an abusive household and was made to feel ugly, unwanted, and have low-self worth. I was also sexually abused as a young child by a neighbor. I want him to love me and my body. I know he loves me. We have been dating for 17 months and he waited until I was ready to give him my V.

OP, I am sorry you had it rough, transferring your feelings of self-worth to another human being is not the right way. YOU have to love your body- I know it is easier said than done, and at your age I didn't, and hadn't suffered to the level that you have in your lifetime. All your insecurities will not just magically get better for you if he loves you and your body, but really the only way to repair what you have been through is to do it for yourself. The sooner you realize that the sooner you can meet someone who wouldn't make you feel self-conscious about your body

I know it may appear like in valuing my self-worth by what he thinks of my body, but I'm not. I just want to geek comfortable being naked around him. Him liking my body contributes to that.

That's totally fair! And it's pretty clear he does in fact like (nay, love) your body, so you should be good to go.

[Anonymous]

OP I want to marry you.

[Anonymous]

First off, 98% of men at least like, if not love, 98% of non-elderly breasts, regardless of shape, size, color, features, etc. Honestly. So the odds are very heavily in your favor that he likes/loves your breasts. I have never heard a man say he disliked large areolas, EVER. I've never even read it in a forum. I've always heard them liking and loving that variation. His comments are said in awe. I can guarantee you. If you need to know for sure, say what someone else suggested: "you like?" and he will elaborate in his answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh lordy. To be 20 again. Why do you care what he thinks?? Just be confident and love yourself. You will see that if you love yourself, men (and women) will flock to you! I think big areolas are super sexy.

I care because he is my boyfriend. I grew up in an abusive household and was made to feel ugly, unwanted, and have low-self worth. I was also sexually abused as a young child by a neighbor. I want him to love me and my body. I know he loves me. We have been dating for 17 months and he waited until I was ready to give him my V.

He either loves your body or he doesn't. You can't beg someone to love your body. Do YOU love your body? Be confident in your beauty and then you will stop caring what other men think about your boobs.

[Anonymous]

He loves them!

[Anonymous]

Why not ask him?

[Anonymous]

He likes it. don't be paranoid

[Anonymous]

OP, he loves them. Fake it until you make it. Speak to a therapist about your past too. Trust me, you will miss your current boobs 20 years from now!

[Anonymous]

Completely unrelated to what you asked, but you may want to consider therapy to deal with your childhood and the abuse you grew up with. Your "giving him" your virginity puts a lot of unnecessary baggage behind something that is a pretty natural human interaction. Stop overthinking things.