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If you make about 400K (divorce planning)
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Anonymous
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I am trying to figure out how to make a divorce work given that I would like to disrupt the kids' lives as little as possible. We will be losing my STBXH's salary of about $250K, but I make about $400K. The problem is we have a large mortgage, the kids are both in independent schools, and I am told if we sell the house in this market we would be lucky to cover the mortgage and the brokers' selling commission.
The most important thing to me is to figure out how to keep them in school and, secondarily, how to keep our expensive but amazing nanny ($1K/week). Seems to me that options are downsize significantly and rent (since I will have no money for a downpayment at least at first; I assume at some point STBXH will have to give me something for child support and some of our other assets he is going to want to keep), try to find a working mom through co-abode who would be able to give me enough to make my mortgage payment and help with the nanny who would be happy for the childcare and for living in bounds at a good elementary, or something else I haven't thought of. If your income is in this range, can you give me an idea of what your housing and childcare costs look like? My STBXH has never met a toy he hasn't had to have, so we have very bad financial habits and little savings, so I am really clueless about this. Thanks. |
Anonymous
| Do you have debt, other than the mortgage? |
Anonymous
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Sounds like you need to get rid of the mortgage payment if you need the extra cash for nanny and schools. Also, is it possible if you get joint 50/50 custody with physical time split 50% with each parent that your EX would not need to pay you anything, or that you may have to pay him alimony? You make twice what he does, if it were him making the 400k it seems he'd have to pay out. Just wondering, dont know for sure.
Bottom line, on 400k you should be able to do what you need to do, just prioritize. |
Anonymous
I doubt alimony would be awarded to either. But if they get 50/50 split on time with the child, she will be paying child support to the ex. |
Anonymous
| Perhaps someone could recommend a reputable financial advisor or divorce mediator to help you sort through these complex issues... |
Anonymous
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We make 400K with 2 kids (one in private school one in daycare) and live in Silver spring.
Our mortgage is $475K. Private school is 20K Daycare is $1400/month. Part time nanny is $15/hr at 10 hrs week ($600/month) We have 2 new-ish (not paid off) Toyotas. We live in a small 3BR house in a close in, but not fancy neighborhood in a mediocre school district. We are very happy. We could not do a mortgage more than 475K, 2 private schools, and a nanny. As a single mom, you are going to need help, so I can see how keeping the nanny is a great idea and I commend you for wanting to keep your kids life stable. I assume you are now in Western MoCo? If your nanny drives, I would suggest you rent or buy East. The prices in Silver Spring, or Kensington in Einstein district, are WAY lower for the same size houses. Since your kids are in private, it doesn't matter. And it's a very very short commute west to schools on 410. For example, my 3BR colonial was 475, same exact house in B-CC or Whitman district is 875K, The neighborhoods are wonderful, and family friendly. You will discover a wonderful community of professionals and young kids. My street is full of lawyers, doctors, scientists, and a few nonprofit and media types. Single moms, working moms, same sex couples, and really happy kids. |
Anonymous
| Sometimes I wonder if these posts are complete HOAXs!! OP, there is not a judge in the land who will order your husband to pay child support or alimony - you make almost twice as much as he does!! If this is for real you should talk to a lawyer right away because depending on the custody arrangements you may have to pay him child support. |
Anonymous
That's not true. Child support depends, in part, on who gets the higher percentage of time (physical custody) with the kid. If he gets every other weekend, for example, she's carrying the weight of providing for the child. He'd be obligated to pay about 1/3 of whatever the court determines it costs to raise that particular child. |
Anonymous
We'll see how the hell your snobby kids turn out. Probably screwed up. We live in a very small inexpensive house making under $100K combined and our kids go to a public school. |
Anonymous
| I'd prioritize keeping the nanny. It's going to be tough to keep the house anyway, and the last thing your kids need at this time is to have to adjust to a new child care situation. |
Anonymous
We'll see how well your kids turn out with a parent who has a HUGE chip on her shoulder. Come on, I don't make anywhere near as much as the poster you quoted, but I see no reason why you think they kids are spoiled.  You just sound really envious.
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Anonymous
Too bad your marriage didn't work out as well as your career. |
Anonymous
No, we live in Silver Spring, but we like the fact that our children can be friends with all races & religions. |
Anonymous
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11:44, it's 11:32 here. How exactly did I offend you? I really don't think insulting someone's children is appropriate. I am a former head start kid who has worked full time since the day I turned 14. I put myself through public university, as did my husband.
I work 60 hours a week doing nonprofit social justice work, and my children have very good manners and are kind, loving, and have the right to the good music, foreign language, art, and PE classes that their private school offers. back off. |
Anonymous
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Idon't think it is as dire as you are presenting it.
Here are some quick #'s: $400,000 Base Salary $100,000 taxes (assume 25%) $300,000 Net Income $48,000 Mortgage (assume $800,000 at 6%) $52,000 Nanny $60,000 Schools (assume 2 * 30) $30,000 Savings (10%) $110,000 Available $$ Car payment Food Utilities Camp Vacations Clothing Insurance and Property Taxes Other Entertainment In the short term, I would look to start protecting yourslf. Cancel credit cards with both of your names on them so that you are not responsible for his expenses, protect whatever savings you have, by taking $ out of bank. Change where your direct deposit is going so that you can control how this $ is being spent. Talk with a lawyer and a financial advisor who will be able to help you start taking control of your financial life. As a soon to be single mom, you need a lot more buffer as well as insurance to cover the just in case situations. |