If you make about 400K (divorce planning)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes I wonder if these posts are complete HOAXs!! OP, there is not a judge in the land who will order your husband to pay child support or alimony - you make almost twice as much as he does!! If this is for real you should talk to a lawyer right away because depending on the custody arrangements you may have to pay him child support.

That's not true. Child support depends, in part, on who gets the higher percentage of time (physical custody) with the kid. If he gets every other weekend, for example, she's carrying the weight of providing for the child. He'd be obligated to pay about 1/3 of whatever the court determines it costs to raise that particular child.

No, the court still looks very strongly at income, as well. There's a simple calculator to figure that all out. The fact that she makes that much will def lower support payments from him - depending on custody split, of course.

And people are correct - if you get joint custody then YOU might be the one paying him support. I would talk to your lawyer about a lot of this.

Although I'm kind of dying a little inside reading this. I'm a single mom making 60K and trying to make ends meet. *sigh*

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:11:44, it's 11:32 here. How exactly did I offend you? I really don't think insulting someone's children is appropriate. I am a former head start kid who has worked full time since the day I turned 14. I put myself through public university, as did my husband.

I work 60 hours a week doing nonprofit social justice work, and my children have very good manners and are kind, loving, and have the right to the good music, foreign language, art, and PE classes that their private school offers.

back off.

I am not 11:44, but here is the problem with the initial post and yours. When someone who is really struggling to make ends meet (in this area making less than $100K) read that someone making $400K is worried about maintaining a certain lifestyle they are bound to get a little angry - its a natural human reaction. Not saying that it is right, but it is understandable.

None of the things that OP is trying to keep are necessities and she can have a great post divorce life with a few minor adjustments. With her income she could easier get a nice place to rent while she save to buy a place for her and her children. If private school tuition become a real pinch she could move to an area with good public schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:11:44, it's 11:32 here. How exactly did I offend you? I really don't think insulting someone's children is appropriate. I am a former head start kid who has worked full time since the day I turned 14. I put myself through public university, as did my husband.

I work 60 hours a week doing nonprofit social justice work, and my children have very good manners and are kind, loving, and have the right to the good music, foreign language, art, and PE classes that their private school offers.

back off.

I am not 11:44, but here is the problem with the initial post and yours. When someone who is really struggling to make ends meet (in this area making less than $100K) read that someone making $400K is worried about maintaining a certain lifestyle they are bound to get a little angry - its a natural human reaction. Not saying that it is right, but it is understandable.

None of the things that OP is trying to keep are necessities and she can have a great post divorce life with a few minor adjustments. With her income she could easier get a nice place to rent while she save to buy a place for her and her children. If private school tuition become a real pinch she could move to an area with good public schools.

I agree. The OP could have told the story a little differently as to not upset others who are struggling to make ends meet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:11:44, it's 11:32 here. How exactly did I offend you? I really don't think insulting someone's children is appropriate. I am a former head start kid who has worked full time since the day I turned 14. I put myself through public university, as did my husband.

I work 60 hours a week doing nonprofit social justice work, and my children have very good manners and are kind, loving, and have the right to the good music, foreign language, art, and PE classes that their private school offers.

back off.

I am not 11:44, but here is the problem with the initial post and yours. When someone who is really struggling to make ends meet (in this area making less than $100K) read that someone making $400K is worried about maintaining a certain lifestyle they are bound to get a little angry - its a natural human reaction. Not saying that it is right, but it is understandable.

None of the things that OP is trying to keep are necessities and she can have a great post divorce life with a few minor adjustments. With her income she could easier get a nice place to rent while she save to buy a place for her and her children. If private school tuition become a real pinch she could move to an area with good public schools.

I don't think that anyone gets angry, it is just that I think that people are breaking out their little violins. One can't help, but poke fun at high wage earners who get themselves into a rut with expensive homes and schools. They ask for it.

[Anonymous]

11:32 again- I don't want to hijack OP here with class warfare, because I feel for her.

Divorce is difficult, and she is trying to keep things stable for her kids. She already lives in a good school district, but when she and DH were making 650 combined, they decided to go private. Then, when they split she decided to try to keep the kids life as stable as possible by not switching schools while breaking up the family. That's good parenting.

Are the folks who are jealous of her 400K also jealous of her impending divorce? Her crying kids? Let's give her a break, please.

As to the income projections, I believe you should assume more than 25% for taxes. I think it is closer to 35%, depending on your state/county.

[Anonymous]

I think it would be a good idea to ditch the house with the huge mortgage. It sounds like it will be a source of stress, and your DH will probably want his share of any money you net from the sale anyway. Try to find a smaller house or a 3BR apartment/townhouse near your private school for a year, and then begin looking for a new house if you want after you've saved a down payment. If the nanny were less of a priority, I'd say get an au pair or live-in nanny to help with childcare and cut costs a bit too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:11:44, it's 11:32 here. How exactly did I offend you? I really don't think insulting someone's children is appropriate. I am a former head start kid who has worked full time since the day I turned 14. I put myself through public university, as did my husband.

I work 60 hours a week doing nonprofit social justice work, and my children have very good manners and are kind, loving, and have the right to the good music, foreign language, art, and PE classes that their private school offers.

back off.

I am not 11:44, but here is the problem with the initial post and yours. When someone who is really struggling to make ends meet (in this area making less than $100K) read that someone making $400K is worried about maintaining a certain lifestyle they are bound to get a little angry - its a natural human reaction. Not saying that it is right, but it is understandable.

None of the things that OP is trying to keep are necessities and she can have a great post divorce life with a few minor adjustments. With her income she could easier get a nice place to rent while she save to buy a place for her and her children. If private school tuition become a real pinch she could move to an area with good public schools.

I don't think that anyone gets angry, it is just that I think that people are breaking out their little violins. One can't help, but poke fun at high wage earners who get themselves into a rut with expensive homes and schools. They ask for it.

Like one of the posts from another thread about "I only save $4,000/mo. I want to retire early. I can't afford anything."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:11:44, it's 11:32 here. How exactly did I offend you? I really don't think insulting someone's children is appropriate. I am a former head start kid who has worked full time since the day I turned 14. I put myself through public university, as did my husband.

I work 60 hours a week doing nonprofit social justice work, and my children have very good manners and are kind, loving, and have the right to the good music, foreign language, art, and PE classes that their private school offers.

back off.

I am not 11:44, but here is the problem with the initial post and yours. When someone who is really struggling to make ends meet (in this area making less than $100K) read that someone making $400K is worried about maintaining a certain lifestyle they are bound to get a little angry - its a natural human reaction. Not saying that it is right, but it is understandable.

None of the things that OP is trying to keep are necessities and she can have a great post divorce life with a few minor adjustments. With her income she could easier get a nice place to rent while she save to buy a place for her and her children. If private school tuition become a real pinch she could move to an area with good public schools.

I don't think that anyone gets angry, it is just that I think that people are breaking out their little violins. One can't help, but poke fun at high wage earners who get themselves into a rut with expensive homes and schools. They ask for it.

Deep down, we're glad someone with money doesn't have a perfect life. Give a point for us poor slobs !!!

[Anonymous]

OP, I am sorry you are going through a divorace, not fun I'm sure.

However, if you and you STBX make $650K combined, you are probably using good attorneys and have access to good financial advisors (do you do your own taxes?), so why are you posting here? You know nothing about the people who are responding and we really know nothing about you except what you tell us.

I think many of us out here would have no problem (financially speaking only) living on $400K with 2 kids, even with private school tuition and nanny.

So what do you really want from your DCUM community?

[Anonymous]

I just cannot fathom having an income of 400K and having to worry about yanking kids from private school and renting an apartment because you can't afford anything else now that your income is not $650K.
What the heck are you doing with all the money?
I simply don't understand. Where is the spare $110K that the previous poster calculated going? How does anyone need more than $110K/year once shelter and childcare/schooling is paid for? Seriously, what do you spend it on that it makes for a tight budget? Clothing? Daily runs to Whole Foods?

Or is it like a previous poster mentioned that with an income of $400K your basic standard of living includes saving $4-5K a month off the top (as has been the case with previous posters who were feeling "poor" on incomes of 400K).

I don't get it. On 400K you should be able to afford private school for 2 and a reasonable mortgage payment for 600-800K house. Many, many, families in DC do this on a whole lot less.

I just don't see how 400K/year will ever be a tight budget unless you are saving 50% off the top or frittering away money to the tune of thousands a month. The money has to be going somewhere.

What I wrote above sounds snarkier than I meant it to me. That was actually not my intent at all. I am genuinely curious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just cannot fathom having an income of 400K and having to worry about yanking kids from private school and renting an apartment because you can't afford anything else now that your income is not $650K.
What the heck are you doing with all the money?
I simply don't understand. Where is the spare $110K that the previous poster calculated going? How does anyone need more than $110K/year once shelter and childcare/schooling is paid for? Seriously, what do you spend it on that it makes for a tight budget? Clothing? Daily runs to Whole Foods?

Or is it like a previous poster mentioned that with an income of $400K your basic standard of living includes saving $4-5K a month off the top (as has been the case with previous posters who were feeling "poor" on incomes of 400K).

I don't get it. On 400K you should be able to afford private school for 2 and a reasonable mortgage payment for 600-800K house. Many, many, families in DC do this on a whole lot less.

I just don't see how 400K/year will ever be a tight budget unless you are saving 50% off the top or frittering away money to the tune of thousands a month. The money has to be going somewhere.

What I wrote above sounds snarkier than I meant it to me. That was actually not my intent at all. I am genuinely curious.

The issue is the current mortgage. The OP did not state a number but it is likely very high, the house would have to be sold.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just cannot fathom having an income of 400K and having to worry about yanking kids from private school and renting an apartment because you can't afford anything else now that your income is not $650K.
What the heck are you doing with all the money?
I simply don't understand. Where is the spare $110K that the previous poster calculated going? How does anyone need more than $110K/year once shelter and childcare/schooling is paid for? Seriously, what do you spend it on that it makes for a tight budget? Clothing? Daily runs to Whole Foods?

Or is it like a previous poster mentioned that with an income of $400K your basic standard of living includes saving $4-5K a month off the top (as has been the case with previous posters who were feeling "poor" on incomes of 400K).

I don't get it. On 400K you should be able to afford private school for 2 and a reasonable mortgage payment for 600-800K house. Many, many, families in DC do this on a whole lot less.

I just don't see how 400K/year will ever be a tight budget unless you are saving 50% off the top or frittering away money to the tune of thousands a month. The money has to be going somewhere.

What I wrote above sounds snarkier than I meant it to me. That was actually not my intent at all. I am genuinely curious.

I agree with you 100%. She must be a real idiot not to be able to live on that salary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just cannot fathom having an income of 400K and having to worry about yanking kids from private school and renting an apartment because you can't afford anything else now that your income is not $650K.
What the heck are you doing with all the money?
I simply don't understand. Where is the spare $110K that the previous poster calculated going? How does anyone need more than $110K/year once shelter and childcare/schooling is paid for? Seriously, what do you spend it on that it makes for a tight budget? Clothing? Daily runs to Whole Foods?

Or is it like a previous poster mentioned that with an income of $400K your basic standard of living includes saving $4-5K a month off the top (as has been the case with previous posters who were feeling "poor" on incomes of 400K).

I don't get it. On 400K you should be able to afford private school for 2 and a reasonable mortgage payment for 600-800K house. Many, many, families in DC do this on a whole lot less.

I just don't see how 400K/year will ever be a tight budget unless you are saving 50% off the top or frittering away money to the tune of thousands a month. The money has to be going somewhere.

What I wrote above sounds snarkier than I meant it to me. That was actually not my intent at all. I am genuinely curious.

i am too for god's sake! We make just around 200K and we feel very comfortable and have a very healthy savings account. We don't even have to budget. We get automatic deposit of 2K into a savings account that we never see and feel like we buy whatever we want. Granted we don't send our kids to private schools (which I think is ABSURD in the first place) and we have a home with a modest mortgage. Literally if we made 400K/yr I would have more money than I would know how to spend. I would not move and we're not big into nice cars. I guess we would just take luxurious vacations around the world.

[Anonymous]

How does someone who manages to convince someone to pay them 400K per year not understand the basics of personal finance?

[Anonymous]

Have you noticed that the OP hasn't responded? Is that a sign that the post wasn't real? Or do those people (who post fake posts) keep coming back?